Where We Belong
by MandiMojo49
Summary: Following a tragic accident, a young woman somehow winds up in Edwardian-era England. She gets to board the "grandest ship in the world" and while on board, her priority is to try and keep the man she considers a hero, alive.
1. Going Home

**Hey everyone, I just wanted to take the time to welcome you to my first ever published FanFiction story, novella, whatever you want to call it. I am very grateful for the reviews/follows/favs/etc my story has received. I want to put out a couple of things that I hope everyone understands, blah blah blah. One, this is fanfiction, yes, I do know that some of the characters are indeed real, but I put some twists and whatnot into it because it is FANFICTION. It is supposed to off the beaten path. I do realize that I have made one character not really like his true self, again, that it why it is called FANFICTION. Fiction is supposed to be fake. That is why it is called that.**

 **I am a huge Titanic fan, but I also have wrote stories for other titles which need to be tweeked and poked/prodded before I even think about posting. First Officer Murdoch has been my favorite character since the movie came out (I was nine if you want to age me), for a couple of reasons, One, he was my first crush as a girl (the next movie guy crush that followed was Jason Isaacs from The Patriot. Feel free to look him up), and because to me he was the hero, even though he was portrayed as a bribe receiving d-bag, which still makes me angry. Anyway, again, welcome to my fanfiction. Reviews are welcomed, I ain't one of these types that gets butt hurt over negative and/or constructive criticism. Being on a Navy ship and sleeping around 150+ females for seven straight months will make your skin thick. Trust me. Enjoy!**

 _ **DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters from the 1997 movie, Titanic. Only my own. Peace.**_

 **CH 1**

 **GOING HOME**

"Come on Mandy, we don't have all day!" Yelled a frustrated man standing on the foot of the stairs. He kept looking at his watch and wondered what was taking his daughter so long.

Upstairs, an even more frustrated young woman was finishing up packing her numerous duffel bags and suitcases. Moving was not always something she was fond of, but this was one trip she was excited for. Amanda Spencer and her father, Commander Marcus Spencer were moving back to the states after a two year stint in Italy. Her father, a Naval Doctor, had retired from the Navy and she was excited to be finishing college with her friends back in Virginia. As she was finishing up with her last bag, she eyed a beat up looking doll. She smiled and picked it up and hugged it to herself. The doll, had important significance to her and it was something she would never give up, after 22 years.

"Love, we need to be at the airport in twenty minutes." A knock came at her door.

Amanda looked up at her father and immediately put her doll in her last bag and zipped it up.

"I'm done, sorry for taking too long. Kind of got a late start this morning."

Her father walked up to her and started to take some of her bags in his hands. She looked up at him and smiled as she did the same.

"You have had Lucy for so long now." He said.

His daughter sighed. "Well she is the last thing mom gave me."

"She loved you girl."

They began to walk downstairs to put the rest of her things in their van.

"You have her spirit, her eyes, and her heart." He continued.

Amanda smiled as shut the door and turned to her dad.

"Well I have some of your attributes too you know. Your patience and your wit."

Amanda's mother was of Cherokee descent and had met her father early in his Naval career. They married and soon after a baby girl was born in the month of March. That would be their only child; six years later, Amanda's mother had gotten hit by a drunk driver and perished in the crash. She had her brown eyes, sun-kissed brown skin, and her dark hair. Everything about her just about reminded her father of his late wife, Rachel.

They got into the van and took one last look of their neighborhood before starting the drive to the airport to go back home.

"You excited about Virginia Tech?"

Amanda would be starting her senior year as a History major. Her father always admired her interests in history, especially Naval history. She wanted to be a historian and possibly travel within the next couple of years.

"Oh yeah, I can't wait to see Carly and Tamara again." She replied happily.

Carly and Tamara were two of her best friends that she had grown up with and known since elementary school. Without Facebook or Skype, she wouldn't know what to do without talking to them.

Her father looked over at her and back at the narrow road.

"You need to be focusing on your studies love. It's a wonder you were able to squeak by this last term."

Amanda sighed and then looked out the window. She couldn't wait to be on her own and be able to do more of the things she liked. Even though she was no longer a teenager and grown, her dad had insisted she come with him and be under his watchful eye. Sometimes she felt like he treated her like one of his subordinates than as his daughter. She just wanted to be back in the states, at the beach and with her friends like the old days.

Amanda put her jacket in the overhead bin then took a seat. Her father had opened his new book and was intensely interested in what he was reading. She reached into her pocket, and took out her ear buds and phone. She had started to watch Titanic the night before and was content on finishing it. She had last seen it when she was a little girl and had the biggest crush on Cal Hockley. However, now that she had grown more and been studying up on Titanic for the last few months or so, she developed a huge interest in the officers of the vessel, especially the Titanic's First Officer.

Earlier in the year, she had written a thesis for college about William Murdoch and how much of a mystery his death really was. She had come to find out that the family of the man who was depicted of killing himself in the movie, was outraged that he was portrayed so negatively. It was at that moment that she became real interested in finding out about the man. The scene of him being on the bridge watching Rose and Jack kiss made her smile softly. She thought the man who portrayed Murdoch was really handsome and fit the part to a tee.

"At this time, please shut all electronic devices off, put your trays in the upright position and remain seated with your seat belts on." A smooth voice announced.

Amanda sighed then took her ear buds out and paused the movie. She looked out the window and noticed the sun coming up through the trees. She closed her eyes briefly and thought of her friends back home and the beach that she had envisioned being on for far too long. The one thing she hated the most was flying; it was on of her fears along with water. She not only had to endure the flights she was going to ride through before getting back home to Virginia, but also having to fly over large, vast water.

Her father put his book down then rested his hand on her knee. "You okay sweetie?"

"You have to ask?" Amanda looked at him.

"Just think about this as a hurdle to get home and back to your old stomping grounds." Her father said with a light chuckle.

"It's the taking off and landing part that scares me."

"Your mother was deathly afraid of flying too. She always said some prayer in Cherokee whenever she would have to fly."

Whenever Amanda heard her dad compare her to her mother, she always smiled inside because it was true, it seemed like anything she said or did was just like her. She closed the window shade and sat back and closed her eyes. The plane began to move and she tried to focus her thoughts more on being home than let her anxiety take over. She wanted nothing more to just fall asleep and sleep through it all. The shaking and constant buzzing noise was getting to her and that was when she whipped her headphones back out and looked through her music. With her hoodie over her head, it would disguise the ear buds.

It was not long until they first landed in Spain to fuel back up and then be back in the air again. The flight was now more boring than scary with Amanda being more anxious to get back to the states. Not long after they took back off, she had overheard a couple talking about a storm that was over the Atlantic and about how it was turning for the worst. She had thought nothing of it since it was easy for the pilots to fly around it if it was as bad as the couple behind her had said it was. After popping her ears, she sat back and closed her eyes and turned her music back on. She started listening to one of her favorite slow songs ever; it was one of those romantic, sexy songs she had always wanted to make out with a guy with it playing in the background.

"THUMP..."

Amanda's eyes snapped open and she looked over at her father. He bent over and picked his book up from the floor. Suddenly she felt another bump. This time it wasn't from her father's book falling to the floor.

"Daddy..what's going on?"

He looked over at her and cleared his throat. "There is some turbulence coming baby, calm down and just remember this is normal."

"Well you're the doctor, my stomach is now wanting to heave." Amanda said as she reached into her bag for more Dramamine.

Her father sighed then leaned over to her. "You know you can't have any more than you took back in Naples."

The next sound that was made was the voice of the Captain being heard overhead

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is your Captain speaking, we are experiencing a some heavy turbulence at this time. Please remain seated at this time with your seat belts on."

"Wonderful." Amanda quipped.

The plane had now shifted itself sharply and one woman let out a loud shriek. One of the aircrewman ran up the aisle and he fastened into his seat. Amanda lifted the window visor and saw that there was nothing but gray and black in the sky.

"The pilot has flown us right through the storm! The moron!" Amanda turned back to her father who too was looking out the window.

That was when Amanda's stomach dropped and the oxygen masks burst out from their compartments above the passengers. She huddled herself in a ball on her seat and started to pray and cry. She couldn't believe of all the rare times a plane could crash, this was one of those times. Her mind raced and she started to think of all the good times she had, graduating high school, starting college, traveling and meeting new people. Then suddenly her mind went blank. She felt like she wasn't getting enough air and reached up to grab her oxygen mask, she couldn't move her arms. Her arms and legs started to feel like jello and her sensory was starting to dull. The constant jerking of the plane and the screams of the other passengers started to soften. The world around her started to fade.

"Mama.."


	2. 1912

NOTE: I do not own any of the characters from Titanic 1997. Only my own

CHAPTER TWO

1912

The sun shot through the curtains and crept into the room. Amanda's arm instinctively moved to cover her eyes. She then turned over and tried to go back to sleep.

"Are you still asleep in there?" A voice asked then opened the door. Amanda shot straight up.

A young woman who looked to be about Amanda's age popped her head into the room.

"Mandy dear when have about another half hour then we have to be at the ship. Don't tell me you're not ready to leave!"

Amanda blinked then rubbed her eyes. She did not recognize who the person was that was not only standing ten feet away but also had called her by her nickname. She looked around the room, and everything she saw did not look modern. She looked under her pillow then on the nightstand by the bed. Her phone was nowhere to be found.

Amanda cleared her throat. "Where am I...who are you?"

The woman laughed lightly then sat on the edge of the bed. "Don't be pulling one of your jokes with me missy."

Amanda could not comprehend what was happening. The last thing she remembered was being in a plane that was about to crash.

The woman rolled her eyes and then looked back at her. "Sara, your best friend."

Amanda was still perplexed. She slowly got out of the bed and then looked at her nightgown. It was something that was definitely not hers.

"Where am I?"

Sara got up off the bed then put her hands on Amanda's shoulders. She was dumbfounded as to why she was acting so oblivious.

"Did you have a bad dream again?" Sara smiled. "You have been having some interesting dreams for a while now. Are you anxious about going back to New York? Listen, we are going to be Second Class passengers on the largest and possibly the grandest ship in the world-"

Amanda's eyes widened in shock and she couldn't help but interrupt. "Wha What? Grandest ship in the world? Do you mean that we are going to be on the Titanic!?"

"Yes silly! We are going back home. Goodbye England!" Sara all but screamed.

Mandy didn't know whether or not to laugh or faint. She had come to the conclusion that she was now living in the early 1900s; a part of her thought that this was just a real vivid dream and that she would wake up back on the plane. The other part of her didn't know exactly what to think. She had to think of a way to act and talk like someone of the era and as a history major, she did have some knowledge but wasn't the same as being someone of the time.

"Well, I best get my things together then." Amanda smiled.

Sara stood back and then gave her a quick hug. "Be ready by eight!" She closed the door behind her.

"Holy shit." Amanda closed her eyes then exhaled. She couldn't tell anyone she was from 2013 and there was no way anyone would believe her. She would be thrown in a psychiatric ward if anyone were to hear her exploits of being from the future. The only thing she could do at this point was ride out the storm and get to New York. She went over to a chest of drawers and pulled out some undergarments. She held a piece of clothing up and then realized what it was.

"Corset? Yeah right like I'm going to wear this. Whomever designed this needs to be shot." Amanda thought to herself. She put the ridiculously looking things back in its drawer. She sighed. "Where is my stuff? She said to herself as she looked around the room.

Apparently from the looks of the bags sitting on the window seat, she had packed early. She walked over to the closet and opened it up. There wasn't much in there considering she was going back to the US, according to her bosom buddy, Sara. There was however, a light pink day dress with a black sash. Amanda shrugged her shoulders and took it off the hook. It was pretty and somewhat dainty for her liking, but it was the fashion of the time and she had to eventually get used to it if she was to permanently stay in the time warp she was in. The undergarments were actually kind of comfortable; the corset she wore wasn't all what she thought it would be. She looked herself in the mirror. Her chestnut brown hair was still down and in its waves. She took it in her hand and began to wrap it into a bun, then fastened it with a pin. After doing one last twirl in the mirror, she went over to her window seat, got her bags then proceeded down the stairs. In her mind, she was still confused and somewhat frightened, but at the same time, she was excited to be in such a period of time where all the things she had come to love, were just starting out...

The ride to the pier was a long one. She sat nervously in the backseat with Sara just looking out the window. The sights were gorgeous; it was early Spring, the trees were just now blossoming. Cars were just now coming into the picture, it was fascinating. The streets, buildings, and the people all screamed out Edwardian. It was scary, yet so pleasurable. Amanda grinned like a kid at Christmas. This was too real to be a dream.

She looked down and noticed her satchel was on her lap. Unfastening it, she curiously looked inside it; perfume, a mirror, a hair brush, and what looked to be a tiny book with a piece of paper sticking out of it. She unfolded the piece of paper and the word "Titanic" was in bold letters along with an admission for one second class passenger. That was when she felt her heart jump start and the reality of the situation began to sink in.

"I am so excited! We have been away for so long..." Sara said.

Amanda looked over at Sara and grinned. The girl was very fair-skinned, like a shade of alabaster. Her hair was bright strawberry blonde and her eyes were hazel. The girl looked stunning. In a way, Amanda felt like she looked dirty and improper compared to the pristine state that Sara looked to be. She couldn't imagine how they got to be best friends. Sara seemed to be the kind of girl who was kept sheltered and probably went through some finishing schools in her early life. She was also curious as to why they were even living abroad if they were from New York. Amanda looked back out the window; she could start to see masses of people. There were women in beautiful frocks and in fancy looking hats. The men looked very proper and some were carrying various pieces of luggage. She could then make out a large vessel in the foreground; this was when Amanda felt heat trickle up her neck and into her face. This was the Titanic, and this was going to be the fate of many people.

Amanda began to think of how oblivious these people were, including her best friend. She knew that there was no way people would ever believe her if she said anything about the night that was going to come in a matter of days. People would think she was mad and crazy; she would be locked away. Deemed to be deranged and deluded. There were then two choices that presented itself: to possibly prevent anything bad from happening and change history, or just figure out a way to survive.

"We are here! I can't believe it!" Sara's shrieking completely broke Amanda out from her reverie. She looked over at Sara and smiled. "Oh Mandy, we are such lucky girls to be going home on this huge ship!"

"Yes it is truly amazing." Amanda said then felt the car come to a halt. She started to feel the blood rush and a sudden pang of nausea.

"I wish Xanax existed right now..." She thought to herself.

Sara opened her door and all but ran out. Amanda sat in the car for a moment and attempted to digest what was happening. A part of her just wanted to wake up and this be a dream; the other was starting to get excited. She slowly opened the car door and scooted off the seat, bag in hand. She looked up and was taken back at how big the ship really was in real life. The sun made her cover her eyes just to get a good glance at the doomed vessel.

"Mandy, let's go get in line." Sara said then took Amanda's hand and proceeded them to the pier. A small line was starting to form outside one of the main doors. She could make out two men on the inside waiting to let people in. As they began to walk up the brow, Amanda's nerves started to dance. She couldn't believe that this was really happening and to make matters worse, her fear of heights started to kick in. The brow they were walking on to get to their entrance was inclining above the water. They stopped about thirty feet away from the hatch. Amanda swallowed hard and put her bag down. Trying not to look down, she looked straight forward to see if she can spot anyone in the doorway. From her vantage point, she could see two covered officers. She stood on the top of her toes to see if maybe she could get a good glimpse at them and possibly see if they resembled anyone from what she read about the Titanic.

"What are you doing?" Sara asked.

Amanda stood down. "Just trying to see something. What are you doing?"

Sara rolled her eyes.

"When are we supposed to be allowed to come onto the ship? It's balls cold out here." Amanda then stopped and realized she was talking her 2013 slang. She felt her face turn red.

"What did you just say?" Sara asked confused.

"It's cold out here. I'm cold." Amanda then crossed her arms to signify she cold, hoping Sara overlooked what she had slipped out.

"You were always a strange girl." Sara laughed. "I am sure we won't be out here too much longer I hope."

Amanda smiled then looked down at her feet then back up. She couldn't stand to be on the brow any longer. The water, along with the breeze made the air more chilly and it was driving her crazy. She could not wait to get on and warm up.

Suddenly, the line started to move and people were slowly and steadily heading onto the ship. Amanda's heart began to pound as she picked up her bag and began to walk up the brow. Sara's excitement reached an all time high.

"I can hardly speak! This is it!" She squealed. Amanda rolled her eyes from behind her.

Once they got about 10 feet away, there was a voice that seemed very familiar to Amanda. She looked around and saw the two officers at the edge of the door and bulkhead. One was a rather young looking man that had a feminine looking face. The other man, Amanda knew instantly. Her eyes rounded like saucers and her heart was beating in her ears. Sara walked up to the feminine looking man and handed him her second class ticket. He took it, stamped it then gave it back to her with a smile. Amanda went up to the other man and handed him her ticket.

"How are you today Miss?" The officer asked gently.

Amanda looked into his blue eyes and then felt like the ground beneath her disappeared.

"How are you Sir?" She managed to say.

The man smiled gently and then took her hand. Her eyes rounded in shock.

"I asked you first Miss." He said.

Amanda looked up at him. "I am just fine, cold, but fine. Thank you for asking." She said.

"Well once you get settled, you ought to get yourself some tea. The stewards will be more than happy to assist you with anything you may need." The man said then handed back her ticket.

She nodded in response and then picked her bag up and walked onto the ship. Sara was standing away waiting on her; she noted the dreamy look on her face and burst out laughing.

"Amanda dear, are you alright?"

Amanda proceeded to walk and not acknowledge her friend. She felt like she was on another planet. Sara hurried and caught up to her.

"Hello, Mandy? Best friend?" Sara said then took a hold of her arm. Amanda snapped back into reality.

"Oh my God I am sorry, I was daydreaming I guess." She managed to get out. She wouldn't tell Sara the real truth.

"I know what you mean! Isn't this place grand?" We have separate rooms but we share a powder room and sitting room. We are in rooms 30 and 31." Sara said.

Amanda then looked at her ticket and saw that she was in room C-31. "Baskin Robbins-Chocolate. 31 flavors, favorite flavor." She thought to herself as a good way to remember. The girls walked up to an elevator and the man smiled at them.

"Where to ladies?"

Sara spoke up. "C please."

They went up two decks and got off at their passageway. They followed where the sign on the wall told them to go and after turning the corner, they got to their rooms. Amanda opened the door and saw that her bags were already in her room. She had what looked to be a double bed, with white sheets and a dark green blanket. The walls were mahogany colored with mahogany furniture. She shut the door behind her and leaned up against the door. She shut her eyes and thought of seeing the man with the blue eyes meeting hers, his warm smile and his calm demeanor. Her stomach started to flutter at the thought of his smooth voice; smooth like velvet and honey. That was when she forgot about her present state; she forgot about her not being able to use her iPhone, hear her music playlists, driving her Jeep. She forgot about the lack of luxuries she was living without. Her mind was now occupied with one thing and one thing only...

Seeing him in the flesh, 1st Officer Murdoch.


	3. Getting Settled

NOTE: I only own the characters that are not in the 1997 movie.

CHAPTER THREE

GETTING SETTLED

Amanda started to open suitcases to stow away her things. One suitcase had nothing but shoes and hats in it.

"Damn I got a lot of shoes. What do I need all these shoes for?" She said to herself as she took the suitcase and dumped everything on her bed. Some of the boots had buttons on the sides that required a hook to fasten them. The dressy shoes were very dainty and elegant. She fell in love with those at first sight. The closets she had provided enough room to fit her entire wardrobe and then some. She started to organize her many pairs of shoes. The hats she threw on top of the shelf that was above the clothes rack. She took her first empty suitcase and placed it under her bed. She couldn't wait to see what was in the two others.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

Sara popped her head in. "Want to go have a cup of tea with me?"

Amanda looked over at her. "I want to get the rest of my things put up so I won't have to worry about it later."

Sara then walked into the room and shut the door behind her. She walked over to a rocking chair.

"So are you excited? Probably not as much as I am but I am sure you are glad to be leaving England."

Amanda took out some dresses and started to put them on hangers. "I am very happy to be going home. As a matter of fact, I cannot wait to get to know everyone again."

"You need help with any of that?" Sara stood up and walked over to her.

"No, but thank you, say I tell you what, I was going to take a short nap after I get all of this taken care, you mind waking me up before dinner?" Amanda asked.

Sara smiled and nodded her head. She then gave her friend a quick hug and then took her leave.

Amanda went back to hanging up more clothing. The suitcase was nearly empty but she decided that she had enough things out and then shoved that suitcase up under the bed with the other one. The third smaller suitcase had soaps and shampoos in it. She room had a wash basin and a bowl on top of a cabinet. She opened the small door and put all her toiletries in it. Once everything was stowed. She walked over to her bed and went into her satchel to take out the small book she had found on her way to the ship. She opened the book and saw that the pages were blank.

"I suppose I should start writing again." She thought to herself. She suddenly got the idea to start walking around and explore. She walked over to her closet and took out a thin coat, looked at herself in the mirror and then walked out into the passageway. She walked over to Sara's door and thought about asking her if she wanted to accompany her but then she realized that she was better off alone. She started down the passageway and walked past a couple who were bickering about closet space. Amanda rolled her eyes. She turned the corner and walked to what looked like the door to a dining area. She opened one of the doors and helped herself inside. The tables were adorned with white tablecloths and regular looking wooden chairs. The carpeting was a maroon and gold color with matching drapes and curtains that hung on the windows. It looked very grand for a second class dining room she thought to herself. A couple of stewards came out of a back room with a tray of china to start setting the tables with. She swiftly but quietly turned to make her leave.

She walked to the other side of the dining hall and walked up a small ladderwell. She looked up on the wall and saw a sign that pointed to another ladderwell to get to a hatch that led to the outside. She smiled and climbed the stairs and opened the door. She shut it behind her and saw a few people smoking cigars and reading. They looked like they were second class passengers from their state of attire. She walked over to a couple of ladies who were engaged in some conversation.

"Pardon me ma'am, could you tell me if this is first class or second class?" Amanda asked with a smile.

An older looking woman looked up at her with a gentle smile. "It's Second Class love. Are you getting along alright?" The woman had a Scottish accent.

Amanda smiled and nodded. She then wished them a good afternoon and started to walk around. The side of one of the posts that surrounded the sitting area, had a sign that said it was for second class passengers only. "Good to know." She said to herself. She started to walk forward toward the front of the ship. Some more children were engaged in play. She started to see what looked to be the lifeboats fastened and secured on the side of the ship. A chill ran up her spine as thoughts started to invade her about how scarce the boats were in comparison to the amount of people who were onboard. A sudden pang of nausea hit her and her vision started to go blurry. She quickly but carefully went up to the railing and tried to get her standings back. She felt the sudden urge to throw up. The contents of her stomach came out in lightning speed; she looked around and saw that there was no one in her line of vision. When she thought she was done, more had come up.

Her journal slipped out from under her arm and into the vast blue water below her. She let out a loud yelp. It was gone.

Once she was left with empty hacks, she slowly eased back up and sat on the edge of the ship up against the backside of the lifeboat. The nausea was gone thankfully but the thoughts of the impending sinking left her feeling completely guilty. She was now starting to miss home and how her life was before coming to her current state. She missed her father, and didn't know if he was alive or dead from the plane crash. She looked up to the sky and then hugged her legs and began to cry. She cried for the people onboard, she cried for herself, and she cried for her journal that fell overboard.

"Miss?" A soft voice said from a few feet away. Amanda didn't acknowledge it. Hopefully it was a figment of her imagination.

The voice was getting closer. She felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. She looked up and wiped the tears to get a better glimpse of the person trying to get her attention.

"Are you alright?"

Amanda's cries became silent. The man's face looked familiar, mouse-like.

"Whatever is the matter Miss?" He asked.

She sat up and tried to get up. He grasped her arms gently and helped her to her feet. She brushed herself off and looked up at the man who came to her rescue. When she finally realized who it was, she slightly gasped and then laughed to herself. It was Officer Lightholler.

"You need to sit down." He said sternly.

"No, no I am alright, I just don't have my sea legs is all." She said with a slight chuckle. The man smiled at her response.

"We should get you down to the sick bay and have the doc look at you." He said.

Amanda shook her head and looked up at him. "No, no, I just need to rest and maybe get some Dramamine."

Lightholler's face suddenly contorted into mild confusion. His eyes squinted.

"I didn't catch that, Miss."

She caught on to what had slipped out. "Oh, I am so sorry, I meant to say I should just get some rest." She said with a smile.

"When was the last time you ate something?"

Amanda sighed then closed her eyes to think back, she only remembered waking up and then coming to the ship.

He nodded. "Thought so, come with me, I won't be on shift until tonight." He offered his arm. She hesitantly took it then linked her arm with his.

They walked around the corner, onto a large platform, through a door and down a ladderwell.

"You really don't have to do this Sir, you need your rest." Amanda said behind him.

"It's no trouble at all, besides it would be forever on my conscience if I didn't come to your aid."

They went up another ladderwell and walked down a passageway and came to a set of double doors. The sign above them read "OFFICERS MESS". He opened the door for her and she went in first. The place was surprisingly empty. He motioned her to sit at a small table.

"Lily?" The man called out.

Amanda looked over and saw an older woman come out from the kitchen. She looked to be about maybe fifty or so.

"Could you please bring us both tea and some cookies please?"

The older woman smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgement.

Lightholler took his cover off and sat down across from Amanda. His dark hair had some streaks of gray.

Amanda couldn't help but stare. He cleared his throat.

"So what happened when I saw you? You seemed real upset." He asked while adjusting his seat.

Amanda sighed and think of a plausible answer. "Emotions of going back home, then missing the friends I did make while in England. Then there was my lack of buoyancy." She said with a chuckle. "I got a little nauseous."

Charles laughed. "So does the lady have a name or should I keep calling you miss?"

She sat up in her chair and looked him in the eyes. "Oh, I am sorry, it's Amanda, Amanda Spencer. Everyone calls me Mandy for short and may I ask what you're called besides "Sir"?" Like she didn't know whom he was.

"2nd Officer Charles Lightholler." He said with a grin. "You seem like you aren't from this part of the world."

"I am from the states. Well, you know America." She said as she adjusted in her chair.

Lily came over to their table with a small tray of hot tea and a plate of cookies. She sat them down gently. "Is there anything else I may get for you and the lady Sir?" She asked in a Cockney accent.

"No madam that will be all for now, thank you." and with that Lily bowed her head slightly and headed back into the kitchen.

Charles poured himself and her a cup. "How do you take your tea?"

Amanda suddenly got red in the face. She wasn't real familiar with drinking tea or preparing it. All she ever known was coffee and hot cocoa.

"Well, you make mine like you do yours." She said then took a cookie off of the plate.

Charles then poured a little milk and a spoonful sugar and stirred. He then passed it on to her. She blew the tea to cool it off a little then put her lips to the edge.

"So if I may ask, and forgive me for prying, but your skin is so unique and beautiful, did you spend a lot of your life outside?" He asked as he picked up a cookie.

Amanda nearly choked on her tea. She didn't know how to tell him about her real origin. She didn't quite know how to explain it without fear he might be repulsed.

"I did actually. I was an outdoor sort of girl. You see, I was raised in the rural south. South Carolina to be exact. My parents were farmers and I was out there helping them most of the time."

"And how did you end up over here?" Charles asked.

Before she could answer, the doors flew open and they banged up against the wall. Charles looked up as Amanda turned around; her eyes rounded as she saw 1st Officer Murdoch with a scowl on his face. Her heart started to race.

"Bloody hell!" William yelled.

Charles got up from the table and went to his friend. "What the hell is going on?" Charles asked.

William ignored him and walked up to the bar. He reached behind the table and grabbed a dark bottle from the shelf. Before he took a swig, he noticed Amanda sitting at the table with her eyes burning into him. He put the bottle down onto the bar and looked over at Lightholler then back at Amanda. He had seen her from somewhere but he was having trouble putting two and two together.

"I seem to have interrupted you both." William quipped.

Amanda stood up, her legs feeling like jello, and walked over to the two men to introduce herself.

"This is Miss Amanda Spencer, she fell ill while I was on my to my cabin and I came to her aid." Charles introduced to William.

William's pale blue eyes pierced into hers; they kept staring at each other not knowing what to say or do it seemed like. After a moment of the silence, she decided to try and break the ice.

"Good afternoon to you, I am Mandy Spencer." She stuck her hand out to shake his and smiled gently. He then looked down at her hand and then back up at her and smiled himself. He took her small, dark hand and put it to his lips in a gentle, velvety kiss. She gasped softly and suddenly felt as if her legs were going to collapse from under her.

"So Will what happened that got you all upset?" Charles asked from behind Amanda. William kept looking into Amanda's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Amanda returned the exact stare. At that moment, she felt like everything now had made sense.

"Murdy!" Charles yelled. William slightly jumped and looked up at Charles. "What happened to have you come in like an angry man?"

Amanda turned and grabbed her shawl. "This probably isn't any of my business." She said softly.

Charles walked up to her. "You should eat a little bit more before I escort you back outside."

Amanda looked over at William who had went back over to the bar and poured himself a drink. He then offered the bottle to Lightholler who had then shook his head in response to Will's offer of the whiskey.

"I was demoted to First Officer. Wilde is Chief Officer." William said with a bit of disdain in his voice.

"Well, you should have known it would happen, after all, he has been in a little longer than you have so he has the experience." Lightholler said.

William rolled his eyes. "He is a brown nose Lights. I have just as much sea time under my belt as he and I have never had a single reprimand."

Amanda reclined in her chair and continued to listen to William lament. From what she had read up on Murdoch, what he was saying seemed to be making sense. At the same time though, she couldn't help but notice how different he seemed in contrast to how she saw him in the movie. His features were currently hardened. He didn't look like the soft, gentle man she was fond of.

William slammed his bottle down; Amanda jumped slightly in her chair. Lightholler walked over to where his friend stood. "Maybe it is for the best Will."

Amanda stood up and grabbed her shawl. "Mr. Lightholler, you have been most compassionate and nice, thank you." She touched his arm lightly in appreciation. She turned and looked up at Will, her throat feeling suddenly dry. "Mr. Murdoch, I hope everything works out." She smiled gently and his face softened and in return he smiled back. She went on her way to leave the mess.

"Miss Spencer, I will be more than happy to escort you to your cabin." William said behind her. Amanda's face began to heat up. She swallowed and then turned around to look at him.

"I can manage Sir." She nodded.

"Well if you won't allow me to escort you, then at least meet me for lunch tomorrow afternoon before I go on watch."

Amanda felt a shiver go up her spine. She looked down at her feet then back up at William. She nodded with a soft smile.

"I will meet you at the Second Class mess at lunchtime." She then turned back to the doors. She wanted to burnt into a flame.


	4. Updates & News

Hey guys, this isn't an actual chapter but an update, I have been sick with strep and then it turned into mono so all I have been doing is sleeping. If you don't know what Mono is, you ain't missing anything. I have been writing CH 4 and I PROMISE you it will be uploaded on or a couple of days after the new year. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a joyous Kwanzaa. Please Please PLEASE leave reviews, raves, complaints, critiques, compliments, etc. This is my first time even publishing fanfiction online and it is quite exciting yet scary. Peace && love everyone!

Mandi


	5. Dinner and Insomnia

_NOTE: I only own my characters and not the characters from the 1997 movie, Titanic_

 **CH4**

 **DINNER AND INSOMNIA**

Amanda all but ran to her berthing. She had completely forgot that she was supposed to be napping and that Sara was supposed to wake her before their supper. As she turned the corner into the main passageway, she ran into something hard. The voice made a grunting noise; she looked up and stood back and saw that she had ran into what looked to be Mr. Andrews. Her face started to turn six shades of red.

"Sir, I do apologize." Out of breath, she continued to wheeze.

Mr. Andrews laughed a little and he put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright young lady?"

She blinked and then slowed her breathing a little bit. "I am, I am in a hurry because I was supposed to meet with my friend for supper and technically was supposed to be napping but I got caught up in some things she doesn't know about and if I don't get to her like now, she will then ask me fifty questions as to why I am not in my room. I am rambling, I am sorry." Amanda said in one breath.

"Rambling? Is that what we call it these days?" He asked with a chuckle.

Amanda closed her eyes and cursed herself. Once again her 21st century vernacular tongue had taken over; she had to start learning to talk like these people..

"Well you know you always have that one friend that has to know everything."

Mr. Andrews smiled once again. "Well I will let you go, be careful and tell your friend that maybe she needs to loosen the strings a little bit."

"Oh I certainly will. Good day to you Sir."

Once they parted, she power walked to her room, rounded the corner, then came across Sara and some man she didn't at all recognize, talking.

"Shit." Amanda muttered under her breath.

Sara looked over at Amanda and smiled. "I was wondering where you were."

"Oh, I couldn't sleep so I thought about walking around for a little bit. Getting a feel of the place."

The man chimed in. "Very nice ship is it not?" He was a blonde haired man who looked to be a steward and he had a Scottish accent. Amanda grinned and nodded.

"And you couldn't invite me?"

Amanda looked over at her friend. "I didn't want to disturb you and I am glad I didn't. You wouldn't have met this charming man."

Sara blushed then looked down at her feet. The man cleared his throat. "I am Second Class Steward John Thompson, Miss."

Amanda nodded. "Amanda Spencer, I go by Mandy. Nice to meet you."

"Well I better be off, dinner will be served shortly. You ladies are not too far from the dining room."

"When is dinner exactly? I am trying to learn the ins and outs of being on a ship." Amanda cocked her head to the side.

The man smiled. "Breakfast is six in the morning until eight, lunch is at eleven to one, and dinner is five to seven. We also have room service of course."

"Noted." Amanda nodded.

"Well you ladies have a good evening." He then kissed Sara's cheek and walked off. Sara's face went from a fading pink to now a dull red.

Amanda laughed and then walked over to her door. "I will see you in about half an hour. I am going to change."

Sara turned around and then nodded. "I think I am going to wear what I have on. See you in soon."

Amanda shut her door.

Amanda had picked out a dark green velvety frock that had a low collar with black lace embroidered on the edge of it. She decided to put on a corset top on instead of a whole body wrap. She could not stand them and she really didn't need one. Her curves were perfect, thanks in part to her genes. Her friends and other people she had known always assumed at first that she was half black and then were taken back when she would tell them she was half-Cherokee. She French-braided her into pigtails and then twisted them into some sort of crown. A few wisps escaped her do and framed her face in a somewhat perfect way.

With one last look in the mirror, she turned to leave her room. She closed the door behind her and went and knocked on Sara's door.

"Coming!"

A few people walked past Amanda on their way to dinner; one woman gave her a strange look. Amanda smiled at her. She knew what that look was, she had received it so many times in her lifetime. When she lived down south at one point, a stranger came up to her and called her a "half-breed". She was eleven.

Sara opened the door to find her friend's back turned toward her. "Are you ready?" Sara asked.

Amanda turned around and grinned in acknowledgement. The girls headed down the passageway to the dining room; Amanda couldn't help but ask Sara about her new friend.

"So how did you and John find each other? He seemed nice." Amanda opened the door for her friend and stepped inside behind her. The dining hall looked different with people in it and the lights on. The room had a strong aroma of food and perfume.

"I wanted some tea after I left you initially and John was gracious enough to bring me some." They both found a table and sat down. A server came over and flipped their glasses over and began pouring them water.

"Would you ladies care for anything to drink?" An older man asked as he filled their glasses.

Amanda looked up from reading her menu. "A glass of white wine please."

"Just water, thank you."

The menu had some food choices that were very much familiar with what Amanda was used to eating back home. She couldn't decide on what she wanted.

"So the tea led the both of you to carry on for so long? He must be something then."

Sara looked up from menu and smiled. "He just has a thing about him, I can't really explain it."

"He seems nice, pleasant to be around, and hot."

Sara almost spit her water out. "Hot?" She laughed hysterically. "What do you mean?"

"He is handsome. Not my kind but he is good looking." Amanda grabbed a piece of bread from its basket.

"What is your kind exactly? I mean you had plenty of boys at school fancy you and that voice of yours whenever you sang in choir but you seemed to not like any one of them."

Amanda's eyes rounded and she shifted in her seat. Now her whereabouts were starting to come together. She was in school, possibly some kind of boarding school of sorts or university, and like her original self, she liked to sing. Only at home, she was not in any type of choir. At one point she pondered the decision of not finishing college and going to New York to possibly get discovered.

She started to think of a way to figure out how to get any other information.

"So at this university, why do you think I wasn't going after the boys?"

Sara put her menu down. "You thought that they were too childish. You always said you wanted someone older to possibly marry one day."

Amanda looked away and then shut her eyes. " _Where is that damn wine?"_

"You excelled though. Always wanted to be the smartest and the brightest. You certainly did manage that; made me jealous at one point." Sara laughed.

The waiter came by with the wine.

Amanda all but inhaled the glass and sat it down the on the table. The Sara and the waiter looked at her like she had committed some crime.

"Thirsty." Amanda said with a chuckle. "May I have another?"

The waiter smiled. "Are you doing alright Miss?"

"Yes, just nerves."

He nodded in understanding. "Well are you both ready to order?"

"I will have the salmon please." Sara said then handed the man her menu.

He then turned his attention to Amanda.

"I will have the baked turkey and rice please."

The waiter quickly scribbled down their orders and grabbed the menus. He gave one last smile to Amanda and then left.

"What is the matter with you?" Sara took a hold of Mandy's hand.

"Like I said, nerves. I am nervous about going back home after being away for so long. I will be fine, I promise you."

Sara grinned softly. "I so love your dress Mandy, the green brings out your skin and eyes. I have never told you this before, but I used to be a bit jealous of your beauty. Your olive skin and green eyes have always been something I was fond of you for."

"Well you don't clean up badly yourself. Your hair is so fine and straight. You have the prettiest freckles. You will meet yourself a fine man one day. Hopefully a man who has a lot of money and love to give."

The waiter brought her another glass of wine and this time he had brought a bottle with it. Amanda looked up at him with surprised eyes.

"To calm your nerves dearest." He said with a smile.

"I am not an alcoholic or anything, I do hope you didn't get that impression Sir. Anyway, doesn't this cost anything?"

"Wine or spirits are complementary the way you present yourself with your honesty is very endearing. Your meals shall be out momentarily." The waiter nodded and turned away to tend to the other diners.

 _I could get used to this..._

After dinner and dessert was served, the girls ventured off to their respective rooms. The excitement of the day was getting to Amanda and she couldn't wait to get to sleep and start the day over again. Some of her thoughts were starting to get to her as she thought of how to get the ship to not hit the iceberg or to escape the possibility of the inevitable and get away. She entered her room and found a female stewardess setting up a tub for her. The door opening startled the girl.

"Miss, I do hope you don't mind me tending to your bath, I decided to bring the tub in just in case you needed a bath. I, I didn't mean to intrude or be rude. Orders from above I assure you." The girl was a neurotic mess.

"It's alright." Mandy walked over to the maid. "I was going to order myself a tub anyway, it has been a long day. You are fine Miss." She smiled at the young girl. She looked to be around her age. She had an English accent and brunette hair. She was real petite and fair-skinned like Sara was.

The maid smiled and then laid out a couple of towels and a robe. The robe was a velvet like material and had the White Star Line insignia on it.

"Are you the only lady maid for the Second Class passengers?"

The maid turned. "Oh heavens no Miss, I just got on shift. I am in charge of the ladies' rooms and making sure they have what they need for the evening. Is all. My name is Nellie James."

Amanda stuck her hand out to shake the maid's. "Amanda Spencer, you may call me Mandy. I don't exactly like the formalities. I know you are just being proper and professional but at the same time we are practically the same age and you seem like someone to talk to from time to time."

Nellie giggled. "I have to be honest, I have never met someone as nice as you. Anyway, I have to tend to the next few rooms, I am on shift from seven to midnight if you need anything."

"Thank you but I will be asleep so you won't hear a peep from me. I will be here of course until we are back in the states so if you want to hang out or anything just say so."

Nellie then giggled a bit again. "Hang out?"

 _Damn it, again..._ Amanda thought to herself.

"Sorry, some somewhat slang I picked up while being abroad. Thanks for setting the tub up."

Nellie then nodded and briskly left the room.

Mandy went over to her wash basin and took out some of the soaps and shampoos she had brought with her. She sprinkled some of the bath salts into the hot, steaming water and let it mix. She sat on the edge of the tub and began to take her shoes and stockings off; she couldn't wait to get into the tub and into one of the pretty nightgowns she had folded in her closet.

She had laid in bed for a couple hours and tossed and turned. Sleep seemed to be miles away. The bed was somewhat harder than what she was used to; she missed her memory foam mattress. The first night in a strange and soon to be non existing place wasn't very helpful to say the least. She also noted that it was silent. This was something else Mandy wasn't used to. She was used to having her fan on or a window open with the crickets chirping outside. She didn't know what to do. She had an idea to go to the sick bay to request a tranquilizer but then she realized she would probably put her ten pounds of underwear back on and something more appropriate and that was not an appealing idea.

She got out of bed and put a house coat on over her nightie. She slipped into some slippers by the bed and lit the lamp at her bedside. She thought of going out to get some air. That seemed to be a welcoming idea to her. She quietly opened her door to find the passageway was dim and ambient. Walking down to the end of the corridor, she went up the ladderwell that led to the outside decks.

Mandy opened the hatch and the night air hit her softly. She closed the door behind her and walked across the Second Class lounge area and went over to a capstan and climbed onto to it and sat down. She looked up at the stars and the bright moon; it had to have been about midnight. The sea breeze felt like both a welcomed treat and a knife that suddenly cut her to her bones. She loved the view.


	6. The First Night

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters from the 1997 movie Titanic, only my own. Peace._**

 ** _Please R &R! _**

**CH 5**

 **THE FIRST NIGHT**

The view from sitting on the capstan was wonderful to say the least. The moon reflected on the water in a way that looked to be from a painting. At her present state, she began to feel peace; peace from the hustle and bustle of what she now considered to be her former life, and sadly, when she wasn't around her friend. Things seemed so much more easier and in a way more intimate and personable since modern technology didn't exist. Being primitive was something that Amanda thought she could never do but the more she thought of having less in her life, the more she began to realize that sometimes less is more.

Everything was quiet except for the sounds of the ocean surrounding her. The brightness of the moon with the lights of the ship created an ambiance and it made the night seem more romantic and surreal. It made her start to replay the events in her head of the first day. The confusion of how she ended up in the Edwardian era of 1912 was still very much fresh but at the same time she had started to grow accepting of her new found territory. She had to still conjure up some sort of scenario of either trying to survive the inevitable, or to prevent the collision from happening all together. Either way, she had to be strong and that made her start thinking of the other major event that was more profound: William Murdoch. From the moment she locked her eyes with him on the ship's brow, it had ignited her soul.

She found herself humming one of her favorite songs after a while of being outside; it was appropriate with her thoughts of the man who had captivated her. She smiled at the thought of possibly seeing him the next day for lunch as she continued to hum. She didn't have a care in the world as she sat on top of the capstan with the night air filling her hair and caressing her face. After a minute she began to softly sing:

"You shed a shadow on my life...shed a shadow on a love. Took the shelter out of my life, took the shelter of a lie..."

She closed her eyes and felt her soul ease into the words...

"I couldn't see it in your restless eyes, the truth I was hiding..."

"The truth you could not disguise...but I'd never thought I'd see the day. I knew I'd need a miracle to make you stay..."

"I knew, I needed a miracle and I never thought I'd see the day."

Nearby, a freshly dressed and awaken officer was making his rounds with a cup of tea in his hands. Officer Murdoch had just started his overnight watch and his first duty was to make the nightly rounds. As he took a sip if his hot tea, he started to hear a sound that wasn't related to the ship. The more he walked toward the forward decks, the gradually the sounds became more clear. He came across Amanda who was about 20 feet away from him. Her eyes were closed and her hair was down and moving lightly from the wind. He instantly recognized her as the woman he had seen in the officer's mess with Lightholler and then it dawned on him, she was the same woman with whom he met at on the brow of the Second Class passengers. He felt paralyzed in the spot he was standing in. She sounded and looked like an angel.

He closed his eyes and continued to listen to her words, which to him sounded like she was in a mixture of pain and pleasure. She didn't seem like the normal, proper women he had encountered in his lifetime up until that moment. She was different, ahead of her time. He wanted to move up closer to her without disturbing her; as he started to slowly walk, he stumbled over a piece of a rope and dropped his teacup, it shattered into a hundred pieces.

Amanda nearly jumped and turned her head and locked her eyes with William. She felt a sharp shock go up her spine and her face contorted into a warm smile. William smiled back then stooped down to pick up the pieces of the porcelain from the cup. Amanda hopped down from her spot and came over to his aid to help him.

"No love you will cut yourself, I can manage." William slipped out.

She ignored him and gathered some of the pieces into the pocket of her housecoat. They both stood up together and threw their pieces overboard.

She looked at him and then suddenly got shy. He had called her "love" and it made her uncharacteristically bashful.

"What are in the world are you doing out here so late? You must be freezing."

She looked up at him and swallowed. "I couldn't sleep. First night in a new place and I just needed to get some air."

He nodded in understanding.

"How is your day going? I am assuming you are on watch." She said softly.

"Yes unfortunately but it is a sailor's duty. I am just making my rounds until two then I have to be up on the bridge until four."

Amanda smiled then looked back down at the deck. Her slippers were no justice to her freezing toes.

"Since you are up, would you like to have a cup of tea with me since that beautiful voice of yours made me drop my first cup? You have to be cold Miss Spencer." He said.

Her ears seemed to perk up when she heard him address her, she had thought that maybe he had forgotten her name after earlier in the day. It made her feel warm inside.

"I would love to but you have to call me Mandy." She commented then touched his shoulder lightly.

He looked down at her touching him and he felt a pang.

"You have a deal Mandy. Call me Will." He grinned.

She shut her eyes and smiled. "Will." She opened her eyes.

He offered her his arm and they headed into the ship to the officers' mess.

"Is it alright if I am in here, I don't want to be of any trouble." Amanda said as he led her to a couch.

"No, not at all, besides no one is awake at this hour unless something drastic is going on."

Amanda's heart skipped. _If only you would know what I know..._ She thought. The same nauseating feeling started to rear its head again.

"I can make the tea if you want since you were nice enough to invite me." She changed the subject.

William placed his cover on the top of the couch. "Nonsense I can do it. You just sit there and relax and I will be back momentarily." He smiled.

She exhaled hard as she was left alone in the dim lit room. The burden she had on her back of knowing what was going to happen in the next few days was eating her up, but she knew that she couldn't tell anyone. People would think she was crazy and have her locked away without the key. She then silently told herself to stick with her plan, to either be there at the right time, or to find a way to survive. After all she was a woman and she had the upper hand, but on the same token, her feelings for Will had her original plan altered. She wanted him alive. She had only a few short days to come up with another idea.

The wardroom was empty except for the both of them. She could hear him in the back tinkering with teacups and such. Her stomach was now churning with butterflies and flying saucers. This was so cliche. Her thoughts of what would happen in that room went through her mind...

" _What will I say to him? What is if he wants to know my background? Should I tell him what is going to happen? I don't know what to do! I've never been alone with an older guy before...should I make the first move? No you whore! Mama made you promise her on her death bed that you would save yourself for true love or marriage!"_

Amanda's mind went 100 miles a second. She could feel her heart wanting to fly out of her chest and out into the sea. This moment seemed to good to be true, it seemed like the odds of her winning the lottery was more in her favor than this.

She seemed a little naked in her present state. Her nightgown underneath her thick dress robe seemed to be intimate of its time. She tied the sash a little tighter to maintain some modesty. She hoped Will didn't get the wrong impression; she wasn't planning on getting caught outside.

She heard footsteps from behind her, she tucked her hair behind her ears and turned her head and saw that will was on his way with two cups of steaming tea. She turned back around and took a deep breath.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting." He sat down beside her and laid their tea on the table in front of them.

"Thank you for taking the time to make this. You are very nice." She managed to say as she picked her cup up and blew the steam before putting the tea to her lips.

"So I have a bit of a confession to make, I was a bit jealous when I saw you and Lights earlier. He can be a bit um, well a -

"Ladies man?" She interrupted.

"Yes. I have known the man for a while now and every time he is away from his wife, he can be seen talking to various women." He took a sip of his tea.

"Well I had fallen ill earlier today, I had went out to explore and look around the ship and I had gotten sick behind one of the lifeboats. He came to my aid and offered me a bite to eat since I was so lightheaded." She explained.

There was a moment of silence between the both of them.

"So tell me a little bit about yourself Mandy."

This was one of the moments she had dreaded. " _Time to improvise."_

 _"_ Well I am from America. South Carolina to be exact. My father and I moved to New York after my mom died. You know to make a "fresh start". I just turned 22 last month. I was in England going to college. Now I am going back home to try and pick up where I left off."

William listened as he took sips of his tea.

"I want to be a historian. You know, be in museums and such."

"That is wonderful! When did you turn 22?"

"March 1st. When is yours?"

He chuckled. "The day before yours. February the 28th."

She knew from what she read all about his biography. She enjoyed playing stupid.

"Well every four years though yours is two days before mine you know. That would be pretty wild. Being born on February 29th."

He abruptly changed the subject. "So tell me, you don't seem like other women I have met before."

"You mean my skin color?"

He nodded.

"I am half Native American and half Caucasian. My father met my mom when he was traveling across the country. She was Cherokee. They fell in love and got married, and here I am."

He smiled. "You have a very beautiful disposition as well."

She shifted in her seat. His eyes were so beautiful in the dim light of the room.

"You aren't disgusted?"

He froze. "What do you mean?"

She cleared her throat. "I have been known to get cruel looks and sometimes cruel remarks about my origin. I am not like the others on here. All porcelain and delicate."

He shifted closer to her. "You are an angel. When I stormed in here earlier today all upset and angry and saw you sitting at the table with Lights, I was drawn to you. You have this aura, if you want to call it that. I do apologize for how I did act in your presence. It was not in my character to do so and I hope you can forgive me. When I did hear you sing just now, it made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time. You just had this way about you."

She couldn't help but blush and look down. He took his hand and gently held her chin up to meet his eyes. "What was the song about Mandy?"

Her nerves, veins, everything felt like they were on fire. She couldn't help but close her eyes briefly to relish the feeling of his rough hand touching her.

"It is just a song I love, to me it is about a man who treats a real good woman poorly. At least that's how I interrupt it." She looked up at him.

His blue eyes were so pure, and at the same time looked like they have seen many things. He was nearly forty after all and a seafarer.

"Will, I have a confession to make to you..." She fidgeted with the sash of her robe. Her heart pounding.

"When I was up on the brow and I made my way up to you to enter the ship, I couldn't help but notice how sweet and handsome you were. You see, I am not one that easily fancies other men. You can say I am very picky."

Will listened on.

"I feel like I have known you forever, and for the first time, you are the only man, other than my father that I am comfortable being around and that scares me." She turned to him. "You are a Sailor, and I am sure most sailors have certain needs that have to be met when they are away from home for so long and-

"Are you accusing me of trying to take advantage of you Amanda?" He asked with a soft, raspy voice.

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No no, I mean I didn't want to give you the wrong impression. I don't look like a porcelain doll or some pristine upper class society girl and out of my fears, that would have given you the impression-

He interrupted her by giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek. She froze in anxiety and in arousal.

He took her hands into his and looked her square in the eyes. "You are NOTHING like those high society girls. That is what makes me drawn to you. You are so smart, your voice is so beautiful, you are independent and strong. Tell me, has your father promised you to another man?"

She grinned warmly at him. "I am 22 years old, I have my own goals and dreams. He doesn't hold me by a leash. He lets me make my own decisions and stands back and lets me make my own mistakes. You can say I am a rolling stone, but I have gathered my fair share of moss. I have only been courted twice. _I_ _n her world, she had only ever dated two guys. The last one being in her senior year of high school. Their relationship was beginning to really blossom until she had to leave for Italy. If things were different, that guy would have probably of been her first, because they were beginning to fall in love with each other. But life had its way of shaking things up._ She thought. "So no, I will be returning home and hopefully go travel the country."

His grip on her hands tightened a little bit and he took his other hand and combed it through her thick, brown waves.

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She wanted him to kiss her. Her mind was doing cartwheels _PLEASE KISS ME. Cut this tension. It is like a tightrope._

He seemed to read her mind because his face got closer to hers and in turn, hers moved forward. His lips gently massaged hers. She could still feel his hand in her hair. She scooted over to him and felt him start to slowly deepen the kiss. His hand moved from her hair to cup her face gently. She returned the same and cupped his face with her hands. She let out a quiet moan as she began to feel what seemed to be his tongue start to invade her sweet mouth. She tasted like milk and honey.

Suddenly she became a bit frightened and stopped them abruptly. She panted and then scooted back on the sofa. William looked at her in concern.

"Are you alright? I didn't mean to frighten you." He had a bit of panic in his voice.

She got up and then looked at the wall. He got up and walked over to her. "What's the matter Mandy?"

She turned around with tears in her eyes. "That was so surreal and I am sorry, it just got me emotional." She looked down.

He put his hands on her shoulders. "I am beginning to fall for you Amanda Spencer. I know this is so quick and so sudden, but I want to protect you, I want to be there for you. I want you to sing for me." He chuckled. "I am honorable and a gentlemen. Like you, I too feel like we have known each other for a long time and I want to get to know you."

She looked up at him and smiled. She caressed his face. "You have a deal William."

He bent down and kissed the corner of her mouth. "How about dinner instead of luncheon? I go on shift at ten so dinner would give me time to sleep."

She nodded. "I need to get some sleep and you need to get back to work before you end up in the brig." She laughed. She then started for the double doors.

"How do you know so much about Naval terminology?" He chuckled.

She turned around. "I know some things. See you tomorrow Officer Murdoch." She winked.

 **NOTES: Song in chapter, _Never Thought I'd See the Day by Sade._ Credit to Sade. **


	7. Balls and Brawls

**_OBLIGATORY NOTICE: I ONLY OWN MY OWN CHARACTERS AND NOT THE CHARACTERS IN THE 1997 MOVIE TITANIC_**

 **CH 6**

 **BALLS AND BRAWLS**

Mandy crawled back into bed with a blissful and giddy grin. She couldn't believe in her wildest dreams that this was happening. She knew in her heart of hearts that this was love, her being here was a gift and her ultimate goal while still afloat, was to spare her life and his. She now didn't want to go back to her time in life, she didn't care about home anymore. To think that this would be a dream would shatter her if she were to wake up from it. However, she very much conscious and aware; it was as apparent as the nose on her face. She laid there in the darkness looking up at the ceiling. Sleep was a million miles away; her heart was still beating strongly, the adrenaline was still coursing through her veins. She felt like she was truly in paradise.

The more she did think of her present situation, however, she began to fear that maybe this was too good to be true. Things were happening fast; from the time she boarded and seeing him in the flesh to them sharing their first kiss in the mess and he wanting to court her was starting to make her think that she was going to fall hard. She had never been in anything truly serious as far as relationships were concerned; sure she wanted a steady boyfriend and possible husband but her common sense knew that things take time to develop. During the time he spent kissing her and hearing the sweet words spoken to her, her mind went to thinking very deep things. The main thing was the experience of making love to a man for the first time. Her mother before she died told her to wait for love, to wait for the one man who truly returned the feelings she would feel that would be of love. That promise was one of frustration many times in her life, especially when she was in high school and going into college.

They would have dinner later that day and she would simply explain her feelings. She didn't want to give off the wrong vibes or make him think that she was easy. She felt like a majority of men have alternative motives and angles; but with Will, she knew in her gut he was genuine. The sight of his kind face made her heart melt. She smiled warmly at the thought of his blue eyes looking into hers.

Mandy turned over and tried her best to get a few hours in of sleep before breakfast...

William walked up to the bridge and looked out into the horizon as dawn started to light up the sky. His thoughts throughout the night was on Amanda; to him he felt like she had awakened him and brought his schoolboy side out. He couldn't help but admit to himself that the attraction at first was merely physical seeing her for the first time, but after getting to hear her sing, and listen to her views on life while they were in the mess, he was attracted to all of her. She was not like the other women he had met, courted, or even married; he was married to a woman named Ada, who unfortunately succumbed to Typhus and died. He had never thought of getting involved again, but two years was long enough.

"Good morning Will." A voice called out behind him.

Will turned around. "Morning Lights, what are you doing up?"

"Thought you knew, Lowe and me switched so that he can be under you for his qualifications." Lights brought Will some tea.

Will rolled his eyes and took the teacup from his friend.

"Quiet night?"

Will nodded. "For the most part." The thought of Mandy's singing never left his mind.

"So Moody told me that you were away for a while, that you were making rounds but it was longer than usual. You weren't trying to catch a nap again were you?" Lights asked with a slight chuckle.

That got Will's attention. _Think of something fast..._

"There was some wave activity last night and I just wanted to be extra cautious and more thorough is all." He shut his eyes and cursed himself at his weak excuse.

"You were always a poor liar." Lights laughed.

Will turned to him. "Yeah that is true." With a sigh.

He silently hoped that the subject was dropped. The sun was starting to rise over the horizon, turning the sky into a light purple and pink. _If only she was here to witness this with me._ Will thought to himself. It was a rather gorgeous sunrise and he envisioned himself and his angel sitting on a beach watching it in each other's arms. He smiled at the thought.

"So are you and Miss Spencer still going to have lunch today?" Lightholler asked.

This broke Will out of his daydream. "Dinner actually. I am meeting her outside the Second Class dining room at six." He turned to his friend.

"So you beat me to the punch yesterday. I am quite attracted to her."

Will's face hardened.

"But then again it is just dinner. I am sure she accepted your offer because she was being nice." Lights looked over at Will and noticed his change in mood.

"You alright old chap?"

"Just so you know, last night I got to talking to Miss Spencer. I saw her while making my hourly rounds; she was singing and you should have heard her, she was just perfect. I then invited her for some tea we ended up talking about our backgrounds and such."

Lights continued to listen.

"I am in love with her and she reciprocates those feelings." Will turned to look him in the eye. Lights looked dumbfounded.

"You can't be serious Murdy! You hardly know her and how can you even think love happens within 24 hours? And an American girl at that? I'm sure your family would be thrilled." Lights exclaimed.

Will took a step back. "What does her being from America have to do with anything?"

"I am just saying Will after Ada died you swore off anyone else, and then less than two years later you fall for some half-breed who is probably after something or has a fancy for sailors like us." Lights then turned and walked back into the guardhouse.

William felt his blood boil at the foul name his friend called Amanda. He walked up behind Lights and pulled his arm to make him turn around.

"How dare you call her _THAT_! You do not know anything about her. For once in my life I want to be happy and be with someone I choose, not because of my family's expectations. For your information Charles Lightholler, she is half Indian and half white, her family heritage is a proud one. I know because I have learned about it before. I don't go around saying such vile, ignorant things like you do because of lack of knowledge. Mandy is not some common trollop or whore. She has a beautiful heart and mind and outer beauty as well. She knows what she wants in life and when we dock in New York, I want to ask her father for permission to see her."

Charles' nostrils flared.

"And on another note, there is a such thing as love at first sight. Pure, uncomplicated love. You just want her for your own gratification; you may be my friend but there is one big difference between the pair of us and rank is NOT what I am talking about. My intentions are honorable." Will looked him in the eye like a cobra about to strike.

"Sod off!" Charles yanked his arm out of Will's grasp and walked out of the guardhouse. The quartermaster looked over at Will with a look of confusion.

"Is there something you need?" Will asked uncharacteristically brash.

The Quartermaster shook his head quickly to indicate "no" and looked forward.

Will sighed and started for the door to go down into his stateroom. "Pardon my temper." He patted the quartermaster's hand before shutting the door behind him.

"Amanda are you awake in there?" Sara peeped her head in Amanda's room. She found her friend obviously asleep sound with the sheets in a rumpled heap at the foot of the bed.

Sara sighed and walked over and shook Mandy's shoulder gently.

"Wha what?" Mandy turned her head to look at Sara.

"Just wondering when you were going to get up. It is nearly 10 you know!" Sara said sharply.

Amanda rolled her eyes and sat up. "Sorry, I couldn't get to sleep at all last night. What is the deal with you?"

Sara crossed her arms. "I didn't like to eat all by myself. Besides you missed out on some really good food."

Mandy ignored her and got out of the bed and walked over to her wash basin and poured some water into the bowl to wash her face.

"I was wanting to know if you wanted to go to the ball tonight? John asked me if I could accompany him."

Mandy looked into the mirror at Sara. "Ball? What ball?"

"There is a ball to celebrate the maiden voyage tonight up in First Class. We were both invited by John." Sara said gleefully.

Mandy reached over the table to grab her hand towel. "How did he pull that off exactly?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sara we are Second Class passengers. John is simply a steward. How could he have possibly got us into a First Class dance?" Amanda walked over to her wardrobe and fingered through her dresses to pick one out for the day.

"It is on the First Class decks and his good friend is friends with the Captain and John mentioned me and he didn't want to hurt your feelings by not inviting you with me." Sara explained.

 _Well that was certainly nice of him to think of me..._ Amanda thought sarcastically.

"What time will it be?" Amanda picked out a dress of lavender.

"It is supposed to be at eight tonight. I am expecting that there will be caviar and escargot and other fancy things."

Amanda shut the wardrobe door behind her. "I do not like all that you said. I will just settle for some champagne." She smiled.

"Caviar is rich food! Wouldn't you feel like royalty if you ate some? I sure wish I was in First Class." Sara laid back on Mandy's bed.

She turned around. "Sara, caviar is fish eggs and escargot are snails. You aren't missing anything. Trust me."

"Well lunch is soon, want to go?" Sara asked.

"Let me get dressed and ready for the day and I will meet you at 11:30."

Sara got up from the bed and went over to Mandy's wardrobe. "I should pick you out something to wear for tonight. Something that will make the men fawn over you." She giggled.

"I got something in mind, trust me. See you in a little bit, alright?" Amanda was starting get annoyed by Sara's presence.

Sara seemed to get the hint as she watched her head for the door. "See you soon." She shut the door behind her.

As Amanda was fumbling with the numerous buttons on her dress, she looked over at her open wardrobe. She walked over and noticed a black and green party dress that had lace and satin. The neck line was low but modest as well. She felt the fabric and instantly decided that was the one she would wear to the ball. She couldn't help but wonder if Will would show up or even if he knew about it in the first place. She went to the closet and eyed her numerous shoes and noticed a pair of black heels with beads on them. Amanda smiled to herself. She was actually excited to go now that she had decided on an outfit.

"Oh Sara! You look so lovely!" John exclaimed as Sara did a twirl before him to show off her dress. It was a royal purple satin gown with gold. Her hair was up in a tight bun. Her cheeks were crimson from slight shyness as he continued to admire her.

"Where is your friend?" He asked.

"Oh she is probably still figuring out what to do with her hair." She laughed.

Inside her room, Amanda was sitting at the vanity applying the last of her makeup. Her dress was more of a mermaid type of style; the dress showed off her flawless back and her bottom was perfectly defined by the fabric. She braided her hair into a french braid and she left it hanging off her shoulder. In all honesty, she wanted to get the dance over with, like a trip to the Dentist's office. She would essentially be the third wheel since she didn't know whether Will was going to be present.

After one last look in the mirror, she grabbed her clutch bag and turned to leave. She opened the door to find John and Sara standing in the passageway waiting.

"You look absolutely divine Mandy!" Sara gasped. John was speechless.

"I try, what can I say?" Amanda said.

"There is no trying with you, you are so naturally lovely." Sara said.

"Well I have to return the sentiment, that purple looks real nice against your skin."

Sara smiled ear to ear. "Well I guess we ought to be heading up there then?" She looked up at John.

"Yes, I will lead the way." He offered Sara his arm and Amanda followed behind them.

They turned the corner and found the elevators. "Good evening, you ladies look very lovely." The elevator operator said.

They got off on the elevator and found themselves outside the First Class dining room.

"Oh my goodness! Look how fancy it looks!" Sara exclaimed. Amanda rolled her eyes.

John went up to the doorman and whispered something into his ear. The man smiled and shook his hand. John then motioned for the girls to come inside the banquet hall.

After an hour of being at the ball, Amanda was getting bored. She had already drank three glasses of champagne, danced with two men who she thought were too big for their britches, and was getting annoyed to no end with Sara's constant flirting and schoolgirl behavior towards John. She got up from the table she shared with the two, and headed to find a powder room.

Before she got to the doors, two men both in tuxedos walked in, Captain Smith, and to Amanda's delight, Will. Her heart stopped at the sight of Will in his tux. He looked so dashing and debonair, like someone from a swanky romance novel. They both walked up to what looked like to be Mr. Astor and his wife. She couldn't move from her spot, she watched Will's mouth every time he spoke. Amanda couldn't help but feel amorous; he was gorgeous. He laughed at something Mr. Astor said then suddenly caught Amanda's eyes. His face turned into a state of amazement. She suddenly felt like her legs were jello; he politely excused himself and walked over to Amanda.

"Will." She said softly. He went over to her and put his mouth to her hear. "Let's get out of here. I have the night off."

She smiled up at him and took his hand. They left the hall and went down a short passageway and went outside. Surprisingly, it wasn't as cold as the previous night. The stars and moon were once again bold and bright. They came across an area that was labeled "Staff Only" and led her to a lounge seat. He sat down beside her.

"You look so beautiful." He said.

She looked over at him and smiled. "You don't clean up bad yourself."

"How long were you in there before I arrived with the Skipper?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "A little over and hour, I was on my way to escape and you then you walked in."

He nodded with a chuckle.

Amanda sat there and stared up at the sky.

"Will, do you think we are moving a little too fast?"

"What do you mean?" He looked over at her.

She turned to him. "I am in love with you and it scares me. I know what you told me was true, and I know you would never hurt me. I keep thinking of you in different ways, and some of the ways I do think of you and I are very...um. Well..." She immediately blushed.

Will got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. "Mandy, I will leave you alone if you need me to."

She got up. "No, I don't want you to. I want you to love me." _I would never do this in a million years..._ She thought to herself.

He walked up to her and dipped down and planted a soft kiss upon her lips. She opened her eyes and put her arms around his neck.

The music from the ball had them start to dance a little bit. He wrapped his arms around her hips and she laid her head on his chest. She breathed in his scent, it was a combination of salt, some cologne, and sweat. She wanted to ravish him.

As they continued to dance, they heard other footsteps.

"Hey look it is Murdy and his new piece." Lightholler said with a laugh.

Amanda broke the embrace and turned around to acknowledge Lightholler. He was with another officer, one she did not recognize.

"Is this the girl you were talking about? The half-breed? The other officer asked. This made Amanda's blood boil.

"Pittman how dare you!" Will snared.

Pittman looked over at Will with wide eyes.

"Lightholler, did it ever occur to you that you have a loud mouth. Spreading gossip about the ranks. This is beginning to piss me off." Will said.

Amanda spoke up. "You know it sounds to me that you are jealous Mr. Lightholler."

He looked at her and glared. "Me jealous? Why would I ever be jealous of someone who wants to be with low class garbage like you? You will never be better than Ada." He then put his hand up to his mouth. "Oh, didn't you know? Murdoch is widowed."

Amanda looked at Will then back at Lightholler. She could feel tears stinging her eyes. She went up to Lightholler and punched him upside the jaw. Pittman gasped and ran away.

She turned around to look at Will who had a grin on his face then it suddenly disappeared when he saw Amanda's face. She had tears streaming down her face.

"Amanda.." He reached out to her but she ran past him.


	8. Explanations

**CH 7**

 **EXPLANATIONS**

Amanda kept a steady pace while returning to the First Class hall. She wasn't going back to pretend to be something she wasn't; she wanted to take a couple of bottles of wine to take back to her room.

As she was on her way back, many emotions and thoughts raced through her mind _"Too good to be true! How was I so blind and dumb to not see this. Sailors are and always will be fucking pigs! And who would of thought that Lights would be so vile? He seemed to be good people from what I read and seen. Something's got to give!"_

She opened the hatch and closed it behind her; she arrived at the doors of the hall and saw the same man from before.

"Is John and Sara still in there?"

He nodded and opened the door for Amanda. She smiled briefly and walked in.

People were dancing, eating, and enjoying the scenery. She wanted to move briskly, yet carefully to the back kitchen area, to hopefully score a bottle or two. She couldn't get to the kitchen area without people either getting in her way or various servers offering her some sort of food or drink. She then ducked behind someone moving a tray and tried her best to move beside it. The waiter rolled the tray through a door into what looked to be the scullery.

Amanda had to be quick in her actions. She looked around and tried to find a cabinet or bar of some sort. She then eyed a box, the box had only a few bottles in it and they were corked. She picked a bottle up from the box and saw that it was champagne, and it also happened to be dry, which she didn't like but beggars couldn't be choosers. She looked around and grabbed another bottle then dashed from the kitchen and into the hall. She continue for the French doors and then ran into something hard.

The hard object moaned. She looked up.

"Amanda!" Will tried to touch her face. She whipped her head away and walked past him.

"We need to talk." He said behind her as he followed her.

She continued to the elevators. "C Deck please."

He got on and she rolled her eyes. "Amanda, Lights didn't mean what he said."

"Lights is lucky he has both his testicles." She muttered.

The elevator attendant burst out in laughter. Amanda and William looked over at him and glared. He immediately became quiet.

The elevator came to a halt and they both stepped out. She turned around.

"Are you going to follow me all the way to my room?" She exclaimed.

William noted the bottles of champagne in her arms.

"Can you just give me the bloody chance to explain to you some things! Please!" He yelled.

She took a step back. This was a complete 180 degree turn from his usual gentle self.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Sorry."

She looked at him. "Listen, I shouldn't have hit him and all that now that I think about it. Also, I really hope you don't get in any trouble on account of me."

He cupped her cheek. "Don't you worry about him. He will be dealt with."

"Will, I was embarrassed, insulted, and called something that makes me feel like I have been stabbed." She took the champagne from his arms. "I want to just forget about tonight." She put one of the bottles on her dresser and started to twist the neck of the other.

"Amanda don't put yourself through hell because of his blatant ignorance and jealousy. You are smarter than that. Someone as strong as you would just ignore everything he said." He sat down at the edge of her bed.

"Well I have a good question to ask, how in the world did he ever get the impression that you and I are involved?" She arched her eyebrow.

He looked up at her and beamed with pride. "Because I told him."

"Why?"

"He had his sights set out for you. I wanted to dodge that, for the sake of us Mandy. Did I do something wrong?"

She popped the cork and took a glass from her cupboard. She then noted a white jacket at the top shelf. She tilted her head to get a better glance and then it came to her that it was a life jacket. A huge chill came through her and it made her drop her glass. Will shifted over to see what the noise was.

"These glasses are just so slippery." She said with a nervous chuckle.

She poured herself a glass and then turned to him. "You want some? I mean you do have the night off." She extended the opened bottle to him.

He nodded. "Yes sure. How did you get the champagne?"

"I don't give any secrets out. So, going back to Lightholler, you needn't worry. I can tell him to go away if he were to ever try to pull some sort of advance towards me." She said matter of fact like. She couldn't help but think about the real life Lightholler. _He was a gentle type. How in the world could he be so mean? Maybe he had some sort of underlying jealousy issues. Perhaps he is insecure?_

"I am just looking out for you is all."

"Well I want you to look out for your career, you are a First Officer, and I don't want you to jeopardize your opportunity to advance. Just think you could be a skipper one day and you would be a good one at that too." She smiled.

Will crossed his arms and chuckled. "You seem to know a lot about the life of a sailor."

She blushed and gulped the contents of her glass. "Just comes naturally I suppose. Look, just try to make peace with him. For your sake. Maybe he will come around and eventually apologize. I am a big girl, I am not going to dwell on tonight."

Will stood up and walked over to her. She looked up at him and smiled gently. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, while threading his fingers through the hair that escaped her braid. The kiss began to deepen as she became a little bold and held the back of his head gently. She opened her mouth slightly to allow him to deepen the kiss even more. She suddenly started to feel a warmth start to pulsate in her loins and it made her stop in her tracks.

Will's eyes fluttered open. "What's the matter?" His voice raspy with lust.

She looked down and then back up at him. "I...I think we need to stop. I don't want to give you the wrong impression."

"Mandy, you aren't. I don't want you to stop." He whispered. His thumb brushed her bottom, pout lip.

"I love you." She managed to slip out. She suddenly covered her mouth. She broke out of his embrace and grabbed the bottle and poured another glass. He then grabbed her arm and she dropped the bottle. He turned her to face him and he covered her mouth with his. She whimpered in his embrace. He scooped her up and held her tight against his form. She could feel her heart start to race and heat radiate throughout her pores.

"I love you Amanda Spencer." He said between kisses.

She opened her eyes and felt a tear roll down her cheek. "No one has ever said that to me. I don't know what to believe."

He sat her down on her feet. "What do you mean?"

She walked over to her bed and sat down. "This. I feel like I am dreaming. This isn't supposed to be happening." She started to feel beads of sweat form on her forehead. "I am in love with you and I hardly know you and the scary part is that I know it's real." She looked over at him.

A warm smile came across his lips.

"Listen, I need to get out of this fancy, yet uncomfortable dress. Do you mind if I changed?" She stood up.

There was a knock on the door.

"You in there?" Sara asked.

"Damn it." Mandy muttered under her breath. Will's eyes widened.

Mandy put her finger to her lips to signal to Will not to say anything. She was glad she locked her door.

"Mandy, if you are in there, John and I are going to a stroll. I don't want you to worry. See you in the morning."

Will and Mandy remained silent a few moments until Sara was completely gone.

She rolled her eyes. "I am going to be in my bath-um powder room."

He nodded. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. As she gathered her night clothes from her closet she turned around.

"What was it that you wanted to explain to me?"

He cleared his throat. "Change first and we can talk. If you are still interested."

"I am. Maybe I can get some insight after all." She then left Will alone in her room.

She walked back into her room and saw that some candles had been lit. She looked over at Will who sat in her rocking chair with a glass of champagne. He looked up at her and his eyes became fixated at her present state. Her hair was down and in its waves from her braid. She wore a dark blue robe with matching slippers. Her lighter blue nightgown hung a little past the bottom of the robe. She looked around the room and wondered where the candles came from.

He seemed to read her mind; he stood up and put his glass down. "These are actually emergency candles in the event of an emergency." He said with a bit of nervousness in his voice.

"I thought we were going to talk." She walked over to him.

He grabbed her hand. "Yes, it is true I was married, her name was Ada. She died a couple years ago from Typhus."

She looked up at him. "You know you really don't have to tell me this, it is none of my business, it is your past and I don't want you to go through the pain of having to talk about it." She walked over to her bed and sat down.

"You also don't need to explain anything to me just to prove a point." She added.

"Lights isn't like this at all. I don't understand why he is being so vile." He walked over to her and sat down beside her.

She looked at him. "He is acting out. I will go to him tomorrow and talk to him."

In the candlelight, she could note the bewilderment in his eyes.

"Mandy he insulted you, made you cry! Surely you don't mean to give him the satisfaction by"-

"What time will he be on watch tomorrow?" She interrupted.

"I think sometime in the later afternoon. I relieve him afterwards."

She looked around. "So what is with the romantic atmosphere? Couldn't we have our talk in better lighting?"

"I wanted to make up for earlier. There really isn't anything to discuss about my past. I was married for a few years before Ada got sick. We never had any children. We lived a normal married life, except for my being out to sea. Being a sailor has its leaps and bounds. The fact that Lights would ever bring her up to bring you down hit me hard because well she was a good woman."

Amanda listened on.

"I talked to him earlier this morning before I got done for the day and I told him my feelings for you. He was very shocked that I developed feelings so quickly, which is no surprise. He tried to talk them down to just being mere infatuation because I haven't been with a woman in so long after Ada. I don't know whether he said those things to deter me from you because of my parents' expectations of me or because he wants you all for himself." He chuckled lightly. "I do believe in love at first sight Amanda. I do love you, and yes, I know it may be ludicrous because we just met but I do."

She smiled and reached up to caress his face. "And I you William. I have the moment I saw you. On the brow, my having trouble talking when you took my ticket." She giggled.

She then turned serious. "I do have things I need to get off my chest..."


	9. Lost in Feeling

_OBLIGATORY NOTICE OF NON-COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT: I only own my own characters._

CH8

LOST IN FEELING

"I have something I need to get off my chest..."Amanda's playful glint in her eyes suddenly turned bold and serious.

She heaved a sigh. _"It is now or never..."_ Her mind and heart raced.

Will cocked his head to the side in concern. "What is the matter?" He held her hand.

She closed her eyes, a tug of war had started in her conscience and in her heart. The atmosphere that the candles had produced, along with the feelings she harbored for him from seeing the movie, and then there in the flesh, made her want to tell him what exactly she had wanted at that moment. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"Do you have binoculars for the lookouts?" She managed to blurt out.

Will let go of her hand. "What in the world possessed you to ask _that_?"

She looked away and silently cursed herself.

"Will, please tell me you all got some before we left Ireland."

His eyes widened. "Why are you so worried about binoculars?" Will grabbed her hand once again.

His hand was so warm and it made it hard to concentrate on yet another lie to think of to say to him. She looked at him and and cupped his face with her other hand. "I am silly I guess." She said with a small laugh. "I can be paranoid sometimes."

"Are you worried about icebergs?" He stroked the top of her hand with his thumb.

She started to get hot all of a sudden from what she thought was adrenaline and the inevitable feelings of lust that were also coursing in her veins. The velvety robe she wore was not of any help and she wanted to take it off that very moment but the inner conflict she felt inside prevented her from doing so. The inner conflict of not wanting to give William any wrong ideas.

"Are you ill? You are flushed all of a sudden." He put a hand to her brow.

"Sorry, I have to take this robe off." She quipped. Her gown underneath was thick, cotton, and white. It came down to her knees; in her time, she felt like it wouldn't be such a big deal to be around a guy dressed only in a clad nightgown, but at that time, she felt naked. A part of her didn't care, she was burning from desire and fear. Fear from her blowing her cover and letting out too much.

He picked her up and sat her down upon his lap. She was quite taken back by the bold gesture. He wrapped his arms around her waist; he was making her present state unbearable.

"Don't you worry love, this ship is strong, and my crew and myself have full faith in our Captain. He has so many years of experience and he would know what to do if any danger arises." He continued to look up at her. The girl was breathtakingly beautiful with her long brown tresses, tan skin, and one side of her gown hardly holding on to her shoulder. She looked like a heavenly vision.

She looked down at him and could see a reflection of candlelight in his eyes. She dipped down and kissed him gently. He reached up and his hands made their way into her hair, to start caressing her scalp. She then in turn wrapped her legs around him to straddle his form. He in turn deepened the kiss and his hands moved to her arms. The small flame she felt inside now ignited. She wanted this man, and she knew he wanted her. After a moment of their play, she could start to feel something hard pressing against her leg. She couldn't help it now, she _needed_ this man.

"William..." She cooed as she ran her hands down his back. He gently picked her up and in one fluid motion, he flipped her and laid her gently on the bed. His kisses began to travel from her pouty mouth, to the nape of her neck. He knew he must have hit a sensitive spot because she had whimpered slightly.

That was when she couldn't take what she felt was foreplay any longer...

"Will..." She cooed. "Take me now.."

This made him stop in his tracks. He opened his eyes and looked down upon her. Her eyes fluttered open, Will's eyes were clouded with lust, concern, love, and a whole other plethora of emotions she couldn't name. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Amanda, I am not rushing you am I?"

She was a little taken back. "What do you mean?"

He got up gently from her. "You know how I feel about you, and I know how you feel about me, I just don't want us to do something we will regret later." He caressed her face.

She looked into his eyes. "I know. I mean we have plenty of time." Inside, she felt frustrated.

She sighed. She knew this was an era that waiting until marriage was something that was essentially mandatory for women. Her mind emphatically agreed with William, her heart, not to mention hormones, however wanted her first time to be that very moment.

"When we get to America, I want to make this official with your father's blessing." He said softly.

She stood up and crossed her arms. "Waiting is so hard." She said with a frustrated like laugh. "My heart and brain aren't in agreement right now."

He stood up and took her into his arms. "God knows how much I want to make love to you, this very moment. I am aching to make you mine in every sense of the word." He looked down at her and lifted her chin.

"I want it to be special for you."

She smiled softly. "It already is. I am on the most beautiful ship in the world _doomed for disaster,_ She thought, and I am with the first man I have ever truly loved. I understand your concerns of my feelings but you have to understand my feelings of virginal frustration." She chuckled.

He bent down and kissed her chastely on the lips. "Thus why I want it to be special. I don't want it to be on a ship with people around. I want it to be after we have said our "I dos" in front of our family and friends. I want everyone in the world to know I will have married the most beautiful woman in the world. A woman who saw something in me that she fell in love with." He laughed.

She playfully smacked him in the shoulder. "Don't say such things!" She laughed. "You have plenty of good things to offer a woman!"

"I got to be up early, we have this new officer whom we picked up today. I have to show him around, while Lights gets his rest." William had some irritability in his voice. "I got to be up early then tomorrow night I have to be on the bridge for my normal shift. I better go love." He kissed her chastely on the lips.

"Go get your beauty rest. I am going to wash up." She said.

He in turn kissed her on the ear. "I love you, sweet dreams." He whispered then turned to leave.

She followed him to her door. "You know I am still going to talk to Lights. Whether you like it or not. He needs a stern talking to." She said.

He turned around. "If you think it will help. See you later love." He closed the door behind him.

She exhaled sharply and walked over to her wash basin.

"Amanda Spencer you open this door right now!" A voice came behind her powder room door.

She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door. Sara wasted no time bursting in.

"Yes?" Amanda asked with a bit of irritation.

"Why didn't you tell me you have been seeing someone?" Sara crossed her arms.

Amanda looked at her in shock. "I didn't think I was required to?" She asked.

Sara's mouth dropped. "I am your best friend!" She exclaimed then she began to pace around Amanda like a panther.

"We tell each other everything, you know about John and I."

Amanda walked over to her bed and sat down. "I have news for you, and before you say another word, I want you to hear me out. I am not like the best friend you had prior to us coming her, nor am I the same girl you thought you knew. Things have taken happened in the last 24 hours that has forever made a mark on me."

She continued on.

"You have no right to come barging in here thinking you have some sort of control over me. I am not like you, and I wonder how we even got to be best friends. We are complete opposites, yes opposites attract, but you are starting to piss me off to no end."

Sara's face became one of shock and absolute disgust.

"And yes, I have met someone, he is very kind, gentle, and nice. We enjoy each other's company very much. Just because you are smitten with someone and you burst at the seams to tell me, doesn't mean I have to return the sentiment." Amanda felt like the world was off her shoulders.

"Why are you talking this way to me?" Sara's voice cracked.

"Because you need to change your teenaged ways. If I didn't care, I wouldn't acknowledge it. You needed to hear the truth sooner or later, and I wasn't going to stand back and not give you the courtesy. I am not some high society, wannabe." Amanda got under her covers.

"A _wannabe_? What-?"

"It is someone who pretends to be someone that they're not. Like at the party last night for example." Amanda explained. _"Can you please leave?"_ She thought to herself.

"You know, don't even acknowledge me the rest of the time we are here! You are so mean and cruel Amanda Spencer. Your father will sure be thrilled to learn about this once you get home! To see his daughter go from a complete angel into some kind of harlot! Having a man in your room who is not your husband!"

Amanda got up from her bed and walked over to her "best friend".

"You need to go to your room before that pretty little face of yours becomes hamburger meat." Amanda spoke with an ominous tone.

Sara stepped back.

"The man you are speaking so badly of is someone near and dear to me." _Someone whose fate lies in my hands._ She thought.

"Pfff." Sara rolled her eyes. "A man you hardly know."

"Sara, you are one that shouldn't talk. I've known this man for a while. See, there _**are**_ some things you don't know."

Sara huffed then turned to leave. Slamming the door behind her.

Amanda turned over and felt a slight twinge of guilt, but at the same time, she could not help but feel liberated. She couldn't bring herself to telling her why she was not the same "best friend" prior to coming to Titanic without Sara accusing her of being mad and crazy. William in a way did help in opening herself up to show everyone who she really was and it was at that moment that the morsel of guilt went away and the first feeling of relief since being on the ship came across her.


	10. Illusions

**CH 9**

 **ILLUSIONS**

The morning came with what felt to Amanda like a freight train colliding in her head. She slowly opened her eyes and could barely make out where she was; the walls had a colorful pattern to them. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she then could see that the paint scheme had some sort of garden theme to it. There was various medical instruments in their places on the wall, she tried to move her arm but she was immediately overcome with pain and stiffness. She looked down and noticed her arm was wrapped and in a sling. She raised her left arm, and thankfully there wasn't any pain, but she felt a slight tug; leading from her left hand, there was a plastic tube that led to a large bag that hung on the side of her bed.

 _"What the hell?"_ She thought. She finally figured out she was in a hospital room; in modern day.

She tried to sit herself up, but she couldn't muster the strength. There was a beep, then a tightening of her unbroken arm; a blood pressure cuff automatically started to squeeze her.

"Hello?" She tried to speak but only could make out with a whisper.

Mandy struggled to figure out what was going on. Last she knew, she had kissed Officer Murdoch goodnight and then getting into a spat with Sara. She felt weak, her mouth was like a desert, and she was once again in an unfamiliar place.

" _The plane...it crashed. Am I alive?"_ She then thought of the plane going down on her way home.

"Dad? Anyone here?" She started to cry. "Will?!" Her dry throat made her sound like nails on a chalkboard.

The blood pressure cuff shut off, and she tried to maneuver her broke arm to take the cuff off. Only to be met with more pain.

"Dammit!" She hissed.

She looked around in her bed for a call button. The wand laid underneath her. She all but smashed the button.

"Help me..." She muttered.

She laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling too weak to sit up any longer.

A few moments later there was a knock on the door.

"Miss Spencer? You're awake." A deep, calm voice resonated in her ears.

She opened her eyes back up and saw a tall black male in scrubs standing at the foot of her bed.

"Doc...I..don't know where I am at..." She whispered.

"My name is Michael, I am the nurse on shift." He was very friendly.

She cleared her throat in a feeble attempt. "May I have some water?"

He walked over to the stand by her bed and filled a Styrofoam cup and put a straw in. He took his left hand to gently raise her head and with his right offered her the drink;she quickly sucked the liquid into her dry mouth.

"Slowly honey, take sips."

The water was a very welcomed treat. She started to feel like a wilted flower starting to come back to life.

"There was a plane crash." She muttered between sips.

"Yes, I know. You are one of the lucky ones. Welcome to Virginia. You were airlifted here by helicopter. Luckily there was a ship nearby, it was on its way to the Med. You are in Portsmouth Medical Center."

Her eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. "My father, his name is Dr. Captain Marcus Spencer. Did he live?

Michael sat her cup down and then proceeded to sit on the edge of her bed.

She saw on his ID tag that in his picture, he was in uniform. She narrowed her eyes to try and identify his rank.

"Lieutenant, can you raise my head please, so I can sit up some, I feel a little dizzy laying flat."

He lowered his hand by her bed and pressed a button to adjust the head of the bed and she went up about 45 degrees.

"You don't have to call me by my rank, just Mike. Your father, is in a coma. We had to put him in a medically induced coma because of the injuries he sustained." He gently explained.

She felt like the walls were closing in on her. She knew from growing up with her father, that whenever someone is in a coma, medically induced, it wasn't good.

"Sir, how bad was his injuries? He is all I have." She started to cry.

He sighed. "He had some brain swelling and the Doctor is afraid he could eventually herniate."

She started to cry even harder.

"Sshhh. He is in good hands. You on the other hand need to build your strength up."

"Sir, you don't understand, I don't know how I ended up here, I thought I was in 1912." She wept.

His confusion was evident on his face.

She looked up at him through teary eyes. "All I remember is the plane going down, and I was going for my oxygen mask and I then ended up on the Titanic."

"Miss Spencer, you have gone through quite a bit. You were probably dreaming." He patted her shoulder gently.

"You have a broken arm, your knee and ankle was severely sprained, and you got quite a bump on the head. I am going to leave for a moment to go tell the Doc you are awake. He will give you something to ease the pain and help you relax." He got up and headed for the door.

"Sir, how long was I out?" She muttered.

He turned around and smiled. "It's been about three days, try and relax as much as you can and the Doc will be here." He said gently then shut the door behind him.

She couldn't understand how she could have been dreaming. Everything felt real, from the moment she awoke in England, to the moment she had shut her eyes to go to sleep in her cabin. The confusion and shock of the situation made the pain in her body the last thing on her mind. If it was all just a dream, she never wanted to sleep again. The feel of Will's arms embracing her, the protection she had felt from those precious moments was something she wanted to go back to. She could feel fresh tears stream down her face; tears of the fact her father may not live, tears from the pain of her injuries, and most of all, the pain of never having really lived those moments onboard the ship. She even started to miss Sara.

"Amanda?"

Another man, peeked his head through the door. She looked up at him and from his appearance, she assumed him to be the doctor.

"How are you feeling?" The man came over to her bedside.

"I don't know." She sniffed. "I woke up not knowing where I was at, I don't know whether or not to believe this is real. I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I am hurting." She wept.

The man took a chair and pulled it over to sit down. "Well, for starters, my name is Dr. Ryan Green, I have been looking after you since you arrived here a few days ago." He had a slight southern accent, he was a dark-haired man with freckles.

"You survived a rather horrific accident. Lieutenant Hannigan told me that he explained to you your injuries, and I know you inquired about your father-"

"Yes, is he going to survive himself?" She interrupted.

"He sustained some rather frightening injuries. He is being tended to by Neurology." The doctor softly explained.

Amanda just stared down into her lap.

"The only thing I can tell you is they are doing the best they can. There is one doctor working with him, Captain Beth Carmichael. She probably one of the best neurosurgeons I have come to know, and she happens to know your father."

She looked up at him. "She is a girlfriend of mine's stepmother. I know who she is."

The doctor smiled warmly. "Small world. Well, in the meantime, I cannot make any promises on account of your father. Like I said, he is in some damn good hands. We need to work on getting you well. You have been receiving your nutrients through an IV. You were in a slight coma, going in and out." He explained. "I am going to have LT Hannigan come back in and get some vitals and I am going to order some pain medicine to help you relax. You aren't allergic to anything are you?"

She shook her head no.

"He will be back in here momentarily, but in the meantime, here is a master remote. It controls the TV, there is a call button, and it even has controls for the bed." He handed her the attached remote.

She took it from him. "Thank you, can I get something to eat? I am starting to get hungry." She quipped.

"First the vitals, then the nurse will have to change your bag." He sat up from the chair.

She looked down and then back up at him. "Bag?"

"You have a catheter inserted."

She looked down in mild embarrassment. "Sir, before you go, can you answer me this, what day is it?"

"It's Friday, the 26th." He replied. "I am going to go order your meds. Dinner is not until 1700, but it is close to 16, you want a popsicle?"

"That sounds pretty good, my mouth and throat hurts and so dry." She rubbed her throat.

"We'll hurry." He then walked out to the nurse's station, leaving the door open.

She couldn't help but gaze into the distance; as if she had a hard time trying to piece together being on Titanic, she had to accept the fact that it was nothing but a drug induced dream. Everything down to the smallest detail was all too real to her. She wondered how she would ever get through what she could only describe as heartache. The sad part was that the one person she could only think of was William, not her father. She would never forgive herself.

Moments came and went, and no one had come to check her or give her the pain meds. She turned the TV on and started to flip through the channels. She couldn't find any concentration to pay attention to whatever was on TV. Her mind was elsewhere and it was killing her inside. She heard footsteps and looked up. The nurse was back with a couple of things in his hand.

"I need to talk to you." He said with an irritated tone.

Amanda's eyes squinted. "What?"

"Wake up please and listen to me." He continued.

"What? What are you talking about Sir?" She asked.

Amanda's covers were ripped off of her. She flinched back and turned her head to the direction of the voice. The sleep in her eyes started to fade and she saw Sara standing by her bed. Amanda gasped and all but leaped out of the bed and took Sara into her arms. The momentum almost made Sara lose her footing.

"I am sorry too." Sara quipped with confusion. She put her arms around Amanda.

Amanda stepped back. "I am sorry, I had this horrific dream. I am so glad it wasn't real."

Sara chuckled. "What happened?"

Amanda pondered on what to say. "It doesn't matter. Please forgive me for last night."

"Of course I do. I do admit I was very brash. It was not my place to meddle in your privacy." Sara took Amanda into her arms.

Amanda felt the most relief she has ever felt in her life, but at the same time, the confusion of her being on Titanic came back. She had mixed feelings of being back and not being home. There had to be a reason she had such a profound dream. She could feel the pain of the injuries, she could feel the tears of angst, remorse, and pain of her father possibly being dead from the crash, but in her logic, she knew that no one could have survived it.

Even her.


	11. Now or Never

_****I only own my own characters, no thievery here****_

 **CH 10**

 **NOW OR NEVER**

Breakfast had come and went; Amanda decided to go back to bed for a little while, at least until lunch. It would work out since Sara said she would go and visit her new beloved in the sick bay. John somehow had gotten sick and would be laid up for a day or so. As Amanda fluffed up her pillows, the thought of her being "back" in her present surroundings both made her feel good and then more homesick at the same time. Of course, she still felt confused, but the dream made her confusion amplify. The only good thing about all of it was him, William. Her heart felt complete again; she knew in her heart that her father didn't survive. In a way, she felt she didn't survive the crash herself, how would she be in 1912 if she didn't live.

She was determined to go up to the bridge after her meal to talk to Lightholler and try and be as nice to him and inquire as to why he was so mean. In her readings and studies of the Titanic back in her college years, she only read of good things about the man. He seemed to have a reasonable disposition and was quite charming. This was nothing like the man who called her such unpleasantries. Nevertheless, her persistance and her determination would not let her falter; she wanted to ease any and all tension between not only him and herself, but most importantly, William. The two friends had now started to become enemies in a way; and she felt guilty because if she wasn't here, there wouldn't be any conflict or friction. She had to make things right...

Amanda had picked out a light green day dress and decided to wear her hair half up, pinned with a gemstone comb. The weather had been beautiful the entire early afternoon, and after her post lunch stroll with Sara, they both made their way to the Officer's promenade. She had discussed the whole debacle with her friend over lunch and asked Sara to accompany her for the moral support.

"So do you think this will work?" Sara linked her arm with Amanda's.

"Well we have one way to find out." They both walked up the short stairwell and shut the gate behind them. There was a sign on the gate"

 **OFFICER PROMENADE**

 **NO PASSENGERS PERMITTED**

"Amanda, we shouldn't be here." Maybe we should go back."

The sky was starting to go from a cool blue to different hues of orange and purple; she knew Lightholler would be relieved at dusk. The sunset was starting to look like a diamond starburst.

"It's alright, they know who I am and it won't be a problem. Stop worrying." The both walked up to the bridge and spotted Lightholler, and who looked to be Officer Moody. They were both laughing about things that Amanda wasn't able to hear to understand. She took a deep breath and let go of Sara and walked over to the both of the men.

The men turned around at the sound of heels.

"Miss, you can't be up here." Moody said in a kind voice.

Lightholler's eyes rounded. "Miss Spencer, what brings you here?" He asked.

"Good evening Mr. Lightholler, I need to talk to you, that is if you have a moment."

Sara stepped forward. Amanda turned to her. "Oh, pardon my manners, gentlemen, this is my good friend, Sara Matthews. She was just escorting me."

Lightholler and Moody both nodded and smiled in acknowledgement.

"Well, Officer Murdoch will be here in about an hour to relieve me, why don't we all get together then?" Lightholler asked.

Amanda looked down and then back up at him. She looked him square in the eyes.

"If you have nothing going on, I would prefer it to be now. I will make it short and sweet." Amanda wanted to get it over with.

Lightholler's body langauge shifted and she could see he was started to look anxious.

"I am not going to pretend that I forgot about the other night because it is still very much fresh in my memory, however, I am willing to forgive and hopefully forget as time goes on."

Amanda turned around. "Sara, I am ok, I probably won't be at dinner. Could you possibly save me a plate and bring it to my room?"

She smiled and nodded then turned to leave them alone.

"Miss Spencer, -"

"Let me finish Sir." She interrupted. "You and William have been friends for many many years, and I do not want that friendship to suffer on account of me. He had told me that you and he had discussed our current arrangement, and that was when his late wife was mentioned. Charles, he is free to do as he chooses. He deserves to be happy."

She noted his face began to soften. "I know Miss Spencer."

"It's Mandy, and I don't understand the hostility towards me that was displayed. What have I done, to be called something so egregious? If you are trying to preserve the memory of William's late wife, I understand but I have never been met with so much hate until last night. She passed years ago, he fell in love, and I am confident she would want him to be happy."

She paused to have him possibly respond.

"Hey Lights, I got to go help out one of the deck seamen, I won't be away long." Moody said then left the bridge.

Lightholler nodded to him. Amanda waited for any kind of retort, response, _anything_.

"Do you have anything at all you want to talk about?" She asked softly.

He looked away. "You didn't have to hit me in front of another officer."

Her jaw slightly dropped. "Well if you were in my position, wouldn't you want to deck someone if they called you a "Limey" or something else unpleasant? What I was called last night was like a kick in the stomach. If you are jealous of William because he got to me before you did, you can admit you know, I don't judge."

His face turned a slight crimson; it wasn't in anger, but in embarrassment.

"William seems to be a good judge of character and he chose you to be his best friend. Don't fuck that up." She felt a chill go up her spine. She slipped out a word she usually used but was frowned upon in this era.

Lightholler burst out in laughter. "What a mouth you have!"

She blushed hard and let out a laugh. "I am sorry, forget you heard that."

"No, no I am amused. Look, I am sorry, I was a little drunk last night and yes, I do admit I am a jealous person Amanda. When my jealously emerges, I say things that aren't very nice. I almost lost my wife to another man a few years ago because of it. Her brother had a friend who was very smitten with her. I had just proposed to her. He was proper, but it just bothered me whenever he was around her. One night, I had paid a visit to her before I left for sea, and I had been drinking. I accused her of being smitten with him and needless to say I called her some things that were far from proper. She told me to leave and to never come back."

"But you did. You need to focus on her. Not on me. I will always be your friend, that is if you want to." She looked up at him.

His features softened. He stuck his hand out. She smiled and took it.

"Well well well..." A voice behind them made Amanda jump.

She turned around and saw William in uniform and a grin on his face.

"Good evening Will. I would come and hug you but I would think fraternization if frowned upon." She said with a giggle.

"It's just Lights and us, come here." She held his arm out. She walked up to him and he wrapped his arm around her tightly. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Will, I want to apologize-"

Will held his hand up to stop Lights. "All is forgiven."

"We are like the Three Musketeers I suppose." Amanda spoke up. _God this is so awkward..._ She thought to herself.

The stars began to sparkle up in the sky. "Listen love, I need to get ready to get on watch. Would you like to accompany us to service in the morning? I will come by your stateroom at eight." William took her hand.

She looked up at him. "I would be honored."

"See you then." He kissed her on the cheek and mouthed "I love you."

She winked at him and then nodded to Lightholler. "Good night."

A knock came at the door as Mandy was finishing up with her hair. She twisted her locks into a loose bun and put the last couple of pins in to secure it.

"Coming!" She said as she applied the last of her makeup. She has picked out a dress of light yellow with little white flowers that were stitched alone the collar. As she looked into the mirror once more, she had a feeling of dread wash over her. Today was the final day that the Titanic would ever see daylight. She had no idea what to do and most importantly, she had to decide to speak up. She knew from the movie and the research, the time the collision would occur. In essence, she would not be falling asleep tonight.

She turned from the mirror and raced to the door. William smiled as she opened the door then suddenly frowned as he noted her face.

"What is the matter?" He touched her elbow.

In what seemed to be a faucet, her eyes brimmed with tears. She dropped her little matching handbag and jumped into his arms. She felt the emotions and her fear through the tears; it was like a dam had broken down and it felt good but it frightened Will.

"Amanda, what happened?" He pushed her back to look into her eyes.

Her crying had now eased to sniffles. "I got to tell you something and I don't know how to without being called crazy."

He listened on. "Will the ship is going to sink. You need to have the Captain tell Mr. Ismay that we must slow down." She felt like she was going to throw up.

She ran back into her room, reached under her bed to get her chamber pot and vomited. She was too embarrassed and too scared to face him again after what she had admitted. He walked into her room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to her and knelt down; he began to lovingly rub her back.

She looked up at him and then got up to grab a glass from her cupboard. She walked over to her wash basin and filled the glass with water. She swirled the water around in her mouth then picked the pot up and spit into it. She then shoved the pot back under her bed.

"What are you so afraid of?" He took her into his arms.

She shoved him softly away. "Will, what I am about to say is probably going to push you or scare you away." She hiccuped as she felt fresh, hot tears roll down her cheeks.

"I have these premonitions sometimes." She lied. "I have had them since I was a little girl. I usually dream things or maybe have these overwhelming feelings. These feelings can be good, like good things will happen, or bad. Almost every night since I have been onboard, I have done nothing but dream of this ship hitting an iceberg or collide with another ship."

Will just looked at her. She could feel the heat of embarrassment come over her.

"I don't know what to say." He got up.

She watched him as he began to pace. "I know it sounds crazy, but-"

"Amanda, you really need to calm down. I am going to leave. I got to get some rest." He walked towards her door.

She shot up from the bed and paced over to him. "Will, don't go, please I know this sounds crazy but it's true."

He looked at her and then kissed her softly on the cheek and shut the door behind him.

She stared at the door for what seemed to be an eternity. She felt like her world was starting to collapse.


	12. Familiar Faces

**CH 11**

 **FAMILIAR** **FACES**

Mandy punched the wall in frustration. She cared enough to let the cat out of the bag, but it came with a price.

"God damn it FUCK!" She yelled in anger and in pain from hitting the wall.

She started to think of ideas on how to get to the Captain or Mr. Ismay to try and convince them of what was ahead of them later that night. She started to pace the room while caressing her swollen knuckles.

She knew from the movie that both of the men were in divine services around this time; she would have gone with Will if she kept her mouth shut. She slowly realized that the chances of her ever having a future with him would be slim to none, both from her revelation, and if things were to go on as documented, he would lose his life later that night, going into the wee hours of the next morning. She decided to not pursue him from that moment on; he was currently asleep most likely, or possibly he went to divine services after all. He would go on watch that night and get the shock of his life.

The pain in her hand was getting worse; she couldn't move her fingers and her knuckles were bloodied and raw. She had no choice but to go to the sick bay. Tears started to fall from the corners of her eyes from the pain in her heart and hand. She opened and shut the door behind her and tried to find the sick bay.

She approached the elevator attendant. "Excuse me, could you be so kind and tell me where the sick bay is?" She attempted to smile meekly while hiding her hand behind her back.

"Yes Miss, it is a deck below us, I will be more than happy to take you." She got onto the elevator and watched as he closed the doors and then pulled the lever down.

"And how is your day going?" He asked. She looked up at him and grinned politely. "Just fair."

The elevator came to a halt and the attendant opened the doors for her. "Have a nice day Miss."

She didn't acknowledge him and instead started to slowly walk down the passageway to find the hospital. She felt like she was in a haze of some sort; everything seemed to slow down. A couple of men walked past her, one with a white coat on. She cradled her hand in her other and got to the double doors. A huge red cross was painted over both of the freshly painted white doors.

She stood for what seemed to be an eternity until a loud shriek broke her out of her daze.

"This hurts!" A woman screamed; moans had started to follow, then more screams. Amanda backed slowly away from the doors. Another voice accompanied the woman.

"You are doing fine, just a little bit more." Another woman had spoke in a calm voice.

It then occurred to Amanda that the screaming woman was in labor. This was a time where epidurals were not in use and a woman pretty much had to suffer. Of course, there were options available at the time, like chloroform, Ether, etc. But many woman had a lack of knowledge when it came to labor and delivery at the time.

Amanda swallowed hard and entered, the door slammed behind her, making her jump. The woman screamed once more and then light cries sounded. The baby had been born behind the blue curtain that separated the mother and child from the rest of the hospital floor. Amanda smiled as the other woman, whom Amanda assumed was a midwife or nurse announced that the baby was a girl.

She walked down to a small desk where a woman dressed in grey and white with a little white hat sat. The nurse was busy scribbling something down.

"Excuse me." Amanda walked up to the nurse. The nurse looked up and noted her hand.

"I hurt my hand up pretty badly and I was wondering if I may have some ice?"

The nurse got up and walked around the station. "What happened, love?" The nurse had a thick British accent and a gentle disposition.

"I..I..was in the gymnasium, I went to punch the punching bag and I missed and hit the wall." Amanda closed her eyes and silently cursed herself for what she felt was a pathetic lie.

The nurse looked up into Amanda's eyes. "You must be joking!" She said with a light laugh."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "It's the truth Madam."

The nurse then shook her head. "Come with me dear." She gently spoke and escorted Amanda down the hall to an empty area surrounded by a curtain and in the middle a bed.

"Wait here, the Doctor will be here when he is ready." The nurse then closed the curtain behind her.

Amanda sighed and sat on the bed. The bed squeaked as she adjusted her dress. She was still adjusting to wearing the old-fashioned undergarments.

She looked around; there were jars of cotton balls and wooden tongue depressors. The various equipment was so ancient. She laughed to herself as she thought of what she was used to in comparison to what was surrounding her.

There was a couple of voices outside of the curtain. She turned back around as she heard a certain voice. She got up from the bed and tried to listen more closely.

"The young lady has severe bruising and bloodied knuckles." The same nurse who admitted her was speaking with the person whose voice sparked her curiosity.

"Did she tell you what happened?" The voice asked.

Amanda felt like the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

The nurse continued to explain the injuries as Amanda listened on. The hairs on every part of her body felt like they were standing on end.

"The girl is over here." The nurse's voice got closer and Amanda backed away and sat back on the bed.

The curtain was drawn back. Amanda's eyes locked with the man who was accompanied with the nurse. The man's face turned white as a ghost.

Amanda cocked her head to the side, her eyes filled with tears.

The doctor dropped his stethoscope.


	13. Hidden Agendas

**CH 12**

 **HIDDEN AGENDAS**

"Oh my God..." The doctor walked up to Amanda and took her into a fierce hug. A dam broke loose in Amanda as she all but hacked in his arms. The nurse stood there in confusion.

"Mandy what are you doing here?" He whispered as he rubbed her back.

She sniffed. "I could ask you the same Dad." She looked up at him.

He turned around and looked at the nurse. "Maggie, that will do. Thank you." The nurse nodded and left the both of them alone.

Her father let go long enough to take her face into his hands. "The plane crash...we both didn't survive."

She looked down. "I figured when I saw you come in here." Another tear escaped her eye.

He nodded and then took a chair and sat across her. He put his hands on hers.

"It still doesn't explain how we got here though. Have you been here all this time? Since the day the ship left port?" She looked up at him.

He scratched his head. "Yeah, I am one of the ship's doctors. So many people are baffled at my American accent."

She grinned. "Yeah, I have gotten my fair share of stares and whispers due to my appearance."

There was a long silence between father and daughter...

"I did have this dream though Dad, it felt so real. I was back in Virginia, at the Naval hospital. There I was, laying in the bed with a broken arm and leg. I could barely talk or even focus." She explained.

"Honey, it was a dream. We both have no idea how we got here but we both know what is going to happen later on." He caressed her leg.

She looked up and closed her eyes. "My hand is hurting. I am sure the nurse told you what I told her."

He chuckled. "You were never a good liar Mandy. What _really_ happened?" He got up and reached into a drawer and pulled out a couple of vials and some bandages.

"I punched my wall." She shifted from being nervous.

He turned to look at her. "What in God's name would possess you to do something like that?"

She bit her lip. "It's a little complicated."

He motioned for her to show him her hand. She hesitated at first then pulled it out from behind her back.

Her father lightly grimaced. "Can you wiggle your fingers?"

She wiggled them and then hissed in pain.

"You feel any clicking?" He took her hand into his.

"No, it just hurts." She watched him pour some sort of liquid into a cotton ball and begin to wipe the top of her hand.

"This is some peroxide." He explained as he gently cleaned off some dried blood. "So why is it complicated?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Long story short I met a man and uh well, we are sort of involved."

Her father stopped cleaning her hand. "Mandy you have barely been here three days."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, but things happen."

Her father then took out another bottle and poured the contents into another cotton ball.

"I said the same thing when your mother and I got married. We were only together for four months before." He began to wipe her hand with the fresh cotton.

Amanda's rounded and she pulled her hand away. "Ouch Dad, what is that?!" She shrieked.

"It's alcohol, give me back your hand child I am almost done." He sighed. "You were always a pain wimp."

"Well guess who I got it from?" She chuckled.

He rolled his eyes then proceeded to finish cleaning her wounds. "I doubt you broke anything, but you are going to be sore for a while."

"That's good, do x-rays even exist here?" She watched her father grab a bandage.

"I don't think so. So who's the guy? Another passenger?" He asked as he raised her hand to his eye level.

Amanda swallowed hard. "No, he is an officer. A First Officer to be exact. William Murdoch." She started to feel her face flush.

Her father looked her in the eye and his jaw dropped.

"Are you serious?"

She looked up at him. "What?"

"Mandy, I think you outdid yourself this time. How did you both come across each other? He is like a ship's executive officer if we were back at home."

"No, actually Chief Officer Wilde would be, but that is besides the point. We are in love Dad." She said softly.

Her father began to wrap her hand. "I am not happy about it regardless, I mean you do realize he is going to die later on."

She began to wince as he wrapped her hand. "Dad, it's a little tight."

He looked up at her. "Sorry. You need to wear this for a least a week."

"You know when I came here, I promised I would try and keep him safe."

He listened on as he began to re-wrap her hand.

"But at the same time, I had to keep what I knew a secret. It was tearing me up inside." She began to cry again. "So this morning, after days of what I can only describe as hell, I broke down and told him what all I knew...He looked at me like I was insane and left. Then my losing my temper came after and this happened." She motioned to her hand.

Her father finished wrapping her hand. "I am going to give you something to help you relax with the pain and all."

She shook her head. "No, you know how I feel about pills."

"You need to sleep, you need to be up later for the inevitable. Get some food later, get some rest. You are going to need it."

He took her into his arms.

"Also, you need to keep your mouth shut. You will end up down here again, this time in a straitjacket." He ran his hand up and down her back.

"William is never going to talk with me again." She sobbed into her dad's chest.

He broke their embrace and put her out at arm's length. "He will, if he does indeed love you like he says he does, there will be a change. You know he will be busy tonight trying to get people off the ship. You will need to be close to the top decks when it gets close to the collision time. That will ensure you a spot on a lifeboat. Remember, he was on the starboard side putting people on lifeboats."

"What about you Dad? You are all the way down here and-"

"I will be fine. I am in Second Class, but I will hustle my way to a lifeboat. Where there's a will there's a way." He winked at her.\

She smiled through her tears. "I am Second Class too Daddy."

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Get some rest. What room are you in?"

She sniffed. "C 31."

He nodded. "I am C4. I will be leaving here around two this afternoon. Go get some rest and then some chow. That's an order." He winked again.

"Yes Captain." She hopped off the bed.

"Brat." He quipped.

Amanda took her father's advice and after lunch, she decided to take one last stroll around the ship while the sun was still out. Kids were playing with a ball and another kid was playing with what looked like a top. The weather was gorgeous, there was hardly any wind. She walked up to the railing and put one of her feet up. She gazed out into the horizon. The water looked so peaceful, but the only thing that came to her mind was the temperature of it. She started to envision people floating in the water, some dead, some barely alive. Amanda closed her eyes and tried her hardest to make the visions stop.

She started to say a prayer.

"Lord, please give me strength. Give these people strength. If I can't prevent the inevitable from happening, please guide us." A tear rolled down her cheek.

She wiped her eyes with her non-injured hand.

"Mandy?" A voice behind her spoke.

She gasped softly and turned around. Her beloved was standing behind her. He was in relaxed dress; brown pants and a white shirt tucked in.

"Will, what are you doing up?" She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

He walked up to the railing and stood next to her. "I couldn't sleep." He looked down at her wrapped up hand and gasped. "What in God's name happened to you?"

"Shit." She said under her breath. "I went to the gymnasium after you left. I was punching the bag and I missed, hit the wall. Nothing serious, it is going to be sore for sometime."

He gently took her hand and kissed it tenderly. Her eyes lit up like fireworks.

"That felt nice. Thank you." She quipped.

"Come with me." He said.

She looked up at him. "Where?"

He held out his arm. She linked her injured hand. "To the officer's decks. We can get some privacy there."

"Will, I am not crazy, or psychotic, or anything in relation." She looked at him.

They were both seated on a wooden and iron bench.

"I never said you were love, I have just never met someone as...well"- He stammered.

"Clairvoyant?" She asked.

He looked at her and smiled. "You took the words from me."

She nodded. "Told you."

They both sat hand-in-hand. He looked at his pocket-watch. "Lights should be coming on shift soon. It's almost five."

She swallowed hard. " _Why is this day going by so fast?"_ She thought to herself. "Are you relieving him?"

"Yes, hopefully it is a quiet night. Although I could listen to you sing again." He gently squeezed her hand.

She smiled weakly and looked down at their hands.

"Mandy, could you sing to me again?" He turned in his spot and looked in her eyes.

She looked away and laughed. "I can't there are people around!"

He looked around the area. "No, not really and it's not like you are in the middle of dinner service." His eyes turned a bit lighter. She couldn't resist him.

She sighed and turned to look at him. For a moment she thought of a song that would be appropriate. Once she thought of one she cleared her throat and took his hands.

" _When I feel what I feel"_

 _"Sometimes it's hard to tell you so"_

 _"You may not be in the mood to learn what you think you know..."_

She looked at him and his eyes danced. She then bent down and kissed him softly on the side of his mouth and then continued on.

 _"There are times when I find you want to you want to keep yourself from me"_

 _"When I don't have the strength, I am just a mirror of what I see..."_

 _"But at your best, you are love.."_

 _"You're a positive, motivating force within my life.."_

 _"Should you ever feel the need to wonder why.."_

 _"Let me know..."_

Before she could go on any further, he kissed her fiercely on the mouth. The force took her breath away.

"Forgive me for this..." He muttered then he got up and took her into his arms, bridal style, and whisked her down the steps and through the officer's corridor.

"Will, where are you taking me?" She had a tiny bit of fear in her voice.

Before he answered, they were outside a door. He opened it with a free hand and then gently kicked the door open.

She looked and saw it was an officer's stateroom. There were a couple of portholes in the walls, he had sunshine come in through his room.

"Um...what is going on here?" She asked.

He gently put her down onto her feet. He took her hand and led her inside and shut the door behind him.

**CREDIT: Song: "At Your Best (You are Love)"-Aaliyah (1979-2001) RIP**


	14. Surprises and Sorrow

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS INTIMACY**

 **CH 13**

 **Surprises and Sorrow**

She stared at him as he turned on a light. They were alone before, but it felt like this time it had more gravity.

"Will, uh what is it that-"

"Mandy, I love you. I want you to know that." He interrupted.

She stood in her spot as he approached here. _He doesn't want anything to do with me anymore._ She thought.

He walked up to her and took her face into his hands. His eyes fixated on hers.

"When the ship docks, I am getting off with you. You are my everything and I want to make this official. Now I know your father is in New York, that you told me." Amanda felt a spark go up her spine as she realized that she had seen him on the ship earlier that day.

"So I cannot get his blessing." He continued.

She looked down at him and felt like every cell in her body was about to explode. "Blessing for what?" She cautiously asked.

That was when William got down on one knee. His eyes never left hers.

"Amanda Spencer, I want you to be my wife." He caressed the top of her hand with his thumb.

Mandy's mouth went dry. She opened her mouth but no words were coming out.

Will continued to look up at her. His eyes were a brilliant and sparkling blue; they displayed happiness, fear, and for some reason she thought, desire. It was such an arousing mix to her, but the ocean of emotions she started to feel were rapidly coming over her.

"Will, I...oh my God." She shook her head. "Don't you think this is too fast, I mean this morning and all-"

His grip on her hand tightened a little bit. "I want you in my life."

"You want me?" Her voice cracked as tears began to fall.

He rose to his feet and caressed her cheek. "I wanted you the moment I saw your face. You were the most beautiful thing I ever saw."

She smiled. "I don't know what to say. Is this really happening?"

He walked over to a large chest of drawers and opened up the top drawer. She watched as he pulled out a dark, mahogany box. He motioned for her to come over to him. She walked over and sat on the edge of his bed as he laid the box down upon the mattress.

"What's that?" She looked up at him.

He opened the box and saw various things. A couple of photographs, what looked to be paper money, a necklace was all that she could see. He dug around and took out a small velvet drawstring baggie. He opened the bag and dumped the contents into his a hand. A silver band with a blue stone sparkled with the sunlight peeking through his port window.

"Will...it's so beautiful." She said with awe.

He held the delicate piece of jewelry in his left hand. "My grandmother gave this to my father, my father on to me. My late wife never wore this ring. I saved this for the one woman who I would truly desire, cherish, and love for the rest of my life. My sweet Amanda." He took her right hand, since her left was injured. He slipped the ring onto her tan finger.

She looked up at him through happy tears. "I will be your wife. I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a loving kiss upon his lips. He began to deepen the kiss and she responded with pulling him closer to her.

"Will..." She whispered between kisses. "Make love to me. Now." Even though she swore to herself that she would try and prevent his death, a part of her was afraid that history would go on like it did. She would not let him go without giving him the part of her that she cherished and saved for the one man who would deserve such a gift. Like the ring on her finger.

He paused and looked down upon her. Her hair was starting to fall out of its braid, she was a remarkable sight. Her lips were dark pink and pout. He thought of what she had said to him that morning, about the "premonition" she had felt. A part of him truly wanted to wait until he had his rights and they were married, but another part thought that he had his grandmother's ring on her finger, they were betrothed, and nobody would know they had consummated their relationship before being married. except for them.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

Her eyes were glossy with lust, desire, and innocence. They had gone from a greenish grey to a bright green.

"Yes, I want this more than anything. I want to give myself to you right here, right now." She slowly got up from his bed and stood before him. She started to unbutton the buttons on her dress. Slowly, one by one. He got up and went to her. He slipped her dress off her shoulders and it formed a pool on the floor.

She stood in a corset and garters. Her silk stockings were almost transparent. She took his shirt and pulled it from his pants and in a swift motion, pulled it over his head. His chest hardly had any hair on it, except for a few wisps in the middle. There was some slight muscle bulge in his upper arms. To her, he was all man, she could feel liquid heat coursing through her veins. He started to untie the ties on the front of her corset as she kicked her shoes.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered. She closed her eyes as he slipped the corset off her after the last of the strings were untied. This was the first time she had ever been topless in front of a man. She began to feel nervous, yet excited at her exposure. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that Will was looked right at her. In a futile attempt, she took her arm and covered herself out of instinct.

"No, no, Mandy, you are so beautiful. You needn't be afraid love. Please. Let me look at my beautiful bride-to-be." He said softly.

She put her arm down. She was down to her garters and her stockings. She felt as if she looked scandalous. He walked over to her and picked her up and brought her to his bed. He sat her down gently and laid down beside her. He took his hands and worked them down and began to unhook her garters from her underwear. She closed her eyes as he began to pull her stockings off slowly, one by one. As he peeled the last one off her foot, he took that same foot and cradled it in his hands.

"Your feet are so soft and so small. You have such beautiful and powerful looking legs." He noted.

She opened her eyes and sat up, meeting his gaze. "Can you lay here with me. Just hold me until you got to go up on the bridge later. Please."

"Are you having second thoughts about making love Amanda?" His voice sounded concerned.

She sighed. "I think my idea is more intimate. I just want to feel you close to me is all." She tried her hardest to not cry.

He looked at her and kissed her softly on each eye. He pulled them both down and he laid beside her. Putting his arm around her, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I love you."

She felt tears start to roll down the side of her face. Time was going by too quickly and she couldn't think of any more ideas to prevent the ship hitting the iceberg in the far distance. It was at that moment she just had to prevent Will from being in harm's way.

"I love you too my sweet William." She whispered. They had only a couple of hours before he would have to get up and get ready to go on his shift.

And she dreaded it.


	15. Plans

**CH 14**

 **PLANS**

A gentle kiss to her ear awoke Amanda; she realized she had fallen asleep with Will.

"Love, I got to get ready to go up." He whispered as he turned on a light. He bent down and picked her clothing off of the floor and laid everything on the bed.

Amanda rubbed her eyes and then slowly rose up.

"What time is it?" She cleared her throat.

He took his pocket watch off his dresser. "Almost ten."

She had realized as her eyes adjusted that she was topless. She nearly forgot how earlier they almost made love together for the first time. That was when she picked her corset and put it on double fast and began to fasten it. She looked up as will was getting his uniform coordinated and ready.

She got up from his bed and grabbed her dress and threw it on. She didn't care about the garters or stockings. After she buttoned the last of the thousand of buttons it seemed like, she stood on one foot and put one shoe on and then repeated with the other leg. She didn't want to tell Will, but she was in a frenzy to get back to her room, change her clothes, and put on anything that was warm. Her life coat would be under her clothes instead of a corset. She would then get to the bridge and stay close to Will. In her mind, the clock had started.

She looked up at Will as was getting ready to fasten his tie. She walked over to him. "I will see you later tonight." She kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

"You probably won't be able to sleep anyway because you were asleep practically all afternoon." He chuckled.

She smiled and turned to leave. As she closed the door behind her, a pair of footsteps stopped at hers. She looked up and saw a baby-faced Sixth Officer Moody. His face was neutral.

"Excuse me Miss, but what business do you have down here?"

She blinked. "Plenty and after tonight it won't matter." She walked off, leaving a confused and red faced Moody behind.

After she was far enough away, Moody knocked on Will's door. "It's James."

After a moment or two, the door opened. "Evening Mr. Moody, is everything alright?" Will asked as he put his top coat on.

"Who was that woman that was in here? And to think of it, I think I have seen her before."

Will was a little taken back. "What woman?"

Moody rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Very funny."

Will motioned for James to come in and he shut the door behind him. "She is my betrothed." He went and grabbed his cover off the nightstand.

Moody's eyes rounded. "Wait, _betrothed?"_ He emphasized on the word. "Is that the girl that Lights was -"

"Yes." Will cut him off. "I am sure Lights told everyone about what happened, or maybe Pitman."

"Lights mentioned he got hit. Pitman is quiet, you know that. Anyway I am sure she hit him for a good reason." Moody laughed.

Will shot him a crossed-look. "Typical, he doesn't give the full account. He called her a foul name."

"Oh."

"There is more to the story but I don't want to go into it." Will put his cover on and his pocket watch in his pocket.

They both left his room and headed for the wheelhouse. "So how did you get to become engaged? You know her from home?"

"Did you happen to look at her when you saw her leave?" Will asked. He was starting to get tired of the interrogating.

Moody started to look confused. "She was beautiful."

Will smiled. "She is half Native American."

Moody stopped him before going in. "An American girl!" He whispered sharply.

Will rolled his eyes. "Did you say anything to her when you saw her come out of my room?" His hand was on the doorknob.

"I asked her what business she had being down there in your stateroom."

Will's lips became taut. "You know of all the things you could of asked. I don't say a word when it comes to everyone else, but damn you could have at least just walked by." He sighed. "What did she say?"

Moody swallowed hard. "She said she had plenty of reasons and she said something at the end that was real confusing: "...and after tonight it won't matter." or something to that effect." He noted the look on Will's face.

It took a few moments, but it all started to make sense.

"You alright Sir?" Moody asked.

Will looked down at the doorknob and turned it to open the door. The Quartermaster nodded his head at both men. "Good evening."

Both men nodded in acknowledgement. They stood inside for a few minutes while they waited for a pass down from Lights. "What do you think she meant?" Moody asked.

Will played stupid and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe she knows something I don't." He watched as Lights came in. His breath was visible.

"Fuck it's bloody cold." Lights said as he rubbed his hands together. "The skipper is down for the night."

Will grabbed the deck log and started to skim through it. "Is there anything that needs to known to me?"

Lights walked over to him. "The water is very calm. Also, the moon isn't out at all. I told the Captain that it would make the bergs harder to see."

Will looked up at him. A sense of worry came over him.

"I have decided to stay on a little bit longer, to do some rounds. A little extra security." Lights patted his friend on the arm.

Will grinned. "Thank you. Let's take a walk." The cold, frigid air hit Will like a slap in the face. He flipped his coat collar up to cover his neck.

"Did you ever find those binoculars for the lookouts?" Will turned to Lights.

"Last I saw them, we were in Southampton." Lights answered. "Anyway I will be on my rounds. Cheerio."

Will nodded in acknowledgement and looked out over the bridge.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

On the other side of the ship, Amanda was putting on layer after layer. She was up to two when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!"

Her father peeked his head in. "Mandy." He closed the door behind him.

"Dad, I took your advice. I am dressing in layers. I got my life jacket on underneath so no one suspects anything." She went over to him and gave him a hug.

"So I take that history will be accurate and all will go as before?" He took a seat in her rocking chair.

"Yeah, that is what it is looking like, you caught me just in time. I am putting on my coat and then a hat and two pairs of gloves."

"You remember what I told you right?" He asked.

She looked up at him. "I have about thirty minutes left. I figured I get the rest of my stuff on, gulp down a glass of wine and be by Will's side."

"I won't be far behind. Maybe this will be my only opportunity to give my blessing." He chucked.

A feeling of dread came over her. "Dad please don't say such things."

"Baby doll, you have a much better chance of leaving here unscathed than I do. I am a male." He explained.

She got the last pair of gloves on. "Well you are a doctor, you are valuable. Hang with me, Will will let you on. He is more cool with guys getting on the boats than the rest of the officers."

He got up. "Well I think I will go and get my life jacket too. Where are you going to be?"

"Up on the bridge. See you up there?" She headed for the door.

He walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. "You would make a great military officer. You seem to have nerves of steel and you possess this great energy. You would definitely go far." He smiled.

"Well I think we will be stuck in this era after this is all said and done. I hope it isn't like a twisted Wizard of Oz and I wake up and this was all a dream. For real this time. Females can't be any kind of military officer quite yet; I don't think." She then kissed him on the cheek.

"Let's rock and roll." He opened her door and let her out first. They both went their separate ways for the time being. She hurried through the corridors and headed for the first door she saw that would lead her outside. Upon opening it, she felt the cold air hit her face.

"Oh my God." She whispered. She shut the door behind her and headed towards Will. She was fortunate that she thought of dressing in layers, the cold was vicious. She walked up the tiny staircase and opened a little half-door.

Will was standing there, rubbing his gloved hands together. She slowly walked up to him. "Will." She whispered.

He turned his head in the direction of the voice. "Mandy, what...what are you doing here?"

She walked up to him. "I just wanted to see you." She put a gloved hand up to his cheek. He shut his eyes and lightly smiled at the gesture.

The ringing of bells interrupted their tender moment. Amanda shut her eyes tightly. Will tried to get a good eye to make out what the lookouts had spotted in the distance.

Amanda felt a tear come down her cheek. _This is really happening..._ She thought to herself. Her heart began to race a mile a minute she felt.

The bridge phone began to ring. Will looked back at her. She looked up at him. "I told you."

Moody walked over to the phone. "What do you see?" He asked with a cup of tea in his hand.

Mandy could hear the lookout screaming into the phone from her spot. That was when Moody looked over in Will's direction, and he sprang into action. All she could do was stand there; at that point her job was to keep her beloved alive.


	16. Improvising

**CH 15**

 **IMPROVISING**

Amanda walked off the bridge and down to the decks. She climbed on top of a capstan and watched as the ship got closer to the iceberg. To her, there was nothing she could do. Everything was going down exactly how history described it. The only surreal thing to her was that instead of watching it on TV, like she did once a week at home, she was _there._ She could replay the scene over and over in her head of Will trying to talk to the ship. " _Turn...turn."_ The way his mouth looked, the beads of sweat that started to form on his forehead. She had everything memorized.

She could see where a seaman was standing at the tip of the ship, trying to see if it they would miss the iceberg.

"It's going to hit!" He started to head aft. That was when she immediately jumped off the capstan and headed back for the bridge.

She got to Will, and noticed his hand shaking from the vibration of the ship hitting the ice. He looked down at her. "We are in trouble." His voice slightly cracked.

He turned around. "Hard to port!" The quartermaster turned the wheel with frenzy.

Amanda just stood there, not knowing what to say or do. She watched as he ran back into the wheelhouse and started to close the watertight doors.

A couple of men down below on the weather decks began to kick pieces of ice around like soccer balls. She couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as they looked to be having fun, but their oblivion to the situation made her stop and frown.

"Mandy." Will gently touched her arm. She looked up at him.

"Come with me for a moment." He led her down to the decks and behind a post away from the bridge.

"The ship is going to sink." His eyes brimmed with tears.

She felt her heart drop as she watched him start to cry. She took him into her arms; she could never bear to watch a man cry. It was something that pained her, ever since the day her mother died and watched her father cry. She gently caressed the back of his head and closed her eyes.

After a moment, he broke the embrace and took out a handkerchief and dabbed his eyes. His eyes were a bright blue from the tears.

"Will, I need you to be strong, alright?" She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You got to focus now on getting people to safety. I will be nearby. I am strong, I can survive." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.

"I got to go back to my room and retrieve some things. Are you going to be alright?"

Will nodded and wiped his nose. "I am going to head to the Captain's quarters. There are so many things we have to figure out and plan."

"Alright, well remember to be strong. You are going to be fine, I will be sure of that. I love you William Murdoch." She kissed him on the cheek and walked away.

"I love you too!" He yelled after her.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Dad!" Amanda knocked on her father's door. "It's me!"

A door opened up next door. "Miss do you have any idea how late it is?!" An irate man yelled.

She ignored him as she waited on her father to open the door.

"Well?" The man asked.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Sir, you might as well stay up. The ship hit a huge iceberg. Soon every steward on the ship is going to be knocking on doors telling people to get dressed and get their life jackets on." She noted the shocked look on his face. "Consider this your head start, you can thank me later." She said condescendingly.

Her father opened the door and put his hat on. He looked warm and had his life jacket in his hand. "You alright love?" He shut the door behind him.

"As fine as I can manage. I worry about you and Will."

The both of them noticed the man from the next room continuing to stare. "What?" Amanda asked him.

The man ran back into his room slamming the door behind him.

Her father grabbed her hand. "Want to grab a drink first?"

Amanda smiled slightly. "That sounds like a good idea, but I can do better. I have an unopened bottle of champagne in my room, I will grab that. You got a flask?"

"No, I am not that fancy. Let's go get it."

Amanda led them to her room and before opening the door, Sara opened her door. "Amanda!" She squealed.

"Sara, hello.." Amanda awkwardly looked at her father and then back to Sara.

"I haven't seen you in ages it seems like." She walked up to Amanda and gave her a slight hug.

Sara looked up at Amanda's father. "Amanda, who is this?" She gave Amanda a sly look.

Amanda fidgeted with her coat button while looking up at her friend. Sara walked up to them. "This isn't Will."

"He is a friend of Will's." Amanda lied. A state of confusion came over her; if Sara was Amanda's long time friend, surely she would be able to identify her father.

"I am one of the ship's doctors." Her father spoke up.

She looked at Sara and saw that she looked like she wasn't believing him.

"If you are a friend of Will's then why do you have an American accent?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Never mind that, you need to get some warm clothes on. I don't know if you felt anything, but the ship hit an iceberg not too long ago." Amanda hoped she wouldn't see her at all.

Sara's already pale face turned white. "Wha..what?"

"The ship hit an iceberg, it isn't looking good."

Sara looked at the floor for a couple of moments. "I don't understand, it is a huge ship."

"With some gaping holes." Amanda's father quipped. "Honey, you need to do what Mandy said and get as close top as you possibly can so you can be prepared to get into a life boat."

Sara's eyes squinted. "Honey? Who are you to call me-"

"Sara, don't question, just go!" Amanda all but screamed.

"Consider this a courtesy. Your _beau_ is going to be coming around any minute or so to tell you *exactly* what I am telling you now."

"I do not appreciate how you are talking to me, your father will hear about this-"

"I am her father Sara and I cannot fathom how my daughter could even put up with you this entire time. Amanda, let's get going." He grabbed his daughter's hand and led them away from the second class cabins. Leaving an open mouthed and shocked Sara behind.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Marcus and Amanda came across a couple of stewards who were discussing the situation with someone who looked more superior to them but wasn't an officer. They carefully and swiftly walked past them and walked up a stairwell to a door to the outside decks.

"Excuse me!" A stern male voice from behind spoke out.

"Where are you two going?"

Marcus without batting an eye. "I am Doctor Spencer, I was told of a passenger who fainted outside. This here is one of my training nurses."

The steward's face turned red. "Oh, my apologies. Carry on."

Amanda closed the door behind them. "Dad, that was pretty amazing." She laughed. It felt good to find some way to laugh in such a dire situation.

"Honey, after you have lived the life I have, you have to learn to improvise on the spot. It comes in handy."

They came across what looked to be the inside of the First Class lounge. "Dad, I need a drink." She pulled him inside.

"I don't know, there is a rather serious looking guy by the door. He will probably not let us in."

Amanda wasn't buying it. "Dad, I am sure you can pull off another Academy Award-winning performance. Come on." She pulled them to the entrance and opened the door.

"Good evening Sir." The maître d nodded. "Miss."

"Good evening." Amanda said with a fake accent.

They spotted a table and sat down. Like clockwork another maître d came to greet them. "Good evening, how may I serve you?"

Marcus cleared his throat. "Yes, I would like a brandy, well make that a double, and the lady will have a white wine."

"Actually, I will have what my husband is having. Dearest, you know I love my brandy too." Amanda looked over at her father endearingly.

The maître d blinked and then nodded in acknowledgement and scooted off.

Amanda burst out in laughter. "Oh my god!" Her face turned as red as their tablecloth. "That was good. I think I outdid myself."

"Since when do you like dark liquor?" Her father asked.

Amanda ignored him.

A familiar voice caught her attention; she looked up and saw what looked to be Molly Brown walking towards their area.

"Dad, it's Molly Brown." She whispered. Her father's eyes lit up. "Well I be damned. Go say hi."

She looked at him in shock. "Hell no. The less attention on us the better."

The maître d came back with a tray. He sat their drinks down and went on his way once again.

"Cheers." Amanda quipped and they both clinked their glasses.

"Do you mind if I sat with you two fine looking people?" Molly asked.

Amanda looked up and smiled. "Grab a seat!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you. You both know about the iceberg?" Molly asked as she sat down.

Her father nodded. "Yes, we are trying to get our last drink in before we have to go outside. What a shame."

"You're telling me, I was thinking this ship was unsinkable." Molly took a sip of her drink.

"I am Margaret Brown." She introduced herself.

Marcus stuck his hand out. "Marcus Spencer, nice to meet you Mrs. Brown."

"Oh, just call me Molly. Is this your wife?" She smiled at Amanda.

"No, this is my daughter, Amanda." He answered. Amanda shook her hand. "It's Mandy, and it is a pleasure to meet you, wish we could meet under better circumstances."

"So where are you both from?"

"New York naturally. We were on holiday, my late wife's mother is from London and we were seeing her for a bit. She always spoils this one." Her father gestured to Mandy.

Molly chuckled.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "In her mind I am still seven years old. I just turned 22 last month."

"Well grandmothers are always like that. You'll see." Molly winked.

Amanda smiled and then quickly gulped the brandy down like a shot. "Father, we need to get out of here to try and beat the crowd." She whispered.

"Good heavens darlin' where did you learn to drink like that?" Molly laughed.

Mandy's face turned red. "I may be a First Class girl but I am no society girl."

Molly and Marcus burst out in laughter. "Marcus, I love this girl. She reminds me so much of myself." Molly clapped her hands together.

Marcus chugged his brandy and then got up. Amanda put her coat back on. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Maybe I will see you on a lifeboat."

Molly stood up and took her into her arms. "You be safe out there baby girl." She kissed her on the cheek. Amanda smiled and took off with her father.

They headed for the starboard side.


	17. The Blessing

**CH 16**

 **The Blessing**

People were beginning to form up from all around as Amanda and her father walked up to the starboard side. She stood up on her toes to try and see if she can see William.

"Will!" She yelled. Her father grabbed her by the arm. "Mandy, stop drawing attention."

She ignored him and tried to maneuver herself through the crowd of people and saw Will talking to a couple of deck handlers who were preparing the rope to lower what she assumed was the first lifeboat.

"Will!" She grabbed his hand. He turned to her and gave her a sincere smile. "Love, are you alright?" He asked.

She nodded and then noted his pistol hanging a little bit from the pocket of his overcoat. She looked back up at him.

"I wanted to tell you that I know you will do fine getting these people off the ship tonight." She felt a lump in her throat. She wanted to somehow get the gun off his person.

Will squeezed her hand. "Love I want you in this first boat."

She shook her head. "No, I want to be on the one you will be riding in when this is all over." She closed her eyes and then turned her head to have her father come to her side.

"Well make it us three." She took her father's hand in her other. "William Murdoch, I want you to meet my father, Dr. Marcus Spencer."

Will's azule eyes rounded, and his face turned a bit pink. "Your father?"

Marcus was just as taken back as Will. "Mandy, you think this is necessary right now?" Her father asked.

"Dad I want your blessing." She looked up at him and back up at Will.

"Sir, I am sure my daughter told you I would be waiting for her return back home. Little did she know, I wanted to surprise her. I applied for a position onboard this ship a while back. They needed a doctor who would provide some more extensive care." Marcus lied. "And the White Star Line assumed that since I was from New York, I would have much more valuable experience. I was picked up in Cherbourg." His heart raced a mile a minute.

Amanda's mouth was hung open. He was good.

"The girl she was travelling with, I am good friends with her family and I surprised my daughter yesterday. I was the one who wrapped her hand this morning." He held her bandaged hand up. "She is not quite ready for boxing." Marcus laughed nervously.

Will held his hand out. "My name is First Officer William Murdoch, it is nice to meet the man who raised such a wonderful daughter.

Marcus smiled and shook Will's hand.

"Darling, what is this about a blessing?" Marcus looked down at Amanda with a suspicious look.

Amanda swallowed. "He asked me to be his wife." She took her left hand and showed him the ring that rested on her slender, tan finger.

Her father's eyes brimmed with tears and he stroked his little girl's cheek. Then looked at her fiancé.

"My only condition, is to take care of yourself this night. Survive for my only girl." Marcus' tone became deeper with seriousness. He also knew what the night would bring if all were to be like it was before. He used to make fun of Amanda because at one point she ruined the first VHS tapes of the movie because of her obsession.

Will looked up at the brawny father and shook his hand once more. "You and Amanda have my promise." Will then looked down at his bride to be. "Get on this first lifeboat."

She wasn't too comfortable leaving Will up on the ship knowing that Tommy Ryan would eventually be pushed by a fellow passenger and then shot dead by Will.

She felt pressured to say yes by the two important men in her life standing by her but she wanted to stick around for a while.

"Mandy..." Her father said sternly.

She looked up at him and then pulled his collar down to her and she whispered something in his ear. William looked on in confusion, he then felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Sir, we are ready to load the first boat..." A deck worker shouted.

Will nodded and then looked back at the father and his daughter.

"Amanda Elaine Morgan-Spencer, you are to get on that first boat!" Her father grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. This took her breath away, she had never seen her father this angry.

"No, and you know damn well why!" She hissed.

Will took her by the arm. "Love, you and your father have two seats waiting."

"Will, I can help you load the passengers and everything. There could be children who are scared and I can help comfort them." She wanted to slap herself for the weak excuse to stay on board.

Another officer approached Will and shouted. "The Captain is only allowing First Class off first. Give it a little bit of time and we can start with Second Class." The man had auburn hair, he was someone she did not recognize. The proclamation of the policies of boarding the boats gave her a sense of relief. She could stay near longer and keep a close eye.

She watched as Will nodded in acknowledgement and then walked over to the edge of the ship and prepared to give the word to lower the first boat.

"You know Mandy, you are one lucky duck." Her father turned to her.

She looked up at him. "I love him dad. I don't want him to die." A tear fell from his eye and she quickly wiped it away with her thick, gloved hand.

Will was busy watching the deck handlers lower the boat. He was a powerful looking sight. He looked like God to her: shouting the orders, the his body language and the stance he was holding. He looked composed on the outside, but she knew otherwise. He was a nervous wreck and her heart was hurting for him.

She looked around and walked over to a staircase and sat down. Her father followed her and leaned against the railing.

"You want anything to drink? He looked upon his maudlin-looking daughter.

She closed her eyes and then looked up at him. "Whiskey. Lots of it. Smuggle a cask." She was able to let out a bit of laughter.

He padded her hand and then headed to an open bar or parlor to get the alcohol. It would be a long night.


	18. How to Save a Life

**_Hey everyone, thank you so much for your reviews, comments, likes, etc. I do not want to drag out the part of them still being on the ship any further, I am trying to stop at CH 30. I am almost done writing and the juicy parts will soon be coming. I promise!_**

 ** _*_ I only own my own characters***

 **CH 17**

 **How to Save a Life.**

An hour went by, Amanda continued to sit in her same spot. She could feel the effects of the booze; she was more relaxed, and her body felt warm on the inside. Her father was close by tending to a woman who had fainted while trying to step onto a lifeboat. The woman looked to be a little older than Amanda. By now everyone was fair game to a seat on a lifeboat on the starboard side, Will ensured everyone who was in close proximity would get on.

She admired his strength and decency to get everyone, regardless of class or sex onto a boat. There were times she thought he would lose it, or buckle under the tremendous pressure, but he would keep moving.

Her father walked over to her and took the flask from her hand.

"Is she okay dad?" She stood up.

He shook his head as started to take a sip. "She is pregnant." He twisted the metal top and took a seat beside her.

Her eyes rounded. "How far along?"

"At least five months. Third class woman. Her husband was grateful that he was allowed to climb onto the boat." He padded Amanda's leg.

"You got yourself a good man." He winked.

She grinned then looked back over to where Will was at. She couldn't see him; she stood up and tried to get a bird's eyes view.

"What's the matter?" Her dad inquired.

Her heart stopped. She could see Cal and some other men standing around Will. "Dad, I got to go." She jumped from the stairwell, her father looked up at her in confusion.

She ran through the crowds of people to get to Will. Her heart raced, beads of sweat started to run down the sides of her face and into her hair.

"I will shoot anyone who gets past me, _GET BACK!"_ She could hear him yelling.

She walked over and stood outside the ring. She could see Cal walk up to Murdoch and berate him for not letting him through. That was when she saw Will reach into his pocket and throw the wad of money, that Cal had given him as "insurance" for a lifeboat seat, in his face.

"Your money can't save anymore than it can save me." Will sneered. "GET BACK!"

Amanda's heart felt like it was going to fly out of her chest. She could feel adrenaline course through her veins.

"Will put the gun down." She screamed.

He turned his head and looked over at Amanda. "What are you bloody doing over here!?" Will yelled.

She opened her mouth but no words came out. That was when she saw a man grab a hold of a cable to swing around Will. Will then pointed the gun at the man, shooting him in the chest. Amanda's hand flew to her mouth as she watched Tommy Ryan get pushed forward, accidently, and that was when Will fired the fatal shot. Amanda became catatonic and felt like everything was going in slow motion. Will looked down as blood started to roll down the deck. The money laying nearby, added a disturbing element to it all. She looked up at Will and then turned around to see Chief Officer Wilde controlling another crowd.

Will looked over at Amanda, his face showed a myriad of emotions.

He then looked over at Wilde, and rendered a salute, then put the pistol to his temple.

"NO!" Amanda screamed then made a dash towards him, colliding into him and falling onto the deck. The gun went off...

Marcus, like a man insane, ran to the pair. Amanda was laid on top of Will.

"Amanda!" He exclaimed.

Chief Officer Wilde soon joined.

Will opened his eyes and groaned. He could feel Amanda's weight on top of her. Her father pulled her off of Will. She screamed in pain.

"My shoulder!" She cried.

Her father laid her down on the deck. She had an entrance wound in her left shoulder, some blood started to stain her coat. Her head has smacked the deck, causing a bump to form on the side of her head.

"Oh my God." Will whispered.

Amanda closed her eyes in pain as her father started to remove her top coat from her.

"Will, we need to get on a boat. All three of us." Marcus looked up at Will with a glare.

"I...I..." Will couldn't find any words.

Marcus took her coat and pressed it down on her shoulder to apply pressure.

"She needs medical attention, and so do you. You are not mentally fit to be in charge of anything right now."

Chief Officer Wilde looked over at Marcus. "He is needed to put people on the boats, Sir."

"Love, keep this on your shoulder, you are going to be alright. Nothing is going to happen to you." Marcus kissed her forehead, then stood up to meet Wilde's eyes.

"Your First Officer tried to take his own life just now, my daughter is his fiancée. She tried to stop him from killing himself. My name is Dr. Marcus Spencer. I am one of the Chief Physicians on this ship. It is my call. Your First Officer is mentally unfit. I declare him to be a threat to himself. My daughter is bleeding and I am going to make it my best interest that she has her only family with her at all costs." Marcus' words were emphatic. He wasn't missing a beat.

Officer Wilde was speechless. He looked over at Will. "You are relieved."

Marcus picked his daughter up and then looked over at Will. He took Will's cover off and threw it into the water. "Take off your coat and turn it inside out. Take my hat off and put it on."

Will began to do what her instructed to do. He reached up and took Marcus' hat off his head and put it on. As he began to take his coat off, he could make out a wetness on the collar. Some of Amanda's blood got on him during the struggle with the gun.

He started to feel like he was going to throw up, but tried to keep his composure. He needed to be strong for the woman who practically saved his life.

He put the coat back on. "Wilde, can you put us on a boat?" He looked over at him.

Wilde swallowed and nodded. He looked over at another officer. "Can you maintain the crowds? These people are getting on first." Wilde pointed to the trio. The other officer nodded in acknowledgement. "Get back everyone!" The officer started to motion with his hands for everyone to back up.

Will got on the lifeboat first, he then reached out and took Amanda in his arms, as her father climbed in. The took their seats.

"Amanda?" Will whispered.

She opened her eyes. She could barely make out Will. She didn't know if it was the alcohol, or if she was loosing a lot of blood, but she felt like she was on a cloud.

"Will, why?" She whispered.

Tears started to fall as he bent his head down to kiss her lips.

"Dad?" She asked.

"I am right here." Her father sat down beside Will. He caressed her face.

"I shouldn't have drank that whiskey." She swallowed. "It thins the blood."

Her father kissed her on the forehead. "When we get to the next ship, you will be given fluids baby." He could feel a lump in his throat.

People started to load the lifeboat. Amanda closed her eyes again and turned her face into Will's coat. She could still feel warm from the effects of the alcohol, but she wanted to feel closer to Will. Her long, brown tresses covered her face.

Marcus looked over at her and then took his hand and placed it on her neck to feel her pulse. He sighed in relief as he felt her pulse was fine. The light blue coat was not soaked in blood, which was good.

"Amanda?" Her father asked.

She lifted her head. "Hmm?"

"Do you feel dizzy or lightheaded?"

"No, I am just sleepy is all. I don't think I am losing that much blood. I will be fine, it just really hurts." She said softly.

Marcus took her hand. "Go to sleep honey."

She felt like he was giving her permission. She smiled weakly and curled back into Will's chest. Will began to gently stroke her hair and rock her, like a child.

Marcus felt relief, anger, and hurt. He was relieved that as a doctor, with his experience, that Amanda's wound was probably superficial, however, as a parent, he was mad that another man's bullet hit his little girl.

"Murdoch. My daughter certainly does love you." He looked down at his feet.

Will looked over at Marcus. "I know she does. I love her just as much."

"Then why in the hell would you put a gun to your head in front of her? Do something so cowardly in front of her?" This time he started Will in the eye, not blinking.

Will swallowed. "Sir, if you could feel what I felt when I shot that young lad. His life had just begun. I felt so guilty. I felt guilty for accepting a bribe, and then even more guilty for shooting that poor boy."

Chief Officer Wilde yelled for the boat to be lowered.

"I understand that you were felt like your safety was being threatened, but maintaining good order is part of your job. The boy was trying to get past you, he was warned. You did your job." Marcus explained.

Will was getting a little irritated, but he had to save face for Amanda.

"You will understand where I am coming from with my anger when you have children of your own." Marcus added.

Will sat silent. He continued to look down at his beloved. She stirred slightly as the boat hit the water. He felt tremendous guilt but at the same time pride. He never would imagine Amanda being so brave to take him down. She opened her eyes briefly and then tried to shift, but her shoulder prevented her from doing so.

"When we will be saved?" She looked up at Will.

He stroked her chin. "Not for a little while."

Marcus reached over and padded her head. "Save your strength. Once we get to the next ship, you will be taken straight to the infirmary."

Amanda closed her eyes once again and tried to go to sleep.


	19. New Surroundings

**CH 18**

 **New Surroundings**

Amanda opened her eyes and saw that dawn was upon them. She looked up and saw that she was now in her father's arms. Will was on the opposite end of lifeboat, talking with another officer. She rubbed her eyes and tried to shift her arm but was met with instant pain. She cursed and put her hand to her left shoulder.

Almost everyone who was on the boat turned to look at Amanda. Her father looked down at her.

"Hey, we are almost to the ship." He stroked Amanda's hair. "Did you forget about your arm?"

She gathered all the strength she had and sat up. The sea breeze against her face was refreshing, but she suddenly had the urge to vomit.

She turned around and bent over and vomited violently. Her father moved her hair out from her face. The pain in combination with the alcohol she had the night before and her exhaustion drove her body into a frenzy. She couldn't wait to get to the Carpathia and into bed, she felt like she was dying.

Will came over and sat next to her. "What's the matter?" He rubbed her back.

Another passenger came over to them and offered his flask. "This is water." The older man unscrewed the metal top and gave it to Marcus.

"Thank you Sir." Marcus smiled weakly. "Mandy, this is water. Take short sips, do not gulp it. You are dehydrated."

Amanda practically snatched the flask from his hands and put the top to her lips. It was hard not do what her father advised her because she was so thirsty but it would make her more ill if she didn't sip it like he said.

She sat back up and turned around slowly. She didn't want to look at the water and the more she got her standings back, the more she felt the boat rock. The ship was about 300 feet and it couldn't have been a more welcomed sight.

"Will, get these people to row faster." She closed her eyes as she felt a headache coming over her. In her mind, she felt like being dead was a better treat than her current situation. "You still have that gun?" She asked him.

"Darling, what are you talking about?" Will was concerned by her question.

Marcus chuckled. "Will, it was a joke."

"The way I feel right now, death is so much appealing." Amanda laid her head up against Will's shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt his arm wrap around her and held her tight.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Make room for the lady." A ships officer yelled as Marcus carried Amanda over and onto the ship. Will soon followed.

"Sir, where is your hospital deck? This woman needs immediate medical attention." Marcus told the officer.

"I am afraid that the hospital wing might be full. There are people who are cold and-"

Marcus got angry. "My daughter has a bullet in her shoulder, she is hungover, and dehydrated. She needs fluids and rest. Tell me where the fuck the wing is or I will find it myself!"

Will walked up to the officer. "I am First Officer Murdoch, this is my fiancee's father. He is a doctor. Her state is much worse than those who are currently in the sick bay."

The man stepped back and looked at Amanda who was looking pale and tired.

"Follow me please."

They walked through a hatch and walked down two sets of ladderwells. The officer opened the door for the three and followed them in.

"I need a bed and some fluids now!" Marcus yelled. A doctor walked up to the group.

Marcus noted that the sick bay was actually surprisingly light.

"My name is Dr. Francis. How may I help?" The older doctor's eyes rounded as he noted Amanda's appearance.

"My daughter has a gun shot wound, she has lost some blood and she is dehydrated. I need her to be bathed, changed, and be given some water with salt. My name is Dr. Marcus Spencer. I was one of the Chief Physicians on the Titanic."

The older man nodded and then motioned them to a small bed. Marcus laid his daughter upon it. Will bent down and kissed her softly on the forehead.

A nurse walked up to them. She was rather young looking and had blonde hair.

"Nurse, please set up a bath and wash this young lady down. Also, there is an injury to her shoulder and she needs fluids." The doctor said.

"Of course Doc." She said with an Irish accent. "Gentlemen, please give us some privacy." She said softly.

Both men didn't want to leave her but she needed the care and the rest. Both men looked at each other and then back at Amanda. She whimpered as the nurse started to take her top two layers of clothing off. The blood stain from her wound got even more vivid as each layer was removed. Will turned his head as he saw the blood. He silently cursed himself out of guilt and disappointment.

The nurse looked up and saw the men still at her bedside. "Gentlemen, she is in good hands, please. You can both see her later this afternoon." She said with a stern voice.

"I can stay, I a doctor and I am also her father." Marcus was instinctively afraid.

Will looked over at him with sad and tired eyes. He secretly wished it was him who could be with her, but they weren't married, and her father would have the last word.

The nurse walked over to where they both stood. "I understand that you are afraid, please believe me. I promise you she will be safe and sound. I understand that you are a doctor, but she is your child. I cannot allow you to stay."

Marcus nodded in understanding and looked over at Will. "Let's go and find where our rooms will be." Marcus left and shut the curtain behind him, leaving a maudlin-looking Will still by Amanda's bedside. He took one last look and bent down and gently kissed her by the mouth.

"I love you Mandy." He said softly, caressing her face.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled weakly then mouthed "I love you" to him.

He grinned and then took his leave, closing the curtain behind him.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Will took a much needed nap right after he received his stateroom assignment. He felt like he was asleep for only five minutes when there was a knock on the door. He stirred and then turned over. Maybe if he ignored whomever was on the other side of the door, they would go away.

"Will, it's Lights, I know you're in there. Open up." Lightholler continued to knock.

Will opened his eyes wide. He slowly rolled out of the bed and shuffled over to the door. He opened it and saw a very sleep deprived Charles Lightholler.

"Well it looks like I am not the only one who was able to leave unscathed." Lightholler said.

Will grinned and shook his head. "Come in you bastard."

Charles chuckled and happily obliged, shutting the door behind him. After a moment of silence, Charles spoke up.

"We are most likely to going to be inquired about the sinking." Charles lighted a cigarette.

Will nodded in understanding and sat down in his chair. "Are we going to be issued new uniforms? My closets are a wee bit barren.." He pointed to the closet.

"I asked the same thing when I arrived." Charles then smiled. "I've known you so long I remembered your measurements. We will get them tomorrow afternoon, two sets."

Will smiled then shook Charles' hand. "Thanks old chap."

"So is Amanda on board?" Charles was oblivious to what transpired the night before.

Will's tired but happy faced suddenly turned morose. Charles crooked his head to the side. "What's wrong?"

He sighed then wiped a small tear from his eye. "She is um...well..."

Charles bent down at Will's side. "What happened?"

"She is down in the sick bay. Hypothermia and dehydration." Will skirted the issue of the bullet wound. He would never tell Charles or anyone else of her saving him from himself...


	20. Breaking Down the Walls

**CH 19**

 **BREAKING DOWN THE WALLS**

"Miss Spencer?" A gentle voice lingered in Amanda's ears. She continued to keep her eyes shut, thinking it was just a dream. The source of the voice gently squeezed Amanda's left hand.

Amanda's eyes slowly opened and she saw the doctor and nurse standing by her bedside. As her eyes began to focus, she could see her arm was in a sling, she was in a clad hospital gown, and flowers by her bedside on the stand.

"How are you feeling dear?" The nurse asked.

She couldn't comprehend what was happening. The last thing she remembered was being stripped down by the nurse, bathed and then given something to help her sleep.

"What?" Amanda was groggy.

"You have been asleep since yesterday morning. It is now Monday morning, almost nine." The doctor explained.

Amanda rubbed her eyes and then tried to sit up. She felt much better than she did 24 hours before.

"You had minor surgery yesterday. I am sure you don't remember. That is what ether will do to you." The doctor chuckled. "You are going to be just fine, we just want you here for one more day for more observation. Liquids and rest is the best thing for you right now. We won't be getting to New York until Wednesday morning."

"Has my father or fiance been here?" Amanda asked.

The nurse smiled. "Yes, as a matter of fact, your fiance has been checking on you very much. So much that we practically had to order him to get some rest. Your father has been the same."

Amanda smiled.

"Your color looks so much more improved than yesterday. You think you can walk around some? Get your blood flowing?" The doctor asked.

"Are you sure its alright? I won't faint or anything?"

The doctor grinned. "You have had fluids given, your pulse has been checked hourly. I don't see why you can't walk just fine."

Amanda nodded and then pushed the covers back. The nurse grabbed a hospital robe and handed it to her. Amanda put it on and then stood onto the ground. She did indeed felt steady and restful. She slipped her feet into some slippers and slowly took some steps around the bed.

"May I leave the sick bay?" She asked. She wanted to see Will and her father desperately.

"I think for now you should stay on the hospital deck." The doctor advised.

Amanda nodded in understanding, slight disappointment on her face.

"You walk around, and I will get you some breakfast dear. We have a table in the sitting area." The nurse said.

"I could use some real food." She smiled. "Is oatmeal with toast and jam too much to ask for?" Amanda's stomach rumbled.

The nurse nodded and walked off.

"She will be back soon, in the meantime, walk around, we have some activities going on, cards, painting, we even have some books. All in the recreational area, help yourself." The doctor padded her on the back gently then went off to make some rounds.

Amanda sighed and then started over to the sitting area of the deck. It felt good walking, and the pain in her shoulder was much more tolerable. She came across a man sitting on a small couch. His head was in his hands. As she got closer, she could recognize the dark hair with slight gray. His scent was of cologne and sea salt. Her heart fluttered.

"Will?" She cocked her head. The man raised his head and then looked over at Amanda. A huge smile came across his face.

"Amanda! Darling!" Will shot up and took her into his arms, carefully. She nuzzled her head into his chest.

"My William." She felt her words choke. He stroked her hair and then parted from her. Tears of joy streaming down his face.

"You look so beautiful." Will noted. Her hair was down, her skin was back to its normal tan hue. Her eyes sparkled.

She burst out into laughter. "William I am in a hospital gown! How can I possibly be?"

He ignored her and drove his mouth onto hers, in a passionate kiss. Amanda's eyes flew open and she immediately backed away.

"William Murdoch we will get kicked out of here!" She laughed.

"Then let's go." He said.

Her face quickly contorted into confusion. "Pardon me?"

"You are fine, let's get you out of here. Some ladies got you some new dresses and other things and one of them has been asking about you."

"Who?" She asked.

"A Mrs. Margaret Brown. You have been the subject of many conversations. Some people say that when they saw you do what you did, they wanted meet you." He said then looked down with a look of misery.

Amanda caressed his cheek with the hand of her good arm. "That is one circumstance I would not want to meet someone under." She said softly.

He looked up at her and then kissed the palm of her hand. After a moment, he swiftly took her into his arms and started for the doors. The quickness of it shocked her.

"Will, where are we going? I am still under observation!" She exclaimed. He took his foot and lightly kicked the door open and then put her down on the other side. He then took her by the hand and led her down the corridor and up a ladderwell and then to an elevator.

The elevator attendant smiled. "Where to?"

"B deck please." Will said. Amanda looked over at him. She got close to his ear. "What are we doing?" She whispered frantically.

"You will see." He muttered. She looked up at him and then rubbed her arm in anxiety.

The elevator came to a halt and the attendant opened the doors for them. Will took her hand and led them down a short corridor and to a door. The front had a little label with Will's rank and name on it.

He opened the door and led her in, shutting the door behind them. The room was much larger than his old cabin on the Titanic. There were a couple of small windows that let sunshine in the room. She looked on as Will closed the curtains and went and lit a candle by the bed.

"Will my father will be worried." She began to worry about what was going on.

He turned around and walked up to her. She stood, gazing up at him. Her light pink hospital robe was half open, her hair cascaded around her shoulders, she looked like the most beautiful illusion he had ever laid his eyes on.

"Mandy, what you did for me is something I don't know how to make up for." He bent down on one knee and took one of her hands in his. She looked down at him.

"The past 24 hours had me think of everything that had went on between us. Us first meeting, my hearing the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. I never intended to fall in love so fast, and so strongly."

She smiled lightly as she listened to him speak.

"You saved my life Mandy and you have changed it. I want to give you the world, and I want you in my life forever." He stood up and before he could say another word, she reached up and kissed him tenderly.

"I love you William Murdoch." She whispered. "You will always have my heart and my soul."

He picked her up and gently placed her on the bed. "Stay with me. The door is locked, we have each other. No more meddling friends or fears." He kissed her softly on both of her eyes.

"I want to lay beside you William, I want to feel complete." She whispered with lust.


	21. Two Becomes One

** _ **This is not a drill, this is the chapter of all chapters****_ **MATURE CONTENT**

 **** _NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT HERE**_**

 **CH 20**

 **TWO BECOMES ONE**

Amanda took her arm out of her sling; at that very moment, she felt like she was in an euphoric state. She felt no pain at all and at that moment of her tossing her sling aside, she felt Will come up from behind and hug her to him. She closed her eyes and slightly gasped as he began to place gentle kisses along her neck. The feeling of his warm mouth was enough to send a shock wave through her veins, capillaries, and to the very core of her being. There was another involuntary response that she began to feel that made her warm throughout her body. That untouched part of herself responded naturally and it made her want more of him that very moment.

She turned around swiftly and put her good arm around his neck; she brought her hand to the back of his head and drove her mouth into his. His tongue invaded her mouth gently, she moaned in response. Trying to maneuver her other arm, she began to unbutton his shirt, revealing a few wisps of hair in the middle of his chest. She took her fingers and felt the soft hair under her hand. She felt him gasp softly in their kiss and it was at that moment, he took her hand and brought it to his mouth. He began to kiss every finger and it made the anticipation of the inevitable milestone moment between them ever more painful.

In one swift move, he picked her up and placed her gently onto his bed and climbed up to her. In response, she opened her legs slightly and felt him unbutton the top of her hospital pajamas. She could feel her nipples harden as he opened the front of her top. She looked up at him with eyes of desire and longing. He took his shirt off and began to unfasten his pants. As he pulled his pants down, through his underwear she could see the response of the build up to the moment. Her eyes widened slightly as she began to realize that her time had come. She was excited to share such a gift to a man she loved and in return, loved her, but the anxiety of it was also apparent.

He took ahold of the top of her pants and slowly pulled them down, revealing her most private of areas. She swallowed hard as he removed the last pant leg and bent down to kiss her ankle. She closed her eyes as she felt a sense of vulnerability; she could feel the hairs on her arms stand as felt him kiss the top of her collar bone. He left a slight trail of saliva as he continued down, between her breasts, and around her belly button. She opened her eyes again and saw that he too was nude. Her eyes bulged as she saw the flesh of a man for the first time. She did know about the subject of the male body from school, but seeing it in the flesh made it more incredible. She shift her hips as she felt a wetness in between her legs. She was now desperate for this man to invade her, to make her a woman and to feel what lovemaking was like.

He seemed to read her mind and he crept up and hovered over her. He looked down upon her and kissed her passionately. After a moment his mouth made its way to her ear.

"Feel how much I want you?" His soft voice was full of lust and love. "I love you my sweet." He whispered.

He burrowed himself between her legs; she could feel his hardness against her thigh. While he continued to kiss her mouth, he moved himself to her entrance.

He noted her physical reaction to his passions and stopped kissing her.

"Open your eyes Amanda.." He commanded gently.

She opened her eyes; he gently entered her, only to be stopped by her virginity. She slipped her arms into his and brought him closer to her.

He put his mouth on hers and then in a swift thrust, he broke her. She arched her back and whimpered in his kiss; he gently buried himself slowly to get her to be used to him. She felt a combination of pain and a warmth building up in her pelvis. After a moment he started to slowly increase his speed. He could feel her start to relax.

"Amanda...how do you feel?" He asked then caressed her face.

She looked up at him. "I feel warm."

Will smiled tenderly then turned them over and sat her up. He sat himself up to look right into her eyes. She instinctively began to grind up against him. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly as they began to rock back and forth. He took his hands and started to rub her scalp. Her wavy, chestnut tresses created a veil around them as they kissed once again. She started to feel the warmth radiate to her legs; she tried to wonder what the new feelings were as she continued to move with William. After a moment, she realized she was close to her first orgasm.

She tightened herself around William and increased her speed. The pain turned to pleasure as she continue to build herself up.

"Will...I am so close..." She felt him grab her hips and flip them once again to where he was back on top. He increased speed even more, sweat dripping off his brow and onto her tan breasts. His mouth crashed into hers as he too could feel himself close to climax.

Amanda's back arched and her hands gripped his blankets as she reached her apex. His body became rigid as he too was at his.

"Look into my eyes." He gasped as he increased his speed. She opened them and saw his dark blue eyes were now an icy blue. She looked into them as he gave one final, hard thrust.

"Amanda!" He yelled. She could feel a sudden warmth inside her, she then realized what he did and her eyes rounded in fear. He collapsed on her, not so much since he had outweighed her by about fifty pounds.

She could hear his heart beat immediately. The room was otherwise silent. Amanda's fears started to subside as she realized they were to be married when they ported in America. She wanted to bear him children, and in turn she felt he wanted her to as well.

After several moments, she felt like she was slowly falling from her cloud and back into reality. The sudden need to sleep had came upon her, and from the looks of Will, he was already there. She smiled and then gently pushed him off and she sat up to get the covers out from under her.

Will opened his eyes and then grinned warmly. "Sleepy my love?"

As she was about to respond, she noted a stain of what looked to be blood on his top blanket. The spot was small but she immediately knew what it was. Her virginity was gone, she now felt complete.

Will noted her concern and took her into his arms. She nestled in the crook of his shoulder as they both drifted off into much needed sleep.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Marcus Spencer walked into the hospital wing with a couple of tea roses in his hand, he had heard from the night shift doctor that she was thriving and he wanted to see for himself.

He walked up to her curtain. "Mandy love, good morning, are you decent?"

There was no answer. After a moment, he bit his lip and pulled her curtain back. Her bed was empty, the sheets were crumpled at the foot of her bed. He looked around for anyone to inquire her whereabouts.

After a moment, the day shift surgeon came around looking intensely at some sort of paperwork.

"Doctor. Has my daughter been discharged?" Marcus asked.

The doctor looked at him and then walked up to bed. He picked the clipboard up and looked at the notes.

"Hmm..no Sir, she has another day here for observation. She may be in the sitting room. You may follow me if you wish." The Doctor smiled gently and had Marcus follow him into the smaller room. There was no one in there except for an older man who was sipping a hot drink and smoking a pipe.

"Sir, have you seen a girl in here, she has long brown hair, brown skin? American accent like mine." Marcus cocked his head.

The man looked up and shook his head "no".

Marcus looked around and tried to figure out where she could have gone.

"Sir, would you like for me to alert the ship?" The doctor asked. He noted Marcus' face.

After a moment, Marcus felt like he had figured where she was. He looked over at the doctor and shook his head. "I have an idea of where she could be. She is a wanderer, she probably got tired of being inside." Marcus then shook the doctor's hand and headed out the doors of the wing. On the outside he looked calm, but he had a gut feeling that something was not right and he started to grow angry.

He looked for the ship secretary to inquire the wardroom assignments for the officers on board. He figured she would be with Murdoch since she didn't have a room assigned to her and because he had known about Will waiting around for her to wake up after her surgery. He was seeing red and was afraid for the worst...


	22. Just One Look

**CH 21**

 **JUST ONE LOOK**

"Sir, I cannot give this information out. I am afraid." The ship's secretary kindly told Marcus. Marcus tapped his fingers on the table in impatience. He rolled his eyes.

"I understand that this man is an officer with the White Star Line, but I am looking for my daughter who may be doing God knows what with him and I need to find her, she is supposed to be in the sick bay."

The younger man looking into the father's eyes. "Is she in any danger Sir?"

"No, she just had some surgery is all. On her shoulder."

"How old is she?"

Marcus' shot a look of confusion. "What difference does that make?"

The ship's secretary sighed. "I need to know every detail before I summon the Master-At-Arms Sir. What is her age, physical charact"-

"Her name is Amanda Morgan-Spencer, she is 22 years old, she has brown hair, tan skin tone, and has a beauty mark below her left eye. She is engaged to Officer Murdoch." Marcus quickly cursed himself when he gave away the information of them being betrothed.

The ship's secretary rolled his eyes. "Do you have any proof she is in Officer Murdoch's stateroom? Have you checked other parts of the ship?"

Marcus' face turned red. "She belongs in the hospital wing, we were passengers on the Titanic we wouldn't know where to go."

The young officer turned around and snapped his finger. An older gentleman came forward.

They both stepped away from Marcus and were quietly talking back and forth. Marcus watched them intensely.

After a moment, the older man came forward. "Good morning Sir, I am the Chief Master-at-Arms here. Officer O'Reilly has advised me of what is going on. Sir, there is no reason to disturb Officer Murdoch. Your daughter is an adult, I can see a man before me who is acting out of fatherly love." The Master-at-Arms padded Marcus' hand softly.

Marcus looked up at him and nodded.

"I am willing to bet she will be back in the wing soon." He smiled and winked. Marcus nodded in response and then walked out of the ship's administrative office.

"Sir!" The Master at Arms yelled. Marcus turned around.

"When you see him, please don't hurt him. You all have been through enough. Try and relax, if anything major does happen, come see us at once."

"Will do." Marcus replied.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Will opened his eyes and looked over at his bedside clock. It was nearly noon. He chuckled to himself as he turned over and found Amanda sleeping on her stomach, the sheets were crumpled near the foot of the bed, giving a nice view of her flawless back and top of her buttocks. He bent down and lightly kissed the small of her back. This caused her to stir. She turned her head and looked into his eyes.

"Good afternoon darling." He whispered in his husky, Scottish voice.

"Hmmmm.." He hummed sleepily. She grinned at him. "What time is it?" She whispered.

"Around noon." He caressed her back.

Amanda closed her eyes and then slowly turned over, grabbing a sheet to cover herself up. Her hair was a beautiful mess.

"I need to go back to the sick bay or my father will have a heart attack." She giggled.

"Are you in any pain?" He asked.

"A little. Nothing I cannot manage." She moved her arm and then seized immediately. "Ow!" She grabbed her shoulder.

"Let's get you back love." Will said then grabbed her gown and her sling off of the floor. She looked at him and noted how perfect he looked. Her first man ever and he looked so perfect. Her heart started to flutter.

"Will..." She whispered.

He turned around. "Yes?" He noted a carnal look of desire in her eyes and the way her hair and lips looked, he too started to feel what she was feeling.

He dropped everything and got back in the bed with her, carefully taking her into his arms. He started to kiss her neck, causing her to coo softly. She forgot all about her arm as he continued to take his passions out on her neck. She felt him start to become aroused as he moved his mouth down to the valley between her breasts. The feeling of his mouth on her chest set a new fire within her. She instinctively arched herself towards him and wrapped her legs around him.

In one swift motion, he entered her, causing her to howl in pleasure. This time it wasn't like the first, he moved inside her like a man insane and she grabbed a hold of the sheets. He moved up and devoured her mouth, she started to grind against him. This was better than the first time, and it caused her to feel bold.

She seized their kissing and grabbed his chin. "I want you to be under me." She breathed. He looked into her eyes with intensity and flipped them over. With her good arm, she raised herself up and looked down upon him. He looked up at her and saw his angel, her hair all tossed around, lips pink from their kissing. She began to grind against him savagely and popped her hips. His eyes rolled back into his head as he was near his climax. He grabbed her hands as he began to wither from beneath her.

"Amanda!" He hissed through gritted teeth. She slowed her movements down as she began to feel him quiver within her. This time she wasn't able to get hers but she was satisfied at the sight of Will being in such ecstasy.

"How is this even happening?" He asked her.

She looked down upon him and smiled. "Why even ask?"

He took her into his arms and kissed her brow. The sound of his pounding heart echoed in her ear.

"You could have any man in the world, you chose me..." He whispered. He ran his fingers up and down her spine.

She got up on her good arm. "I fell in love with you." She looked into his eyes.

"And I you." Will caressed her face. She closed her eyes at the touch of his hand. She didn't want to leave the comfort of his arms and bed, but she knew in the back of her mind that her father and possibly all of the hospital staff was looking for her.

She carefully rolled over and grabbed her gown and sling. "I really need to go back." She sighed as she slipped her gown over her head. She walked over to his mirror and moved her hair around. It was a mess.

Will climbed out of the bed and slipped his underwear on. He then picked her sling off the bed and motioned for her to turn around. He gently put her arm into the fabric sling.

"I am going to go on my own, I don't want you to get the wrath of my Dad." She said.

He nodded in understanding. "You know your way to the hospital?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. A day of complete boredom lies ahead. I will try and convince them I am fine."

She grabbed her robe off the floor and put it on. Will then took her into his arms again.

"I love you." He kissed the top of her nose which made her laugh.

"I love you too."

"I will come by later and eat supper with you." He said then tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

She grinned then gave him a quick peck on the lips. She turned around to give him one last smile before opening the door.

The grin quickly turned into a gasp as she saw her father standing by the door with a look that she had never seen before...


	23. A Father's Word

**CH 22**

 **A FATHER'S WORD**

Amanda quickly shut the door behind her to prevent her father from seeing Will's half naked state. The look her father had was one of contempt; she didn't know what to do or say. She stood frozen.

"What are you doing out of the hospital?" He asked.

Amanda looked at him questionably. "I am fine, I was bored, I wanted to roam." She then began to walk down the corridor to go back to the hospital.

"We are not done talking." He said behind her. She turned around. "Dad I am fine, I was just out and about, you know how boring hospitals are, there is nothing to talk about."

He walked up to her. "Oh yes, there is."

She rolled her eyes. "Dad why are you treating and talking to me like I am some teenager who came in late after curfew?"

"I am looking out for your best interest. You have no idea how much I was worried!" He exclaimed.

She took a step back to lean up against the wall. The man's voice had evidence of anger, relief, and parental worry.

"Whose room were you in?"

She looked up at him with eyes of disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"I am waiting for an answer!" He was stern. Too stern for her liking.

She blinked and after a moment she finally answered. "My private life is not yours to dig into on demand!" She yelled back. "I am a woman, a woman who has never had the delight or time to spend time with a man who is not her Father." She crossed her arms, starting to feel uncomfortable at the way the conversation had turned.

"You were in his stateroom." He muttered. "You look like someone who...who..." He couldn't find the words.

She raised her hand up and showed him the ring that Will had given her. "We are going to be married as soon as we get to New York. Yes, I made love to him, and yes it was everything I hoped it to be."

Marcus heaved a huge sigh and shook his head. "You _hardly_ know him!" He exclaimed. "My God Amanda, he is a sailor! Do you honestly think that once we get to the states that this will all turn out like you are envisioning it? Honey he is a sea officer who is so much more experienced in the ways of the world than you are. You need to open your eyes-"

"My eyes are open." She cut him off. "You do not know what all had happened before you came about. He is genuine and you are afraid of letting me go."

Marcus turned around briefly and put his hands in his pockets. She knew this move all too well. It was the stance he made before yelling at her. She remembered getting a bad grade on a report card or a detention slip and he would always do the exact before resorting to yelling at her.

"Mandy, I have just retired after twenty eight years of being a sailor. You are naïve." He said in a low voice.

She walked around to face him.

"You were an officer in the modern _American_ Navy Dad. Plus you haven't had the chance to get to know him." She said. "You and Mom fell in love and got married quick, why is it so different with me?"

"Amanda do not try and justify this. You were close to death, a bullet in your arm because of him!" His raised with every word. "I didn't raise you to be do stupid."

She looked dumbfounded. "You haven't the slightest idea what stress and what anguish he felt after shooting Tommy Ryan! How dare you bring that up." She crossed her arms. "So is this how you really feel?"

Her father stared at her intensely. "I am just looking out for your best interest. He is not good for you. Mandy you need to finish college and go on, find yourself."

She rolled her eyes. "I am twenty two years old, I know what I want for myself. I love Will and I wouldn't be here, away from the luxuries of the modern world if I wasn't meant to have him." She turned around and headed back to the hospital.

"This conversation isn't over." He shouted behind her.

She ignored him as she made her way to the ladderwell. She took her time as she took each step one by one. As she got to the end of the passageway, a familiar face caught her eye.

"Sara?" Amanda asked.

Sara turned her head and smiled. Amanda ran up to her and gave her a light hug with her good arm.

"What brings you down here?"

Sara looked up at her. "To see you silly." Then her smile turned to a frown. "And John."

"What happened to him?" Amanda asked. She noted how tired and sick Sara had looked. Her normally curled hair looked dry and unkempt. There were slight bags under her eyes, like she hadn't slept in days.

"He was saved from the water. He somehow mustered the strength to get the attention of a lifeboat." Tears started to form in her eyes. "He has hypothermia and his memory is faded." Her voice cracked. "He also has this big gash on his head."

Amanda listened on as Sara's tears began to fall.

"He doesn't know who I am." She cried. Amanda took her into her arms. She rubbed the girl's back gently.

"He will come around, it may be temporary." Amanda knew from her father that amnesia most of the time was temporary and the fact he was in freezing water for so long, and because of the head injury, it was easy to think he could of had a concussion.

"Come with me, I am in trouble for leaving the hospital." Amanda said with a giggle. This made Sara smile a little despite her broken heart.

Sara opened the door for her friend and both tried to sneak their way to where John was. Sara pointed to a curtain across from Amanda's and before they could get to John's cubicle someone tugged on the back of Amanda's robe.

"Where in heaven's name have you been?" The nurse didn't look too happy.

"Out." Mandy replied.

The nurse rolled her eyes and walked over to her curtain and snapped it open. "In the bed." The nurse said sternly.

"Ma'am I am not tired, sick or faint. I am bored. I will heal. There is absolutely no need to waste your time on me." Amanda was frustrated.

"Lass the Doctor ordered for you to stay in bed, so you have to do what he has ordered. I can get in trouble. In fact, I was given some few choice words earlier." She sounded tired and frustrated herself.

Amanda looked at her and then nodded her head. She climbed into the bed and just sat there looking at Sara.

"Miss, visiting hours won't be until later on before dinnertime. Mr. Thompson is doing fine, I assure you." The nurse patted Sara on the shoulder.

Sara walked off and the nurse then walked over to John's cubicle and closed the sheet behind her.

Amanda began to think about the events that had transpired that morning and into the afternoon. She felt a fullness in her now that she was no longer a virgin and at the same time, she felt like she was a woman. A true woman. She smiled to herself and hugged her knees to her chest. Laying her head on her knees. She missed Will already and hoped that her father would not confront him on what went on.


	24. The Real Me

**~Sorry everyone for the delay in chapters. I am juggling the Navy, college && then I have another fanfic in the works as well, anyway I am trying to make two different audiences happy! Ha! Anyway please enjoy the adventures of Amanda && William~**

 **CH 23**

 **THE REAL ME**

Will put some aftershave lotion in his hands and began to massage his neck. He slightly tilted his head and noticed the small love bite that Amanda had left on the side of his neck, above his collarbone. He smiled as he felt feelings of adequacy and want. It had been a struggle since the death of Ada, no one to come home to, no passionate affirmations of love, or even a passing glance from someone who made his stomach a flutter.

He knew in his heart that Amanda was the one that would make his life more worthwhile, more rich, and sweet. When he would look in her eyes every moment they would have together, everything made sense. Lightholler was right about one thing, she was not like Ada, in more ways than one. Amanda had spirit, intelligence, sensuality, and a wonderful sense of humor. He drifted off to the moment of when he first laid eyes upon her, _really_ laid his eyes upon her. It didn't quite phase him until she was in the wardroom with 2nd Officer Lightholler.

A knock on the door made his thoughts halt and his pulse jump.

"It's open!" He yelled. His voice was still coarse from shouting orders the night before.

Will's eyes rounded as he saw it was Amanda's father who appeared in the doorway. He would expect Lowe or Lights, but not Mr. Spencer.

"Um, Mr. Spencer? Is everything alright?" Will asked. He felt a twinge of fear travel up his spine. _How did he know where my cabin was?_ He thought to himself

Marcus looked down at his feet and shook his head. "I need to talk to you about some things." He coughed.

With a nod of understanding, Will fixed his tie and grabbed his top coat. Marcus held the door open for Will and led him to the end of the passageway.

"What is the matter?" Will asked.

Marcus grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall. Will's eyes bulged in shock.

"My daughter left your stateroom, I know what happened!" Marcus screamed.

It took a moment for Will to get his bearings. "You will take your hands off me." Will said ominously. He was not going to back down and act submissively any longer.

Marcus glared at him, red in the face. "It was bad enough that she took a bullet for you, but to give in to you? You seduced her!"

"I did no such thing!" Will shouted, inches away from Marcus' face. "She is not a child."

"She is _MY_ child!" Marcus screamed.

Nearby, Officer Lightholler and Officer Lowe was coming back from lunch when they heard the commotion.

"What the bloody hell?" Lightholler exclaimed as they turned the corner. Both men ran up to the arguing pair; Lightholler and Lowe went up to Marcus and pulled him away from Will. Marcus struggled as he was backed into the opposite wall. Will's hands flew to his neck.

"What is the meaning of this?" Lowe angrily asked.

"Your Senior Officer took advantage of my daughter!" Marcus shouted as he tried to fight off Lightholler.

Lowe snapped his head over at Will. Will looked back at him. "I did no such thing." Will tried his very best to be calm.

"Bullshit!" Marcus shoved Lightholler's arm away and tried to make a leap at Will. Lightholler looked over at Lowe. "Go get the Master-At-Arms!"

Lowe nodded and ran off. Lightholler shoved Marcus back up against the wall. "You are going to be arrested if you do not calm down." He said sternly.

"What is going on?"

All three men looked down the other end of the corridor and saw Amanda and another woman walking up. Sara followed a newly-dressed Amanda.

Amanda looked over at her fiancé and then over at her father whose form was pressed up against the wall. She noticed Will's appearance and was able to put things together.

"Lights, please let go of my Father. I promise you he will not lay a finger on Will while I am around." She said softly.

He hesitated to do as such fearing his friend would get injured. Amanda noted the hesitation on his face.

"Please."

Lightholler sighed then backed away from Marcus and walked over to his friend.

"Dad, what is going on?" She whispered to her father.

He looked over at her. "I was trying to save your honor." He said.

"Dear God, I am an adult. I thought we already resolved this?" She started to get angry.

"I am your father and I know what is best for you. We have a chance to leave here, and go back home, back to how things were before we left." His voice starting to rise.

Amanda's eyes squinted in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Marcus looked over at the two officers and then back at his daughter. "2013." He explained.

"Shhhhh!" She whispered. In desperation, she didn't want Will or Lightholler to hear. Marcus looked at her. "You didn't say anything?"

She shook her head and tried to notion to him to stop talking.

"Amanda what is going on?" Will cocked his head in concern. She ignored him as she glared at her father. "I am staying here."

Marcus' eyes rounded. "No, you are not. You are coming with me and we are going to live our normal lives. You are going to finish college and get that historian job that you wanted." He grabbed her good arm.

Will walked up to Amanda. "Amanda you can do all that when we are married." He said softly.

"Why won't you tell him the truth?" Marcus asked. He wanted the opportunity to get his daughter away from Will.

She looked down and closed her eyes. "Stop." Her voice cracking. "Please let me be happy."

Marcus let go of her arm. "We have a chance!" He exclaimed. "I will not leave without you."

She looked up at him. "You are going to have to." She said.

"Amanda what the hell is going on?" Will got in her face. He lifted her chin to make her look up at him.

Before anyone could say anything more, the Chief Master-at-Arms and his subordinate walked up.

"Officer Lowe said there was a fight?" The older man asked.

"Yes, this man here assaulted our senior officer." Lightholler explained.

The younger master-at-arms walked up to Marcus with handcuffs. "You are coming with us Sir."

Marcus snatched his hands away. "I will do no such thing. Amanda you are being stupid!" He yelled.

The older man grabbed Marcus and moved him away as the other slapped the cuffs on his wrist. "You are making a big mistake!" Marcus yelled as he was being hauled away. "Tell them! Tell them how we died and ended up here! Almost a hundred years!" He continued to yell as they turned the corner.

Amanda felt like all eyes were upon her.

"Has he gone mad?" Lowe asked.

"Crazier than a rat in a tin shithouse if you ask me." Lights said with a chuckle.

Will wasn't finding any of the situation amusing. He backed away from Amanda. Her arms were folded as she couldn't find the courage to look him in the eyes.

"It's true?" Will asked.


	25. Begs and Pleads

**CH 24**

 **BEGS AND PLEADS**

Lightholler and Lowe looked at each other with weird looks then back at Amanda and William. Amanda wanted nothing more than to be swallowed by the floor beneath them. If she was looking at herself from afar, she would see that her body language and the guilt-stricken look was a dead giveaway. She had nothing; no elaborate lie, no convincing story or explanation of what her father declared to everyone around her. She was left to her own devices at that point. She sighed in defeat and turned her attention to William.

"It's true. My name is Amanda Morgan-Spencer, that in its self is my identity, but I am not who you have truly come to know Will." She felt hot tears stream down her cheeks.

"My love for you is true, my heart and my soul." She felt pathetic as she started to cry. The other officers were staring at her in shock as Will glared at her. She couldn't really tell, but she thought she could see tears forming in his eyes.

"So all this time?" Will's voice cracked.

Amanda walked over to him and took his hands into hers. "I was in an accident, my father too. Somehow we both ended up here when we perished." She tried to look into his eyes.

"My god please look at me!" She cried.

Will snatched both his hands away from her and turned away. "You are a liar." He whispered.

Her nostrils flared and she walked around him. "Yes, I did lie, but if I was honest from the start, I would have been locked away! I would have been called crazy or mad. My love for you is true. My heart belongs to you and only you."

Lightholler walked over to her. "So you knew about the fate of the ship the entire time?"

She closed her eyes and nodded. "I tried to warn Will but it was in vain."

Lightholler laughed in disbelief. "This is madness." He shook his head. "So many people died and maybe, just maybe if you would have stepped in and said to us what you knew all along, this shit wouldn't have happened!"

"Did you not hear me a moment ago Lights? I tried my fucking best to get you all to understand. Please stop making this more painful than it already is! Ismay pressured the Captain to get to America faster than expected to make his headlines and the Captain didn't have the backbone to say no!" Her body started to shake.

Lowe cleared his throat. "Men, do not put this all on her. She is completely right." He said softly.

Amanda whipped her head over in Lowe's direction. "Thank you, at least someone understands."

"I don't want to lose you Will. I want to stay with you forever, you are my first in every way and that is the truth. The only thing that is clear is yes, I came here, a hundred years back under strange circumstances. My father as well. He wants me to go back with him and I don't want to be without you. Knowing you, you would want to stay, and if that means my having your heart, then I would do so, no questions asked." She got on her knees, looking up at him, her eyes red from the tears and mental exhaustion.

Will wouldn't say a word back but instead walked away briskly without warning. Lights chased after him while Amanda continued to sit on her knee and cry.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you Will?" Lights asked while walking behind him.

Will ignored him as he turned the corridor and walked into the officer's mess. "Bartender, a scotch please."

"Murdy, look at me God damnit!" Lights yanked Will's arm. Making Will nearly fall off the stool. "You are about to lose the best thing that ever happened to you!"

Will's face contorted into confusion. "Wait a minute, wasn't you who didn't want me to be with her? Wanting her all to yourself?" Will asked sarcastically.

The bartender placed a glass of scotch down in front of him. Will didn't hesitate to gulp down the entire glass.

"I do admit that yes, I am a dog. Sylvia can do better than me, yes, but in the last few days I have seen this wonderful change in you, just think-"

"I don't know who she is!" Will yelled. He slammed the glass down. "She lied about her coming from England and going back to New York, she lied about her father when he was on the ship the entire time, God knows what else."

Lights took a seat beside the distraught man. "She couldn't tell you the truth without you possibly dismissing her. Amanda has brought you life, joy, and complete bliss. I can look in her eyes and see her pain and at the same time relief of you finally knowing. She may be more advanced and come from some place more developed than now but one thing will never change. What love is. Doesn't matter if she was from the 1700s or 2200s, love will always be constant."

Will closed his eyes and let tears fall. Lights put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't let the best thing that happened to you go because she drives a car and you don't." Lights couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Talk to her, ask her some things, man.." Lights continued on. "Tell you what, tonight, let's all get together, and we all ask her what the future is like. We sit around some brandy and scotch and we throw a party." Lights smiled. "Come on Will..."

Will rolled his eyes and nodded. "I need some fun in my life. The last day and a half have nearly killed me."

"That's the spirit! Let's go get Amanda, you and her make up, yes, Lowe and I will give you both some much needed privacy and then-"

Lowe rushed in, out of breath, interrupting the two men. "It's Amanda, she is not well." He breathed.

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Amanda sat on the edge of the ship's bow, her legs dangling off, hands in her lap. She looked at the ocean, remembering what Jack had told Rose when she was contemplating jumping into the frigid water. Her father turned into a monster, the cat was out of the bag, and in her mind, Will was gone. Whatever way her father had known of them going back to 2013 wouldn't work. She would be stuck with him and without Will. Staying in 1912 would leave her to her own devices in a world she knew nothing about. At that moment, she took a piece of gum out of her mouth and threw it into the sea.

The three officers slowly walked up to her, stopping about ten feet behind her. Will took his coat off and slowly walked up beside her. She could see him from the corner of her eye but didn't turn to acknowledge.

"Mandy." Will whispered. "I am sorry my love."

She shook her head. "It's too late...my father is gone, now you."

"No, no, I was an arse. I am shouldn't of reacted the way I did. You had every right to keep silent about yourself." He carefully moved closer to her.

She looked away for a moment and then over in at him. "I gave you my virginity, my heart, my body, everything. Should that mean something to you?" Every word emphatic.

Will nodded. "Mandy, you gave those gifts to me because you love me, I will love you to my dying breath." His voice cracked. "Come down baby doll. Please." He pleaded.

She continued to sit a moment longer then turned around and noticed Lowe and Lights. "Is this a family affair?" She quipped.

Lights grinned and winked. "It is, I love you like a sister. Get off that damn ledge and come drink with us."

Amanda smiled weakly and then slowly turned her body. Will gently took her into his coat and into his arms. Holding her to him.

"Never do that again." He whispered to her. "I will go with you wherever." He stroked her hair and followed the other officers into the interior of the ship.


	26. The Unthinkable

**CH 25**

 **THE UNTHINKABLE**

"So what is it like? I mean it is the new millennium and obviously so much is different." Lights asked as he poured more shots for the rest at their table. It was late in the evening, Lightholler, Lowe, Will, and Amanda sat around a round table with a couple of bottles of brandy. Amanda was dressed in a more relaxed dress, her hair was down.

"Well of course it is different. Cars are commonplace, you can call someone from your car. You know how the men in the Marconi room had to use a telegraph to signal for help?" Amanda asked as all the men looked at her intently. She smiled. "You can now do what is called text messaging. Morse Code in 2013 is pretty much no longer used. There are airplanes, you don't have to cross oceans or seas to get to another country. You can fly." She said then took a shot of her whiskey. "That is how I came to Titanic."

"An airplane?" Lowe asked with a cocked head.

Amanda cleared her throat. "My father and I were flying back to the United States from Italy. You see, we both lived there while my father was finishing with the Navy. He was a Captain, now a retired Captain. He was a Navy doctor. We were on our way to Virginia to be exact. The airplane we were on had about 100 people or so. It crashed. The last thing I remembered before passing out was people going berserk and I thought I had saw my dead mother smiling at me. Like she was welcoming me to heaven." Her voice started to crack. "I woke up in some bedroom, where I was surrounded by lace and frills. I didn't know where I was. It was when my companion, Sara came into my room and was all excited about leaving for America. I didn't know who she was or what was happening but I had to try my best to play along and be like this person with whom she was friends with."

The men all started laughing. Amanda couldn't help but smile. "Sara, is that the girl who was with you when you came aboard?" Will asked.

Amanda nodded. "Yes her and all her porcelain glory."

"Well wouldn't she have been confused?" Lights asked.

Amanda took a sip of her brandy. "What do you mean?"

"I would think the Amanda she was friends with all that time before you came around would have looked different." He explained.

"Oh you mean as porcelain as her? That's a good call Lights. Very good call. Well she didn't see the difference." She looked at Will who was starting to look like the alcohol was starting to take its effects. He looked glassy-eyed and he looked at her with an amorous glint.

"Would you rather live here or in 2013?" Lights asked.

Amanda looked over at him and picked her glass back up. "Will's decision. He can come with me or I can stay here."

Will's eyes rounded. "Mandy don't put it on me, I will do whatever you want my love." He scooted over to her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.

His kiss took her breath away as she closed her eyes and melted into his kiss. He started to move his mouth to her ear. She gasped in surprise and in lust.

"Murdoch you dirty man you want to take this somewhere else?" Lights asked sarcastically.

Amanda gently pushed Will away. "I am sorry Charles, I think Will has had too much to drink." She breathed. Will then grabbed a hold of her chin and pulled her mouth to his again.

"Will, let's go somewhere more private love." She interrupted.

Will stood up, nearly knocking over his glass and took her into his arms and without warning walked through the doors of the officer's mess and walked down the corridor to his suite, kicking the door open.

"Guess it's safe to say this party is over." Lowe said as he poured himself another drink.

"She is going to be having his baby before the wedding." Lights chuckled as he drank the last of his brandy.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Will continued to kiss her as he pulled Amanda's sleeves down. She tried to grab a hold of his bed frame to prevent herself from falling.

"Will slow down." She whispered. He all but ripped the bodice of her dress and pushed her down onto the bed. She looked up at him, he was intoxicated. He unbuttoned his shirt and carelessly tossed it across the room. He pulled her dress off. "Wearing no corset I see? You little whore." He whispered. She became alarmed as she noticed this wasn't the same Will she had made love to and loved.

"I am wearing a slip." Her voice shivered. "After being in the hospital I am still feeling a little-"

Will interrupted her by slapping her across the face. "You wanted to seduce the others didn't you?" He asked, his breath reeking of alcohol.

Tears started to sting her eyes as she looked at Will in shock. "Will, let me go."

He looked down at her and then took her by the arm, the one that was injured and she screamed out in pain."

"You know Lights wants to fuck you. You want him too don't you?" He hissed in her ear.

She began to cry. "What are you talking about?" Her arm felt like it was on fire. "I love YOU!" She screamed.

"No No No Amanda, you want him, I saw the way you were looking at him and I saw him looking at you the same."

"I took a bullet for you..." She trailed off.

He then laughed and pushed her back onto the bed. "Oh I gave you my virginity, I sang to you, I gave you my heart." He imitated Amanda. This hurt her more than him grabbing her arm.

She turned her head away from him to not look at him. He was on top of her as he began to unzip his pants. Her whole body tensed up.

He opened her legs up with his knee and spat into his hand. She closed her eyes in fear and embarrassment.

Suddenly she felt him thrust hard into her and she yelped in pain. "NO WILL NO!" She screamed as he continued to push himself into her hard. He ignored her pleas as he drove into her without stopping. She tried to move from beneath him but it was to no avail.

"Please stop Will!" She screamed then suddenly she felt a shudder.

"Amanda..." A voice called out to her as she felt her shoulders being shook.

"Please don't do this!" She continued to scream.

"Amanda, what is the matter?"

Her eyes flew open and she looked up at Will who was cradling her in his arms. She immediately recoiled and crawled to the other end of the bed.

Will crawled over to her. "You were having a bad dream." He whispered.

It took her a moment to realize that she indeed had had a nightmare. She was in his room, in his bed. She then remembered that she and Will decided to nap before meeting Lowe and Lights for late night drinks. She was in a clad slip and he was only in boxers.

"What happened?" He asked as he hesitantly laid a hand on her foot.

She swallowed tears as she looked over at him. "The unthinkable and unspeakable." She started to cry.

Will cocked his head in concern. "What do you mean?"

She closed her eyes. "You were drunk. We had drinks with Lowe and Lights and you took me to your room and started to rip my clothes off and accuse me of wanting to be with Lights." She started to sob. "Then you forced yourself on me." She looked away in shame.

She heard Will gasp and take her into his arms. "Amanda, I would die before doing something like that to you or to anyone." He whispered. He rubbed her back affectionately. She cried into his chest. "It felt so real Will. I could smell your breath and feel you inside me."

"Mandy, you have gone through so much. This was out of stress." He said gently as he looked down upon her. He raised her chin and looked into her eyes. "I would never abuse you or make you feel less than who you are."

She looked down and back up at her. "I know. I know" Hot tears flowed down her face.

"I will order us something to eat and we will eat in here. We don't have to meet with Lights and Lowe. It is only after five. I can also go to the hospital deck and get you something to help you sleep later."

She nodded. "Lay with me, hold me." She whispered.

They laid down on the bed together, he took the covers and covered them both. They laid together spoon-style as he stroked her hair. Will felt terrified and guilty for the nightmare she had had. He felt her try and get comfortable, the poor woman.

"Will.." She whispered. "When we arrive in New York, let's get away."

He didn't reply but instead felt terrified of the dream and guilty for what had happened to her. He could not wait for the ship to dock.


	27. Orphan

**CH 26**

 **Orphan**

The rain drizzled as the ship moved past the Statue of Liberty. William stood behind Amanda, her head resting on his chest as they both looked up with tired eyes at the welcomed sight. William had the thought of a possible inquiry in the back of his mind, while Amanda thought of her father, still in the brig and him possibly trying to find her after the ship docked later in the night.

"Names please." A steward with a clipboard and umbrella came over to them.

Amanda cleared her throat. "It's"-

"Mr. and Mrs. William Murdoch." Will interrupted gently.

She closed her weary eyes and grinned. The sound of his voice saying those words were sweet music to her ears.

The Carpathia steward nodded and walked off to the next small group of people. Amanda turned around in Will's embrace.

"Mr. and Mrs. Murdoch?" She playfully asked with a raised brow.

"Well it will happen soon." He grinned wearily. She raised her hand up to his cheek, which had a hint of stubble. "You know it." She whispered and gently planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Finally we are in New York." Lightholler walked up to the embraced pair. "Who would have thought." He noticed the couple's angry looks.

"Did I interrupt anything?" He asked, looking at them. Amanda rolled her eyes, burying her face into Will's chest.

"You will both have _plenty_ of time for _this_." Lightholler motioned his hands at their form. Will grinned sarcastically then patted his friend's shoulder. "You always have to be a wise arse."

Amanda rolled her eyes.

"So when do you think we will be summoned?" Will asked while rubbing Amanda's back. Charles sighed and stretched his arms from the rails. "It could be tomorrow, or even next month. Lowe and Moody are petrified, of course. They are so young."

Amanda spoke up. "Are you in any trouble?" She knew that the lookouts didn't have binoculars and now one made the effort of alerting the Chief Officer or Captain of them being missing. With them being casualties of the sinking, she was afraid of Will being in the hot seat.

Lights looked over at Will then at Amanda. "If we are then it better be a damn good reason." His mouth taut.

"Don't you worry love, nothing will happen to us." Will said softly. Amanda couldn't help but speak up. "Not if Bruce Ismay has anything to do with it." She let go of him. "He will have to cough up an explanation and no doubt will he try and take you or Lights down." Amanda's face grimaced and she nervously tucked a strand of her stringy looking hair behind her ear.

"She does have a valid point." Lights said angrily.

"He is going to have a field day with all of you and I hope and pray that if any sane and reasonable person at the inquiry can see that all of you did your job and did it under pressure, then they will at least award you for bravery." Amanda crossed her arms. She was now upset at her words. She worried for the worst but hoped for the best.

"Don't be so hopeful. I am sure that Ismay knows someone who knows someone at that board." Lights threw his cigarette overboard.

Amanda stood there looking at him with defeated eyes. Will walked over to her and took her hand in his. "You are trying to be helpful love and I appreciate it but don't be surprised if you aren't married to a Chief Officer."

Amanda looked up and him. "Never say never."

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The Carpathia was anchored and tied later that night; it was a welcomed sight to the engaged couple. They were in Will's stateroom finishing the rest of their packing. Amanda could not stop adoring the couple of dressed that were donated to her by some of the First Class ladies that were onboard.

"This is so beautiful!" She held up a light blue dress and rubbed the lace on the cuffs. She winced slightly as her arm gave way to pain.

Will looked at her lovingly while fastening his bag. "We need to have that arm looked at again soon."

A loud and frantic knock on the door interrupted the two. "Enter!" Will yelled.

Moody's head popped through the open the door. "Sir, a word with you in private?"

The pair noted the serious look on his face and Amanda watched as he stepped out into the passageway. She forced herself to go back to folding her things and shove them as hard as she could into her carpet bag.

As she tried in vain to snap the over-filled bag shut, a curious looking object caught her eye. She reached into the side of the bag and pulled out a chain with a heart. Her eyes bulged as she opened the locket and saw her father on one side, and her mother on the other.

In color.

She licked her dry lips and without further question unhooked the latch and with shaking hands fastened it around her neck. The locket belonged to her before coming to the Titanic...before everything had changed. When things were normal.

Will's door opening made Amanda jump out of her thoughts and she turned her attention over to Will. His face was ashen, the same look on his face when the iceberg hit. She cocked her head to make out the reasoning.

"Everything alright?" She forced a smile. He slowly walked over to her, his mouth shifting to try to spit words. She could feel sweat form under her arms. Something was not right.

"I do not know how to tell you this." He took her warm hand into his colder one. She could feel herself rooted into the floor.

"Then just say it." She muttered, not able to take her eyes off of his.

He heaved a sigh and looked into the floor, as in not able to look her in the eye. She moved her head to look into his eyes.

He mustered the courage to look into her brownish green eyes. "Your father is dead." His voice was neutral.

She continued to stare at Will before bursting into an incredulous laugh.

"Very funny." She managed to say. He shook his head and squeezed her hand. "Amanda, I am sorry."

After a moment of seeing him not budge, her face contorted into one of confusion. "I don't understand, he is in the brig."

Will swallowed before giving her the grisly details. "Mandy, he took his own life. The Master-At-Arms came down there earlier to give him his belongings back and to let him go. They found him hanging from the top bar of the door to his cell." With his other hand he reached to caress her face.

She immediately yanked her hand out from his. "That's a lie!" She shrieked. "How dare you make up some sick lie about my father!"

Will shook his head no and took both of her hands. "It is not, I would never make something like this up." He touched her face. "Never."

Amanda once again broke herself away from Will and darted towards his door. "I want to see for myself." She cried. She opened Will's door and saw Moody and Lowe out in the passageway.

"One of you take me to the Master-At-Arms office." She demanded.

Moody walked over to the distraught girl. "I..I cannot do that."

She looked at him and bit her lip. "Will told me he killed himself. That isn't true!" He looked over at Lowe as if for help. Lowe gave him the same look back.

"Why can't I see him?" She cried.

Lowe walked over to her and tried to calm her down. "I am sorry Miss Spencer."

"Stop apologizing to me and take me to my father damn it!" She screamed. Tears started to form in her eyes. Will walked up to her from behind and took her into his arms.

"NO! Please I have a right to see my father!" She yanked herself out of Will's grip and ran out into the passageway and started searching for any help to see her father. Harold and Will started after her.

As she started for the stairs, she saw a sign with an arrow for the ship's hospital.

And the morgue.

She started down the ladderwells until she got to C deck. The familiar polished floors that led to the ship's infirmary also led to the makeshift morgue, which was identified by a creepy skull and crossbones painted on the double doors. She stared at the double doors as if she was trying to burn into the painted wood.

After a moment she shook her head as if she was trying to convince herself he wouldn't be behind those doors. She laughed to herself and pulled the doors open. She gasped as she spotted two beds by the wall. Both were covered in cliche white sheets.

She closed the doors behind her and scuffled over to the first bed. She swallowed and hesitated for a moment. As she reached for the sheet, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

After a brief moment of finding courage, Amanda finally pulled the sheet away...

"NO!"

She felt arms pull her away from the bed and her face buried itself into Will's chest. She started to sob violently. Her father was indeed dead, the ligature marks were purple on his neck. His eyes still open.

She collapsed onto the floor, bringing Will with her while he still hugged her tight to him.

"I have no family left..."


	28. Last Minute Ideas

**CH 27**

 **LAST MINUTE IDEAS**

"All Titanic crew will need to report to the main terminal for their lodging assignments!" The short and stout man on the bull horn stepped off the platform. Amanda was very relieved to be back in America, but after the death of her father, and his quick burial at sea, she was emotionally and mentally exhausted. After thanking the officers and the crew of the _Carpathia_ for their services, she had retired to her bed. Not wanting to see anyone, including William.

Amanda watched as William took her bag and with the other hand, helped her off of the ship onto the dock. Her stringy, unwashed hair flew in all directions as the wind off the water blew ferociously. She picked her bag up and followed Will, Charles, and Harold into the main terminal near the main docks. The door slammed shut hard from the wind, causing Amanda to jump.

"Fortunate to be the first ones in here." Charles quipped. He took out a cigarette and lit it. Harold rolled his eyes. "You know you cannot smoke in here." Charles looked around. "There is no sign telling me I can't."

"Good morning folks, names please?" A middle-aged man came from a back room with a clipboard. His face immediately noted Amanda's sullen expression and her tired eyes.

"My dear, what is a flower such as yourself look so blue?" Amanda looked up at him, figuring he was talking to her. She had never heard such a stupid question.

"Sir, with all due respect, if your ship was sinking and you were shot in the arm, you too would look like this." Her voice was meek yet emphatic. "If your father went crazy and then took his life, all in less than twenty-four hours, you would not care how you looked."

William tightened his grip on her hand as he could feel fresh pangs of guilt coarse through his veins. He secretly wished that things would have been different; she didn't deserve the pain and anguish that she was feeling and a part of him felt like he didn't deserve the woman standing beside him.

"I am sorry ma'am, I truly am." The man spoke with sincerity. "May I have all your names please." He took the pencil from behind his ear.

"I am First Officer William Murdoch, this is my _wife_ Mrs. Amanda Murdoch." He could hear a snicker from behind him. He turned around sharply and gave Lightholler a stern look. Charles immediately took the cigarette out of his mouth. "I am Second Officer Charles Lightholler and to the left of me is Fifth Officer Harold Lowe. All Titanic officers."

The desk clerk finished scribbling the names and took out his record book. "Well you all are in luck, the inquiry is on Monday morning, nine o'clock sharp. You will have some time to get ready for it. For your rooms, you will be staying at Mrs. Ruby Blanchette's Bed and Breakfast. It is only a few blocks from here. She is expecting you considering she is only holding the officers. The rest of the surviving stewards and crewmen will be staying at the main barracks by the bay." He reached into his desk and brought out a few small bags.

"Gentlemen here are fresh socks, undershirts, and shaving supplies. Mrs. Murdoch I am sure that Mrs. Blanchette will have some things for you." He gave a warm smile.

"Thank you." Will said as he grabbed the bags and passed them amongst the other officers. "Shall we go to the bed and breakfast?" He turned around and followed Lights and Lowe out back into the howling wind.

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The four walked onto the stoop of the large house that served as the bed and breakfast. A quaint sign hung reading the name of Ruby Blanchette with several flowers. Amanda opened the door, a bell ringing on the top. All four dropped their bags in exhaustion, it was in a sad way comical.

"Nice little place here." Lightholler grabbed a piece of candy from a dish that was sitting on the small table by the front door. His eyes bulged and he immediately spit the piece out of his mouth. "Nasty! It's bloody sarsaparilla." William shoved him. "Serves you right."

An older boy came down the stairs in a hurry and grabbed an apron off the wall. "Sorry to make you wait." He said breathlessly as he tied the ties of the apron behind his back. He looked up at the four in the foyer and smiled. "Are you from the Titanic?" The pitch in his voice was almost childlike, causing Harold Lowe to smirk.

"Yes, we are. I hope the rooms are better than the candy you put out for your guests." Lightholler joked but yet it had a slightly serious undertone. Amanda's face reddened in embarrassment. She looked up at the now dejected-looking young man and weakly smiled. "I apologize, we are from Titanic. My name is Amanda Spenc- _er_ Murdoch." She quickly corrected herself. She motioned to her right. "This is my husband, First Officer Murdoch, and in the back is Officer Lowe and the clown is Second Officer Lightholler." Murdoch tried to stifle a laugh.

The blonde-haired man took out a wooden box. "My name is Peter Blanchette. My Mother, Ruby is the proprietor. She is out right now but she will back later in the day." He rubbed his hands together. "How long will you all be staying?"

"It is according to how long the inquiry is." Lowe gulped nervously.

Peter nodded slowly. "Well I am sure my mother is more informed than I am. Any who I will give you're your keys to your rooms." He handed a brass key to Officer Murdoch and then walked over to the junior officers behind Amanda and each gave them their own.

"Breakfast is served between seven and nine in the morning, expect on Sundays, that is when brunch is served between ten and noon. We do provide a light lunch from eleven to one during the week too." The four listened on.

"There are three washrooms upstairs. We do provide tubs for the rooms as well, wash basins and water pitchers are in all six rooms." Peter cleared his throat. "You are the only ones here. This place isn't very popular until the summer."

William took his fingers and motioned for him to come. He then whispered something into Peter's ear. Amanda looked over at him questionably. Peter nodded and then William shook his hand.

"Will, what was that all about?" She whispered. He ignored her.

After a momentary silence Lightholler spoke up. "How old are you lad?" Peter blushed. "I am seventeen Sir." Lightholler blinked. "You carry yourself very nicely."

Peter smiled. "Thank you!" His eyes lit up like a boy at Christmas. "If you all don't have any further questions, I can show you to your rooms."

Almost as simultaneous as when they first arrived, they all picked up their bags and followed the proprietor's son up the stairs. They were led down a long hardwood floored hallway; the walls were a pretty sage color with painted wisps of black.

"Officer and Mrs. Murdoch, this is your room." Peter opened the door to their room and took their bags and gently laid them by the bed. Amanda walked around and noted the large bed, their room had two French doors with lavender-colored curtains. New candles were placed in certain areas of the room.

"It is so romantic." She said quietly as she walked over to the French doors and opened them. She stepped out onto the balcony and noted the view of the nearby bay. Her hands covered her mouth in awe.

William stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms about her. "I wanted him to give us the best room in the house." He whispered in her ear. For the first time in a while, she started to shed happy tears.

She turned around in his embrace and kissed him softly; wrapping her arms around his neck. He stopped kissing her and smiled. "Tomorrow afternoon, let's go to the courthouse and make this official." He said.

Her eyes turned into saucers. "William! That is insane!" She laughed. "I don't have a dress, we will need witnesses and-" Will put a finger over her pouty lips. "You have those gowns that the First Class ladies gave you. We have Lights and Harold who will _love_ to see us marry. For once, do not worry." He hugged her tightly and kissed her once more.

" _Who will give me away?"_ She sadly thought.


	29. The Big Day

**Hello all my wonderful readers! This fanfiction only has one more chapter to go and then an epilogue. The last chapter will be the longest of the entire story and it will definitely add to the "fantasy" part of it. Some of you will laugh, cry, and even threaten me. It is all according to what your expectations are. Anyway, I thank you all for putting up with me and I hope that I have done a hell of a job. Please refer to my other fan fiction, "In a Perfect World" for your next Officer Murdoch fix. It is not your garden variety "Murdoch romance"; there will be drama.**

 _ **I ONLY OWN MY OWN TITANIC (1997) CHARACTERS. NO MONEY BEING MADE FOR THIS NOR AM I TRYING TO INFRINGE ON COPYRIGHTING**_

 **CH 28**

 **The Big Day**

Amanda stood in the wash room looking at the mirror. The nearly twelve hours of sleep she had did wonders for her eyes. She no longer looked weak and drained. The color in her cheeks came back, she felt like she more energy than before and was back to her old self again. She had awoken before Will did earlier that morning and woke him by seducing him gently. He was eager to reciprocate and they had made love with fervor.

Later in the afternoon she would go with Will to the courthouse, and become his wife. She couldn't help but feel a myriad of emotions; she was going to marry the first man she had ever truly fell in love with, but the death of her father left a void in her heart.

She bit her lip as she finished fastening the buttons and ties of her corset; never in her life could she imagine ever being used to wearing such an uncomfortable and hideous looking article of clothing.

" _How could any man think this is sexy?"_ She thought to herself. After a moment, she grabbed her hair brush and began to part a section of her dampened hair. The bath her and Will shared earlier after their breakfast was as welcoming as the sleep she received.

A smile came upon her face as she thought back to earlier that morning when her and Will were in their bath. Peter and a young woman brought in steaming hot water and they presented the "married couple" a basket with soaps and oils. She had pulled the cork out from the bottle of rose oil with her teeth which William found humorous. She couldn't help but feel a little bit vulnerable considering that she had never partook in showering or bathing with another man. The thought of her cleaning herself and her most intimate parts was unnerving.

The hot water and the softness of the rose oil was a welcomed treat considering how sore she had felt after the vigorous love making they had shared earlier that morning. William wasted no time in getting in the tub with her, sitting behind her and letting her recline in his arms. He took some of the shampoo offered to them and caressed her scalp, making her coo. The action also made her feel amorous and it turned her coos into moans. He got her long tresses into a lathered pile on her head and took a water pitcher and slowly poured the hot water.

" _Will…" She moaned. She slipped her head back and felt him kiss her brow. "You enjoying this love?" He asked as he took a bar of soap and dipped it into the water. She opened her eyes and watched him as he started to rub her arms down tantalizingly. He brought the bar of soap back up and rubbed it over her collarbone, snaking it over her breasts. Her nipples hardened at the gentle gesture; he avoided her private area and started on her legs._

" _I have to take the lead." She whispered, stopping his hands. She could not take it anymore. She turned around carefully, trying to avoid water hitting the floor and kissed him passionately. Her tongue easily invaded his mouth, her hands cupped his face. He grabbed the base of her head and moved his mouth to the bottom of her jaw._

 _She could not help but feel her way to his manhood and take him into her hand. His breathing started to become audible as she tried to drive him into the same frenzy as she was in. As she felt herself become more aroused, he stopped her, causing her eyes to fly open._

" _Please…" She breathed. He shook his head. "Later after we are married. I want to take that dress off of you and make love to you as your husband…."_

A knock on the door caused her to break out of her erotic thoughts. "Mandy, I am going into town. I will be back in time to go to the Justice of the Peace." William said behind the door. She put her hair brush down and turned to open the door.

"Everything alright?" She cracked it enough to see him but not enough to see her. He was in his uniform, freshly shaven and looking so handsome.

"Yes darling, just needing some things. See you in a little while." He leaned in and gently kissed her on the mouth. "Love you."

He walked off and she closed the door behind her. She continued to work half of her hair into a French braid and tied the end of it. She decided to do her hair into a dual French braid and tuck the ends into each other. As she took the other half of dampen hair, she began to braid it in haste. She started to wonder what he was going to be doing in town and whether or not she should be worried or not.

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She looked at the two dresses she was trying to decide on for a wedding dress. One was a blush colored gown with little flowers embroidered on the bodice. The scooped neck was not too low cut; it also sported long laced sleeves. The other dress was more of a lavender but had shorter sleeves. The taffeta shined and it had more a metallic sheen to it. The neck line was more of a square neck but higher than the first dress.

After a while, she looked one last time at the blush-colored dress and immediately it took off of its hanger and began to unbutton the buttons on the back.

" _How in the world am I going to put this on?"_ She thought to herself. She stepped into the gown, being careful not to step on the bottom of the dress. With carefulness, she turned the dress around so that the buttons were in the front and began to button as many as she could before getting to the one button that would be impossible to fasten unless the dress was worn the right way.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance and began to ponder her options: She could go downstairs and see if the only female in the house, Mrs. Blanchette was available, or see if Lights or Harold was in their rooms down the hall. After all, she knew them as much as Will, and it wasn't as she would risk running into any other housemates. After another moment of indecisive thinking, she turned the dress back around. Swallowing her pride, she put her arms in the laced sleeves and headed to Lights' room.

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William walked across the busy street in a hurry and immediately lifted the top flap of his coat up. The chill off the water nearby in the harbor combined with the wind created an atmosphere that almost mimicked the Titanic. He noted the small jewelry store on the corner of the main street and smiled in relief.

The wind made opening the front door of the shop difficult; he walked inside and almost immediately the door slammed behind him, waking up the jeweler behind the counter.

"Wha….What?" The older man said in slumber. William grinned at the jeweler and walked closer to the displays. "Good morning, I need to buy wedding rings."

The older man adjusted his glasses and stood up. "Sorry for my sleeping, I couldn't sleep last night." He sighed. "So you are getting married Sir?"

William smiled. "Yes, today in fact. I hadn't had the opportunity to shop around. A rather complicated story." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"So what did you have in mind Sir?" He asked as he went into the display cabinet and pulled out a small case of both men's and women's wedding bands. All in different sizes and metals; William immediately eyed the sterling silver collection.

"Well considering my fiancée's engagement ring is silver, I am going to go with just that." William pulled out his billfold. He had come into some money earlier that day by selling some things he had from Titanic to a collector across town. The collector was more than happy to take the items and even gave Will a good deal.

"Do you have an idea of her size?" The jeweler asked as he took a sip of his now cold coffee. Will closed his eyes and tried hard to remember. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I am going to say a six. I am a ten." He added. He remembered when he was married to Ada, the way he felt having to go about her wedding ring. It did not feel as blissful and wonderful as him marrying Amanda.

"Well then, I recommend these two." The jeweler held a ring in each hand. "These are sterling silver and they both have matching indentations around the edges." William took the one intended for him and looked at the fine detail. It was very unique and it was in a way a symbol of how they met: in a unique and beautiful way.

He looked up at the jeweler. "I will take them!" He said happily. The older man in turn smiled. "Alright, let's get you on the road to matrimony." He shook Will's hand. "Considering you are going to marry her later on today, do you even want me to put these in a box?"

Will shook his head no. "How much do I owe you?" He was nervous.

"Forty dollars." The older man answered. William gave him two twenties in turn and then shoved the rings back into his pocket. He put his black gloves back on a bade the elderly man goodbye. With that, he walked back out into the windy, crisp air and headed back to the bed and breakfast.

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Amanda hesitated at Lights' door; she hated having another man see her undergarments but it was for an innocuous reason. After a moment of staring at the door, she knocked. "Lights, it's me, I need help with something." She spoke softly. She bit her lip in nervousness as he didn't come to the door. She knocked again, this time more loudly.

"Hold your pants on damn it!" She could hear him approach the door and blushed. She backed up a little and anticipated him yelling at her.

He opened the door swiftly and before he could say something, his eyes rounded. She looked down in embarrassment.

"Wow…" He noted her hair and the dress. Even though she had not put her makeup on yet, she still looked like a princess. She looked up at him and saw he was in a pair of slacks and an undershirt.

"Good morning, I hate to disturb you Lights, but I was wondering if you could button me up. Will isn't here to help me and I trust you so-"

"Where is Will?" Lights interrupted. She licked her lips and shook her head. "All he told me was he was going into town for something and he would return before we go to the courthouse."

"Courthouse?" He asked, wide eyed as if he knew the answer already. She rolled her eyes. "Will didn't tell you." She smacked her teeth. "We are getting married today, later on this afternoon and we want you and Harold to be present."

"As witnesses." Lights nodded his head in understanding. "Wow, alright, I didn't think it would be this soon." He looked at her state. "Well turn around." He ordered. She complied and immediately blushed as she felt his warm fingers on her back.

Lightholler thought of Sylvia back home in England and how he would have to always help her fasten up. It always fascinated him how women could go to great lengths like this and call this comfort. The act also made him miss his beloved wife too. As he looped the final button on the top, he noted the heart-shaped mole on the top her back. It was unusual, yet fascinating.

"All done, let me see how it looks." She turned around almost immediately and noted the satisfied look on Lights' face. "You look beautiful Yankee." He joked. She smiled at his response and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, I don't even have my makeup on."

"You honestly don't even need it. But like I tell my Sylvia, if it makes you feel better do it." He shrugged.

She hugged him tightly then scooted off back to her room. She noted the clock in the hall, it was almost noon. She felt that something was not right…


	30. The Ceremony PT I

**To my faithful readers: Okay, I know I said in the last chapter that there will be only one chapter left, but I decided last minute not to. I promise you I will make it all for the best. Thank you so much for being fans and I hope that this rocks.**

 _ ****I do not own Titanic 1997 movie and its characters, I only own my own. I am not profiting off this, but I wish because I can certainly use the money..****_

 **CH 29**

 **THE CEREMONY PT I**

Amanda saw a familiar figure walking with haste towards the bed and breakfast; as they got closer, she hopped off of the window seat and carefully hurried down the stairs. As she got to the base of the stairs, William had opened the front door.

"Where on earth have you been?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips in a playful manner. She noticed he had something being held behind his back. His smile shined like the gold on his gold buttons. "You look so beautiful Amanda." He whispered. He walked to her slowly and gave her a loving kiss on her painted lips. To him, she looked like a beautiful goddess; she managed to tie thin ribbons into her braided hair. Something he had never seen done before to a woman's hair but it was nothing but beautiful.

"What do you have behind your back?" She looked up at him with a playful glint in her eye. Will laughed. "Why are you so full of questions?" She gave him a side eye. "You are dodging me!" She laughed and tried to reach behind his back, causing him to move aside. "Patience Mandy patience." He raised his finger. He laughed as he noted her look of impatience. After a moment of torturing Mandy, he took his hand out from behind him and presented her with a bouquet of lilacs tied with a white ribbon and lace.

She gasped in surprise and covered her mouth; the bouquet was beautiful and the gravity of the day started to creep up on her. Her eyes began to well up as she gently took the bouquet out of her betrothed's hands. "Will….I….these are my favorites." She could hardly talk as the sweet aroma filled her nostrils. "I am going to ruin my makeup!" She laughed as she hugged Will tight to her. The scent of his aftershave made her feel as if her knees were going to go weak.

"They are not nearly as beautiful as you my sweet." He whispered rubbing her back. "I need to make sure Lights and Lowe are dressed and ready." He broke the embrace and kissed her on the lips. She smiled. "I will be waiting here." She moved aside to let Will go up the stairs. Amanda leaned her back up against the wall and closed her eyes. " _Today is the day Daddy."_ She thought to herself. " _I wish things were different. Mama could be alive and you both would be watching me get married to this phenomenal man."_ Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. She hurriedly wiped them off as she heard footsteps come from the other side of the room. She looked up and saw and older woman with a flower pot in her hands.

"Good afternoon deary, my you look like a princess!" She exclaimed and put the flower pot down. "You must be Mrs. Murdoch I presume?" She said wiping her hands with her apron. Mandy smiled and nodded. "Yes ma'am, pleasure to meet you Mrs. Blanchette." She stuck her hand out. The older woman grinned and took her hand and shook it gently. "It's Ruby. I hope my son was very well mannered with you all."

"Oh yes, he was more than well mannered, very sweet. I want do want to thank you for having us here, considering the circumstances and all." Amanda smiled.

"That is a beautiful bouquet you have there, you look like you are going to a wedding." Ruby casted on Mandy's gown. Mandy had to think fast for an excuse. " _Shit…."_ She thought.

"Well..yes….umm all of us are going to mutual friend's wedding. She was on the Titanic with us and is marrying one of the stewards." She immediately thought of Sara, whom last time she saw was on board the Carpathia. The former friend was maudlin over her new beau, John Thompson's illness. She wondered what ever came about them.

"I am the matron of honor." She lied then noticed the three men starting their decent down the stairs. "Will, tell Ruby about Sara's wedding." She winked her eye up at him and luckily he immediately understood. "Ahh yes, very last minute but with Sara's fine looks who can wait so long?" Will smiled. Mandy's smile on the other hand disappeared from her face. Will kissed her cheek. "Thank goodness for your quick thinking." He whispered in her ear. "Lads, we must be on our way." Will took Amanda's hand into his.

"Sorry to have to rush like this ma'am." Lights said as he put his cover on. Ruby nodded in understanding. "No worries, be careful on these streets now." She waved goodbye.

"It's not like it is any of her business anyway." Lights quipped as the four started down the sidewalk. Amanda rolled her eyes. "Lights she noted how I looked is all. Besides I couldn't tell her the real truth or she would have kicked me out of the house for sleeping in the same bed with a man who wasn't my husband….yet." She added.

Lights walked around a large puddle and took out a cigarette with a match. "It is actually nice out today." He blew the match head and threw it onto the ground. "Pretty day for a wedding." Lowe added. "Regardless, I was tired of the bloody cold." Lights said.

" _Stop bitching."_ Amanda thought. _"You haven't a clue."_ She noted now that the wound in her arm where the bullet once was lodged now started to itch. She couldn't do a thing about it but was relieved knowing it was starting to heal. Pretty quickly actually.

The continued throughout the city and Amanda quickly spotted a heavy-set woman dressed to the nines walking with a gentleman dressed nearly in the same manner. She handed her bouquet to Will and excused herself from the group. She picked her dress up and carefully crossed the road over and got close enough behind the woman to realize it was Molly Brown.

"Molly!" Amanda squealed. Molly almost immediately turned around; a huge smile that was nearly looked like it would break her face, she took Amanda into her arms. "Oh my darlin'!" She cried. Amanda's face was buried in Molly's bosoms.

"You look so lovely in that dress!" She brought Amanda out to look at her. Amanda in return breathed deeply and smiled back. "You and the Countess are about the same size." She noted. "Well, you have more of a caboose, but that is a _good thing._ " Molly winked.

"The Countess of Rothes once had this dress?" Amanda cocked her head. Molly nodded. "Yes love, when we heard about what had happened, with you taking that bullet, we were beside ourselves. That took a lot of courage and damn nerves of steel."

Mandy blinked in confusion. "How did you find out about that?" Molly switched her handbag to her other hand. "Honey word travels, especially amongst First Class folk." She took a wisp of Amanda's hair and put it behind her ear. "We didn't know if you would have any clothes salvaged from Titanic so the Countess and Madeleine wanted you to be taken care of. I wouldn't be of any help in that department." She laughed. "We were wondering if we would see you again, the Countess should be in route to Philadelphia by now, she left yesterday."

"What of Mrs. Astor?" Amanda asked sullenly. Molly sighed, "She is home, at the Astor house. Her mother is going to be staying with her until the baby comes. Madeleine won't get out of the bed, she practically forces herself to eat. You know it really bothers me that JJ wouldn't try and get on a lifeboat. Your fiancé would have let him board, considering that Madeleine was with child." Amanda wiped a tear away.

After a momentary silence, Molly turned to the accompanying gentleman and took his hand. "This is my husband, James, he too goes by JJ." He tipped his hat at Amanda. "Pleasure to meet you Miss." Amanda nodded. "Likewise, thank you."

Molly cocked her head over Mandy's shoulder and noticed the three officers walking towards them. She smiled in delight. "You boys look wonderful!" She exclaimed putting her hands on her hips. Mandy turned around and smiled at Will as he came up to Molly and hugged her. "How are you Mrs. Brown?" He kissed her on the cheek.

"Damn it, it's Molly." She playfully smacked Will in the arm. "As I was saying to Mandy here, she did a mighty courageous thing saving your life sonny."

That familiar pang of guilt started to creep up his spine. He looked down at his soon-to-be bride and put his arm around her. "She is my everything." He noted. Molly noted Will's sullen flash of guilt and padded his shoulder. "Don't you dare feel bad; you saved many people that night and this angel here ought be proud."

"I wish I could thank the Countess for this beautiful dress in person." Amanda sighed. "Considering that is my wedding dress." She looked up at Molly with a glint in her eye and immediately noted the shock in Molly's eyes. "What!?" Molly took Amanda's hands into hers. Amanda nodded. "Yes, all four of us are on our way to the courthouse now." She explained.

"That is so wonderful!" Molly took Amanda once again into her arms, not so tightly this time. "Is your father already there waiting?" She asked as she let Mandy go. Harold and Charles simultaneously sighed and Will looked away. JJ and Molly noted Amanda's changed body language. "Your father is here isn't he?" Molly asked.

Mandy bit her lip and shook her head. "No." Her voice cracked. Molly cocked her head in concern. "What's the matter honey?" Will squeezed Amanda tight to his side. "He passed away before Carpathia docked, it was a sudden death." He knew that Amanda wouldn't want Molly knowing all the brutal details. Molly's jaw dropped; she looked down at Amanda and noted the fresh tears in her eyes.

"I do not know what to say, that is shocking. Is there anything my husband or I can do? I am so sorry baby."

Mandy nodded and wiped her tears. "No, but thank you. I want this day to be a day of happiness and bliss." She grinned. JJ reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief. Amanda smiled. "Thank you Sir." She dabbed at her eyes carefully, not to try and smudge her makeup.

"There is one thing you can do though." Mandy said as handed JJ back his handkerchief. "You can come with us and be in attendance."

Molly reached out and cupped Amanda's cheek. "Lead the way love."

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William reached into his pocket and took out his pocket watch. "It is nearly one, ten minutes after the last time you asked me." He looked at Amanda and smiled. "I don't think you are anxious enough." He sarcastically added.

They had waited almost an hour for the Justice of the Peace to come back, presumably from lunch. They had spent the time applying for the marriage license and signing all the necessary paperwork. Molly walked over to the clerk. "Hey sonny, when do you think we can get this going?" She tapped her finger on the window. "These two needs" to hurry and get on with it." She looked over at Amanda and winked, causing Amanda to close her eyes in subtle embarrassment and hid her face in Will's shoulder.

Lowe was nodding in and out in his chair and Lights was in and out either smoking a cigarette or getting out of the warm waiting area. JJ was reading through the newest Macy catalog. "Molly, you want to pick up some things before we head back west?" He asked while eyeing the pages of men's suits and formal wear.

Molly walked back over and took a seat on the bench beside her husband. "I wouldn't mind a new hat." She took the catalog and thumbed through the pages. Mandy, who sat on the other side of Molly sat amazed as she noted how vintage and detailed everything inside the catalog was. She couldn't help but laugh in amazement; the Macy's store she knew was at the mall back in her what she considered her "old life". The catalog she was looking at along with Molly was what "modernized" was to the rest of them.

"Soon Macy's won't be just in New York you know. It will expand and it will be more than just a mail-in catalog." Molly looked over at her with an inquisitive look. "You think?"

Mandy nodded. "I know." Will nudged her in the side. "I wouldn't start talking about _certain_ things if I were you." He whispered into her ear. She pursed her lips and sat back straight. Molly then showed her the catalog. "You need to pick something out for a wedding present." Mandy smiled. "No, that isn't necessary Molly." She gently pushed the catalog away. Molly took Amanda's hand and put the catalog in it. "Pick anything you want." Molly gave her a stern but playful look.

"That will give you something to do instead of asking me for the time every fifteen minutes." Will said. Amanda looked at him and rolled her eyes.

A slamming of a door made Mandy drop the catalog and Lowe's eyes snapped open. A man in robes and glasses walked around to the clerk's window and grabbed a clipboard. He sat it down and turned to look at who all was sitting and waiting. Mandy swallowed and grabbed Will's hand.

"Amanda Morgan-Spencer and William McMaster Murdoch?" He asked. Mandy raised her hand and stood up. Molly snapped her handbag shut and motioned for her husband to stand.

"Yes Sir." Will stood up and straightened out his uniform jacket. The man walked up to the pair; "Good afternoon, I sincerely apologize for the wait. I am Judge George Clements." He shook Will's hand. "I will be officiating for you both today." He said with a smile. He looked at the others, "I am assuming you are all here to witness these two?"

"More than that." Molly smiled. "We are here to celebrate these two and their love for each other."

Mandy turned around and smiled at Molly. "What she said Sir." Mandy added. She could feel Will's hand grasp hers from behind and she squeezed it affectionately.

The Judge nodded and smiled. "Alright then, let's get married then!" He clapped his hands. "If you will, please follow me." He waved his hand towards a set of double doors that read **COURTROOM ONE** inscribed into the oak wood.

Amanda continued to hold Will's hand as her and company walked into the small courtroom, the Judge took out a small book from inside a box. He looked up and nodded at both Will and Mandy. "Will the both of you please step over here in front of me, facing each other."

Amanda smiled and handed her bouquet to Molly and followed Will. She turned and stared into her fiancé's blue eyes. Licking her lips in nervousness, she continued to look into Will's eyes, intensely, as if she was trying to become a part of them.

He smiled back at her and it was at that moment that the gravity of it all began to really sink into her. "I love you." He mouthed to her. She smiled and winked.

"Lady and Gentlemen, we are here to join these two, Amanda Morgan-Spencer and William McMaster Murdoch in Holy Matrimony. On this day of your marriage, you stand somewhat apart from all other human beings. You stand within the charmed circle of your love; and this is as it should be. But love is not meant to be the possession of two people alone. Rather, it would serve as a source of common energy, as a form in which you find the strength to live your lives with courage. From this day onward you must come closer together than ever before, you must love one another in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, but at the same time your love should give you the strength to stand apart, to seek out your unique destinies, to make your special contribution to the world which is always part of us and more than us." Judge Clements looked up from his script and noted how intense the both of them looked at each other. Their hands clasped, their eyes fixated.

"Who in here was the rings?" Judge Clements looked over at the small gathering. Both Lowe and Lights looked at each other and then over at Will, who reached into his pocket. "I do Sir." Will declared. He softly took Amanda's hand and placed what was his ring into hers. She looked up at him and smiled. "So that is what you were doing while you were away." She whispered. Will winked at her. "Surprise." He whispered back.

"William, I want you to repeat after me, I"-

"Sir, if you don't mind, I would like to say what is on my heart in lieu of the vows you have set for us." Will looked over at the Judge.

He smiled in response and nodded. "The floor is yours son."

Will swallowed and took Amanda's left hand. "My Amanda, you came into my life like a whirlwind." He looked deeply into her eyes. "We met under the most quickest of circumstances, and maybe it was how it should be. From the moment I laid my eyes upon you on the brow, I knew I had met my one true love. Your song that one faithful night, your wind blowing so gently in the sea breeze. My heart joined that chorus, my heart danced at your words. You were my angel, and I was so afraid that you were under the lustful spell of Charles Lightholler." He looked over at Lights who smiled at his old friend's joke.

Amanda looked down and laughed silently to herself. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. She continued listening to Will's words from his heart. "Mandy, my sweet Mandy, I will forever be there for you, through the darkness and the light. No other woman can _EVER_ make me feel what I feel for you. I will forever love you until my dying breath." He slipped the ring gingerly onto her finger.

Mandy pursed her lips, trying to stifle tears. Her turn was next and she in turn took Will's left hand. "William Murdoch, I will not remind you again of how special my circumstances were of meeting you. I took one look at you and I could feel every cell and every fiber within me pulsate." She licked her lips. "My heart danced, and I could honestly say that you were indeed the first man I ever fell in love with. I want to be there for you, for all your triumphs and trials, your good days, and your bad. I promise with everything I have that I will never abandon what we share and what we will create." She smiled through fresh tears. "I love you." She slipped Will's ring onto his finger in turn.

The Judge looked onward. "If anyone feels that these two should not marry, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I have something to say." A voice from the back announced. Everyone turned to find the source of the voice. Amanda dropped Will's hand and gaped at the figure walking towards her.


	31. The Ceremony PT II

****Hello readers! This is indeed the last chapter && it is very long. The epilogue will follow; I thank each and every one of you who has followed this since day one!****

 **ENJOY!**

 **CH 30**

 **THE CEREMONY PT II**

Amanda watched as her father walked towards her and Will. Will and the other officers stood dumbfounded as they watched what was supposed to be a dead man walk up to them, looking calm and clean shaven. Lowe could feel his heart pound so hard he thought Lights would hear it. He could note the look of confusion on Molly's face as she watched Amanda slowly back away.

"What in the hell?" Lights whispered in shock. His dangling unlit cigarette fell from his lip.

"Dad?" Amanda sounded incredulous. She couldn't believe her father was there in the flesh, after finding him in the morgue and then the burial at sea, he was _there._ "You….you-"

"I am supposed to be dead." Marcus answered rolling his eyes. Amanda couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt in reaction to her father's coldness. "Well yes." She returned a little bit of spite in her voice. "I saw you down below, I saw your face, you looked so pale…" She trailed on. "You were buried at sea." She looked over at Will and instinctively stepped over to him. "I was told you hung yourself."

"Well the Carpathia physicians cannot read a pulse for the life of them." He gritted his teeth in frustration. "I had taken a heavy sleeping pill in an effort to get _some_ sleep while I was locked in a dank, desolate holding cell." He then looked over at Lights and Lowe. "I do not know the caliber of doctors and nurses that the White Star Line hires, but believe me, they will most certainly hear about _ALL_ of this in due time. I woke up under a white sheet, in a cold and miserable makeshift morgue." He smirked. "The coroner had the shock of his life when I got off the cot. Quite the surprise of his lifetime." He took his hand out of his right pocket and with the other hand he rubbed it. Amanda noted the act suspiciously. "I am sorry that happened Dad." She swallowed. "I am happy to see you are alright and well." She forced a smile.

Her father stared at her almost without any emotion. "Well if it wasn't for your _beloved_ none of it would have happened." Officer Lightholler had had enough. "Sir, don't you _DARE_ put the blame on him. You acted irrationally and we had NO other choice but to have you arrested." His nostrils flared. "Your behavior is out of line!" Lights shouted. Amanda wrapped her arms around Will's arm. She could feel something was not right in the pit of her stomach. It would have been reasonable that her father was upset, but something about his demeanor screamed maniacal and even dangerous. She looked back over at Molly who again tried to get her to come over to her.

Amanda shrugged her shoulders, she didn't know what to do. Marcus looked over at her then over at Molly. He rolled his eyes. "Please, you think I would hurt my daughter?" His voice dripped in sarcasm. Molly's face hardened. "I don't know, you tell me." She looked at his posture and noted a rather noticeable bulge in his right pant leg. "You have had a bad last few days, I understand that completely, but don't take your anger out on us, this is a joyous day and as her father, you should be swelling up with pride." Molly tried to defuse the situation by trying to sound calm. She shifted her gaze back over to Marcus' pant pocket.

Judge Clements put his book down and walked over to Marcus. "I think it is best that you leave here before you are arrested again." The Judge spoke softly, but his tone was serious. "You need to leave now."

Marcus ignored him and looked over at Murdoch. "You happy having separated a family? Hmm? My dumbass daughter having to take a bullet for you. When you should have been dead." Mandy went from scared to now, bold. "Dad, that is such a cheap shot!" She let go of Will's arm. "How dare you act so cold and callous! If it is fear of me moving on with my life, that is one thing, but this is so grotesque!" Her fingernails dug into her palms. Will's gaze turned serious as he stared straight at her father. "Your daughter loves me, and I love her."

Marcus without hesitation let out a guttural laugh. "Yeah, I bet man, with every inch of your manhood." This caused Will to immediately gasp in shock. "You are OUT OF LINE!" Will was incensed. Never in his life had he heard such awful and venomous talk. Marcus looked over at his daughter who was now shaking with anger, and red with embarrassment. "Dad, I hate you." She whispered. Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. "You need to go."

The Justice of the Peace's mouth became taut. "This is far enough." He started walking for the double doors. "I am getting you out of here one way or another." He didn't get very far before a bullet him in the back. He instantly fell on his face, blood pouring from his back. He didn't move.

Amanda cried out in shock as she watched her father cock back the hammer of a pistol and pointed it towards her and Will. She immediately went back to Will's side. "Put the gun down." She cried. Lightholler and Lowe ran over to Judge Clements; Lowe reached down and placed a couple of fingers on the side of the unconscious man's neck. His face turned ashen and after a moment or so he looked up at Lights and shook his head. The Justice of the Peace was dead.

Amanda looked over at Will and she reached down to grab his hand. "We need to get out of here." She whispered frantically.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!" Marcus screamed. Causing Amanda and Will to freeze in their tracks. "I am in control, I can blow you all away." He said menacingly, waving the gun in the air. Lowe and Lights immediately turned on their heels and ran out of the courtroom. Marcus immediately fired at them, instead hitting a bench.

JJ Brown took his wife by the hand and slowly side-stepped towards the door. "No, I am not leaving here without them." Molly exclaimed. "Marcus, let them leave here. You don't want to cause any more harm." She pleaded. "Amanda, Officer Murdoch, follow us out." She reached her hand out.

Marcus pointed his gun back at Will. "You aren't leaving here without being in a body bag." He whispered. Amanda could feel a wetness travelling down her leg. She realized that she was so scared, she was urinating. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to think of anything of sustenance to say to try and get to safety.

"Daddy, mama would not want you to go on like this, what would she think if she saw you carrying on like this?" She couldn't fathom what would possess him like this. "Please just leave us be and let us be happy." She started to walk towards him slowly. Her eyes never leaving his. "Give me the gun." She whispered.

He continued to point it straight ahead, it was now in her line of sight. She had never felt more afraid and vulnerable in her life. Never in her life would she imagine being a scenario like this. "Please!" She pleaded. "You need help." She gulped. Will couldn't stand to see her be so close to danger. He tried to restrain himself and slowly walked over to be closer to Amanda. "Mandy, walk over to Mrs. Brown. This is between your father and I." He spoke while locking eyes with Marcus, trying to watch his every move.

Amanda once again shook her head. "No, I am not leaving here alone with him." She had her mind made up. "I refuse. Daddy, please, there is room in my life for the both of you." She cried. Marcus put the gun down when she refused to step out from in front of it. This caused Amanda to exhale in relief.

Suddenly, Marcus raised the gun again, pointing it at Will. "You made me do this." He quipped. "You have any last words, _Sir_?" Amanda screamed and rammed herself with all her weight into her father and tried to take control of the gun. Will sprang into action as he tried to save Amanda from yet again catching another bullet. The weight of Will and Amanda caused the three of them to collapse onto the ground. Molly shrieked in horror as she watched the three struggle to take control of the gun. Her husband ran out into the main area to find someone to come and take control of the deranged man.

"Give me the gun damn you!" Amanda screamed as she managed to find her father's hands and tried to work the gun out of them. Legs and arms from the three were entangled. Will tried with all his strength to snake his arms through Amanda's to get to the gun.

"BANG!"

A deafening silence followed; Will quickly got up on his feet, feeling another surge of adrenaline as he looked over himself for any sign of injury. He felt a small amount of relief as he noticed Amanda trying to get up. He kneeled down and helped her up the rest of the way. Marcus hesitated to open his eyes as he felt the weight of the two others lift off of him. "Amanda we need to-" Will stopped and looked down in horror.

Amanda's front was painted dark red; she however held the gun in her hand. "I got the gun from him." She said, blood oozing from her mouth in the process. The gun fell from her hand as she started to become disoriented, she swayed to one side, hitting the sturdy podium and sliding down into a lifeless heap. JJ Brown rushed in with the sheriff, JJ's eyes rounding like saucers upon looking at Amanda, she was not moving. He gritted his teeth and watched as Marcus tried to rush over to his daughter. Will, fueled by rage, grabbed him by the arm and tackled him onto the ground. " _DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE!"_ He screamed in his face.

With little effort, he wrapped his hands around his throat, not giving a damn whether he would be arrested, or if anyone was watching. "You don't deserve to live!" Will yelped. JJ and the sheriff ran over to Will; both men tried with all their might to pull him off. "Murdoch, this isn't going to help!" JJ pleaded with him, managing to remove his hands from Marcus' neck. With the help of the sheriff, he pulled Will completely off and onto the floor. Marcus began to gasp for much needed air as JJ pulled him up. "See what you have done?" He asked him, trying to stare into his eyes. "Take him away Sheriff." He ordered.

"No! Not without Amanda!" Marcus managed to yell as he was being handcuffed. "Amanda, come at once!" He snapped, not knowing the condition she was in. "I want my daughter!" He continued to yell as he was practically being dragged away. _"Amanda!"_ He could be heard outside the small courtroom. Molly looked over at her husband as he watched Will shuffle sullenly over to new wife. Tears spilling her face.

She knew in her heart this was the end.

Will's face turned white; he didn't think he would stay steady for long. His line of sight became tunneled as he knelt down and took Amanda into his arms. Her beautiful gown was now stained even more with blood. He leaned back against the wooden podium; the cross that had adorned it fell onto the ground beside him. He looked down at his bride, she was fading quickly. Her eyes no longer had that twinkle in them anymore. She could feel her senses beginning to dull, she too knew this wouldn't be like the last time, she was going to die.

"Will.." She whispered. She moved her hand around weakly to find his hand. He immediately took it and put it to his face. "Don't talk." He said. She looked up at him. "I am afraid my father got what he wanted." She winced in pain.

Molly stepped forward. "No he won't." She grabbed what was the Judge's book and opened it, turning the pages quickly to find where he had left off. Will looked up at her in admiration, she was going to finish the ceremony. Ordained or not, these two would be married. She had managed to remember him asking if there was anyone willing to object to their union and realized there was nothing much to say to finish it off. She tossed the book aside and knelt down. "Do you, William, take Amanda, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" She asked softly, taking his free hand into hers.

He nodded in sorrow; "Yes." His voice cracking. He cradled Amanda in his arms as if she was a baby, his baby. A baby that he would never have the chance to have with her. The baby that would have been conceived from the love the both of them shared together. Her breathing became more labored as she tried to prepare herself to speak. Molly took her other hand and grabbed Amanda's ice-cold hand. "Do you Amanda, take William here to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Molly's tears were now unstoppable as she watched Amanda struggle to talk.

"I…I do." Her eyes started to feel heavy. Will stroked her hair and held her tightly against his chest, her head in the crook of his neck. He began to rock her even more now, unable to grasp the concept of the inevitable. "Please Amanda, don't go." He cried.

Molly sat back. "I now pronounce you both married." She began to cry. "You may kiss your bride." Will looked down upon his angel one last time. She had somehow gained some energy because she had looked up at him, watching him slowly dip his head down. His lips touched hers with as much passion as he could muster, she tried to return it just as much.

He squeezed her hand once more as they broke their kiss; she was now struggling to breath. More blood started to pour out from her mouth, causing her to gargle and wheeze. Will instinctively grabbed her and sat her up.

"Come on Mandy breathe!" He exclaimed. " _BREATHE!"_ She struggled to comply with him, almost as if it was an order. She spat the blood out instantly, causing Molly to run as fast as she could. "I am going to find a doctor!"

Amanda started to hallucinate, seeing stars and twinkles of light in the distance. She assumed it was from the lack of oxygen or perhaps from the loss of blood. She struggled as much as she could to lay down. Will obeyed her and gently laid her back down upon the wooden floor.

She looked up at him, and mustered what she thought was one last smile. She could feel herself fading, her body feeling like it was going numb. She raised her hand to touch Will's cheek. "I am going to see my mother real soon." She whispered. Will's lower lip began to quiver as he struggled to fight back tears. He wanted to remain strong for her, but somehow it felt as if the walls were breaking down.

He rested his hand on top of hers, trying to find the right words to say to her, but he couldn't say anything at all. Her face started to become more pallor. "Will, stay strong for me, don't cry for me because I will be at peace." She swallowed. Her breathing started to become much shorter. " _I love you."_ She mouthed the words, her energy was gone. He let the dam loose; tears spilled from his eyes as he kissed her hand. "I love you." He whispered. He watched as a relaxed state took over her face. Her body became limp.

Amanda Murdoch was dead.

Will took her once again in his arms and burst into tears. Holding her tight to him, he bent down and smelled her hair. Rose and honeysuckle filled his nostrils and it made him ache for her even more. He inadvertently began to rock back and forth slowly, as if it was the natural thing to do. His sobs became more vocalized.

"I love you." He cried into her hair. With his hand, he began to undo her hair, slowly his fingers began to comb themselves through the braids. Her dark chestnut hair cascaded about her arms; Will once again buried his face, taking in the sweet aroma that was his Amanda. He began to pray to himself that this was all a bad dream, he would wake up next to her and see her sound asleep. He would wake her up by gently kissing the nape of her neck, he would then kiss her heart-shaped mole on her back. As he continued to rock with her, he was oblivious to Lights and Lowe coming back in to find their superior officer in a state of melancholy.

Officer Lightholler had put two and two together; he felt an all-consuming anger build up in him. He left an equally shocked Lowe behind and walked over to his superior officer and friend, trying to swallow the fresh anger he had brewing. He needed to comfort his friend…..

"Will?" Lights asked gently, carefully approaching the inconsolable man. He could make out the pool of blood that was starting to form under Amanda's now lifeless body, her once tan and fresh skin was now a deathly shade of gray. She however still looked like a princess lying in her husband's arms. He bit his lip as he got in a little bit closer.

"Will, we need to get her to the-"

Will sneered like a rabid dog. "I am _NOT_ ready!" He looked at Lights with daggers in his eyes. He knew what Charles was going to say and the sound of the word was enough to send him over the edge. "She is not going to some cold and desolate morgue!" He spewed in anger.

Lights nodded in understanding but he had to get him away, far away.

"Murdy, we want her to have a beautiful ceremony, for her to be remembered with nothing but love and admiration." He watched Will's face change from anger to now sullen agony. "Molly will be getting someone who can take her and prepare her for that. Amanda wouldn't want you to go on like this." Lights swallowed nervously. He held out his hand and tried to get him to latch on to it. "Let's leave right now and get this all straightened out." He suggested softly.

Will was not budging.

"I will stay with her until someone comes to take her away." Will responded flatly. He wouldn't take his eyes off his beloved. "You both sod off…. _now_..." He growled, almost sounding animal-like. Lowe's eyes rounded like saucers, he had never heard anyone sound like that in his entire life.

"Lowe can stay here with her and you can come join me for some drinks and-"

Will snapped his head to look up at his subordinate. "And what? Get drunk enough to shag someone else? Try to fuck my sorrows away?" Will snapped. Lights winced at Will's profane language. Very rarely would he ever hear him curse like this. "You may carry on like that when you are lonely from being away from Sylvia, but I most certainly won't tarnish the memories I have with this woman. Now leave! Please!" William pleaded.

Lights closed his eyes for a moment in frustration. "I was not trying to suggest that." He said softly kneeling down. "I want you to get your bearings, clear your head." He was about to grab Will by the arm when the double doors opened. The sheriff and a well-suited man entered the room; the sheriff had in arms a canvas cot. Will almost instantaneously registered what was going on.

"No! I cannot let you take her away." He shook his head. "My angel will be buried I assure you but I don't want her to leave my sight just yet, I am not ready." He tried to plead with the two men as they approached him. The suited man took his hat off. "Sir, my name is Collingsworth, Henry Collingsworth." He said gently. I am one of the borough's coroners." He knelt down to look at Will at his level. "I understand wholeheartedly what you are going through, believe me I do." He noted the grief in the senior officer's eyes. "But I have to do my job. It is the law, and this woman was killed in one of the most heinous ways I could ever imagine." His tone was full of genuine empathy. "If you want to see justice for your wife, you need to let me do my job."

Will looked away from him, continuing to hold her body tightly to him. He refused to look at the coroner. "Why do you need to look at her? She is obviously dead."

"I have to make an official ruling on how she died, and I have to issue a death certificate Sir." Mr. Collingsworth noted William wincing at the word "death". "I don't want to have you subdued, I really don't, but you will leave me no choice if you don't let me take her." His voice started to venture off onto the firm side. "I _insist_ that you will be informed of anything that comes up, I will also make it to where you will be the sole person in charge of her arrangements." Will turned to look at Mr. Collingsworth, cocking his head. "I am her husband, I am damn well going to be making her bloody arrangements." He sneered.

After a moment of silence, the coroner looked up at the Sheriff and then over at Lights. They both knew what they had to do.

Lights immediately charged over to Will and grabbed Amanda's arms. The sheriff went over and grabbed Will, fighting with him to let go.

"No!" Will shouted. "Don't you take her away from me!" He screamed in Lights' face as he managed to get her upper half into his arms, Will took control of her bottom half, nearly ripping the seam of her gown.

"Come on son, don't make this harder than it already is." The sheriff grabbed Will's hands and tried to break the grasp they had on her legs. Lights took all that he had and pulled her towards him, causing her foot to hit Will in the chin. Her dead weight was finally off of Will, leaving the bloody mess all over his uniform and floor. Lights took her into his arms as the coroner laid out the canvas stretcher. Will couldn't help but cry painful tears as he watched her being laid down. Finally, Mr. Collingsworth unfolded a white sheet and sighed. He bit his lip as he draped it over Amanda's lifeless form.

This caused Will to become frantic. He rammed himself into the sheriff, easily taking his gun out of its holster. Lights and Lowe immediately started to charge over to Will, as he put the gun to his temple. His mind seemed to act in slow motion, as he closed his eyes.

"BANG!"

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 _PRESENT TIME, 8:35pm_

A hard thud caused Amanda to stir; she could sense that she had been moving. As she opened her eyes, she could feel her ears pop, people were all around her. Her eyes snapped open as she looked around her. Her father had his reading glasses on, reading his newest book. He looked over at her and immediately smirked in amusement.

"She finally awakens." He noted, putting the book down. "You were out almost the entire flight." She looked at him incredulously, feeling like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. He noted her look with confusion. "Honey were you dreaming? While I was awake I could hear you clear as day. At one point, I thought you were going to hit me!" He couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "You were flailing about as if you were in some struggle."

"What did I say?" She asked, obviously shocked. She hoped she hadn't said too much. He placed a bookmark inside the page he was reading and closed the book. As he took his glasses off, he rubbed the bridge of his nose out of habit. "You were babbling on about meeting someone on a ship, and the ship had been sinking." He giggled. "I think I was in the dream because you kept telling me to back off from your fiancé." She looked down in embarrassment and started to feel nauseous.

He continued to talk and laugh about all that she had said and done, but she had tuned him out. All she could do was sit there, in a state of extreme catatonia. She managed to look at herself and saw that she was wearing modern clothing: her denim jacket, skinny jeans and her new bejeweled flip flops. This wasn't right, she was supposed to be dead, living in a world much different from the one she had lived in her whole life. Her father was her killer, this had to be some sort of sick and twisted dream. Marcus Spencer slowly became concerned. "Are you alright love? We are home now, Virginia at last." He squeezed her hand lovingly. "You will be going back to school to finish off your degree and you will land that awesome historian job you have always wanted."

Amanda was jolted out of her trance by the sound of the plane's intercom system. "Welcome to Norfolk." The Captain announced. "The current temperature is 71 degrees and winds out of the east at about 13 miles an hour. The current time is 8:35 pm."

She closed her eyes and covered her face in defeat. " _It was all just a dream._ " She thought to herself. " _A cruel, deceitful dream."_ She could feel tears sting her eyes, her nostrils flared. Her father noted her visible display of distress. She felt as if her chest was tightening up, cold and hot shivers ran throughout her body. Her vision became tunneled and dark. He grabbed her hand, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Mandy?" He asked, shaking her hand. He felt for her pulse instinctively; it was racing. He knew what was happening, and yet he was so perplexed. "There is no need to panic love, we are home." He assured her, going back and forth between patting and rubbing her hand. She instinctively unbuckled her seatbelt to try and flee. Marcus took his arm and gently blocked her from going anywhere. "You need to sit back down, we haven't been cleared to get off yet." He was firm but still concerned with her behavior.

"You don't understand! We are not supposed to be here!" She cried as she struggled to go past him. He looked at her wildly. "You need to sit down, you obviously had a bad dream." It was him who unbuckled his seat and sat her down. "We only have a few minutes left on here then we will get off." He looked her squarely in the eyes. "You will feel much better once we get home."

She shook her head "no" and pounded her chair in frustration and hurt. _"I refuse to believe it."_ Her angry thoughts began to storm in her head. There was never any time in her life where she could feel, taste, or even smell in a dream. She could remember _every_ detail, the feel of the fabric of her dresses and gowns. She could feel Will's hand in hers, the cold air of the North Atlantic, and the feeling of his kisses. She looked out the window and saw that it was beginning to be nightfall, the oranges and pink hues of sunset decorated the sky. The plane was almost at its gate, she could see people in the windows waiting to board their flights.

This started to feel as surreal as the dream itself.

As she continued to sit, she slowly began to convince herself that it was all a dream. Sometimes people dream of things they really want, like some subconscious desire. It still hurt however, it was like someone taking a spoon of ice cream and giving it to a small child and then taking the spoon back and laughing. She felt teased, and it didn't feel good to say the least. The modern world as she came to call it, seemed more fake, facetious, and cruel than what she "dreamt" what 1912 was. The more she pondered on it, she realized the friends she had made on _Titanic_ were worth more than who she came to know in her lifetime.

The plane's lights came on and everyone was free to roam about. People were reaching above to get their bags overhead, some were happy to stand and stretch themselves. She could hear some call their husbands, wives, etc. to let them know they had landed. Amanda reached under the seat in front of her and grabbed her backpack. She unzipped it and took out her cell phone, looking at it, she noticed her Facebook had some activity. Curious, she opened it and noticed she had a friend request.

 _ **Sara Thompson has sent a friend request**_

Amanda saw the name and immediately felt her heart pound. " _No way…."_ She clicked on the profile photo and saw Sara. It was her face; her clothing was of course modern. Her same strawberry blonde hair was in a French braid. She was wearing sunglasses, and her skin was as pale as alabaster. Suddenly, her hands started to involuntarily shake. She couldn't be sure if it was from nerves or just plain excitement. She immediately messaged her asking how she knew of her. Her father nudged her; "You ready to get off?" He had his bag in his hand. Amanda looked at him and cautiously grinned in response. "Yeah." She got up and swung her back pack over her shoulder.

As she followed her father and everyone else down the aisle and off the plane, she couldn't help but feel the same way Rose had felt when she was coming onboard _Titanic._ She could feel as if chains had bind her; in her years of living she lived the way she knew how. Under her father's thumb, no boyfriend, no taste of real independent life. Even when she was in college, she lived with him to avoid the costs of living in the dorms. She never had the life of the perpetual twenty-something: adventure, finding love, discovery, _nothing._

As they walked into the baggage claim, she let him take the lead, as she looked down at her phone. She checked her inbox to see if Sara ever replied to her message. It showed it had been read by her but there was no response. This troubled her for a moment; she looked up for a moment to see that her father too was looking down at his phone. More people started to form around her, looking haggard, some too were looking at their phones.

" _We are all robots."_ She thought to herself. Her heart once again pined for her time with Will and the other officers. The more she continued to stare at everyone and their self-obsessed behavior, the more she missed 1912. As the baggage carousel moved and people around her walked over to grab their bags, she carefully devised a plan in her head.

She started to feel lonesome; she wanted the dream she had to become a reality

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Amanda dragged her huge suitcase and followed her father up the stairs to the front door of their old house, tucked up in the historic side of town. It had been a few years since they had stepped foot inside and her father was trying not to burst at the seams. He unlocked the door and nudged it open with his knee.

"Home sweet home!" He dropped his bags at the door and flicked the light switch on. Amanda half-smiled as she walked in, placing all her bags on the floor. Their downstairs furniture was all covered with blankets and linen to prevent dust. She walked into the living room and saw a huge banner on the wall, welcoming them home. It was adorned with glitter and sequins.

"Who did this?" She pointed to the banner. "It is pretty." Marcus walked in from the kitchen and smiled at the banner. "Perhaps one of your friends. Or maybe Linda and Jamie, since they were watching the house while we were away." Linda and Jamie was a married couple that have known the family since Amanda was very young. Jamie was another Naval doctor her father had worked with in the past.

She shrugged indifferently and decided it was best to head upstairs to start the tedious task unpacking all her things. It would be a long night considering the impending jet lag and of course her utter dismay of waking up to not being with Will. As she walked up the stairs, she fought in her mind like crazy to get the thoughts of Will and everyone else out of her head. As she got to her bedroom door, a wishful thought came to her mind.

" _Maybe Will is waiting for me…"_ She bit her lip and rolled her eyes. " _Yeah….like that will happen Mandy, you stupid girl."_ She opened the door to find an almost empty room, expect for a bed and various posters and such on her wall. As she stood there, mindlessly, it had been the first time she was alone. It was not the kind that one had wished for in the time of chaos or stress. She didn't want to be there anymore; she didn't want to live a life that was expected of her to live.

After a few moments, Mandy reached over to her bed and grabbed her backpack and unzipped it; she took out a couple of pill bottles, one was Ibuprofen, the other were sedatives. She put the Ibuprofen back into the bag and walked over to her bathroom with the other bottle. After shutting the door behind her, she leaned up against it, closing her eyes. Nothing else would ever bring her to something as drastic and so permanent in her life. She looked hard at the bottle in her hand, as if looking for answers.

" _For Will."_ She could almost see him, his face imbedded in the prescription label of the bottle. She felt as if she got her answer. Taking her palm, she turned the white cap and flipped the bottle upside down. Blue capsules poured into her hand; looking like tiny sapphires. She placed them as carefully as she could on the edge of the sink and turned the faucet.

Letting the water run, she looked into the mirror. She didn't like the what the person looked like staring back at her. This woman didn't look happy or joyous being back home, her heart was broken. She had made up her mind, this was it. She grabbed a few of the little blue jewels and threw them back into her mouth. The bitterness of the pills caused her to gag; she scooped her hands and filled her them with water.

As she swallowed the first batch, she took more into her hand and kicked them back with another handful of water. Surprisingly, she could feel relief as the pills went down her throat. For extra insurance, she took the remaining pills into her mouth and swallowed them. Feeling satisfied, she shut the water off and walked back into her room, shutting the door behind her. She walked over to the closet and grabbed a blanket and pillow. After unfolding the blanket, she laid on the bed, curling herself into a ball.

All Mandy could do was lay there and wait.


	32. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

 _Summer, on a beach in Portugal…._

The crystal waters sparkled in the sun as Amanda walked along the shore with her bucket of seashells. Out of the countries she had seen so far, Portugal was her favorite. The food, dancing, scenery, and now the beach had been nothing but breathtaking. She found a spot and unfolded her sheet to sit on. It had been afternoon, and hardly anyone was around.

She looked out into the horizon and watched the waves ebb and flow. The serenity of it all had been a welcomed treat after the last few months. She had been working countless hours interning for a major historical advisor in downtown Philadelphia for quite a while and right at the beginning of summer, she had been awarded a very prestigious position at one of the maritime museums in New York City. It had been both an overwhelming and exciting experience to say the least.

After having to go through the stress and workload from the internship, she was treated to a summer of touring parts of Europe. It would be the one of only few instances of down time she would have in a while. Considering her beginning her new job the following September, and William having been offered the position of Chief Officer of the newest passenger ship _Monterey,_ she really wanted to cherish the time away from hustle and bustle of city life.

She had closed her eyes for a moment when she felt something wrap her from behind, making her squeal. "William Murdoch, I am going to kill you!" She laughed. He laid her down upon the blanket and kissed her passionately on the mouth. She reached up to caress his cheek, feeling the stubble of new hair coming in, which she didn't like.

"You need to shave." She said, breaking the kiss. She looked up at him while putting a hand over her eyes. The sun was brutal that time of the day. He rolled his eyes. "And you need to come in and get some rest. It isn't good for the baby to be out in the heat for so long." He rubbed her once flat stomach affectionately.

"Will, I am only a couple of months along." Ever since she had been told by their doctor that she was pregnant with their first child, Will had become overprotective. He had been adamant about her staying at home while he was away but she would not have it. He finally relented and trusted her judgement.

She had been surprised at how quickly her and Will became expectant parents. Last month, she had fallen ill and passed it off as a stomach ailment, however, over the course of a week, she was not getting any better. Will became concerned and practically had to threaten her if she didn't go to the doctor. Because of the workload and stress of the internship, she told the doctor she was probably stressed, but when he asked her when her last cycle was, she was clueless. It didn't come as a surprise considering how many times they had each other since they were married. It seemed like they never got enough of each other.

"So? I still can't worry?" He laughed. She sat up and scratched her nose. "You keep worrying you will end up in the asylum." She answered. "We aren't supposed to be doing any worrying whatsoever while away, you made that perfectly clear."

He sighed. "That was before we found out you were carrying my child inside you." She snapped her head up at him, " _Your_ child?" She took the bucket of shells and poured them over his head. "You forget who has to carry it until January." He rolled his eyes as he took his hand to comb out the sand from the shells out of his hair.

"You ready to be a Chief Officer?" She casually asked. She noted the glint in his eye when she said those words. If there was anyone who deserved the title, it was him. He had overcome a lot after the sinking; after getting married and all that, he started to have real severe nightmares. They mainly consisted of the night that _Titanic_ hit the iceberg followed by the sinking. He voiced his guilt and his continued grief over the crewman and passengers that had perished.

Last month, Amanda had suggested him to see a psychotherapist to talk out his sorrows to. He promised that he would work out his struggles on his own and vowed to try and forgive himself. She would always remind him that he was a hero that night and many people were alive thanks to him. He had put more people on boats than any other officer on that ship. On the other hand, she had some pretty weird dreams herself, mainly before the wedding. They were so profoundly vivid that she would wake up in the middle of the night and have to write them down. The most severe was of her dying from a gunshot wound, and Will killing himself after she died in his arms.

"I am, I wouldn't have taken the offer if I wasn't. I just hope that this ship will stay afloat." He laughed. She smiled and laid her head on his chest. "This ship isn't transatlantic. It is only going up and down the east coast." She noted. He kissed the top of her head. "Still I worry." He rubbed her back. "I wish that Lights could have moved here and taken the offer of First Officer."

She looked up at him. "You know he wasn't going to go without his wife, she had been adamant about staying in England when we visited them last week." He took a piece of her hair and twirled it around his finger. "She wants children." He smiled as he envisioned Lights being a father. "I would pay to see him change a nappy."

"You never know, he might be a wonderful dad." She smiled. "I know you will be." He took her into his arms and kissed her. "I hope the baby has your looks and can carry on the Murdoch name." She rolled her eyes. "I take it you want a boy." She looked at him. He looked away and smiled. "Maybe."

After a moment of staring out at the waves, she took his hand into hers. "I love you Will, I am so happy everything had worked out. God has us where we belong." He kissed her cheek and hugged her.

"Together." He whispered.


End file.
